Sunday, December 31, 2006

Tayo na Pinili Natin

Pinipili daw ang kaibigan
Kaibigang pagpupunlaan ng tiwala
Tiwalang sasandiganan ng pagkakaibigan
Pagkakaibigang walang hanggan

Nasaan ka na ngayon
Ngayon na hindi kaylanman
Kaylanman magiging kahapon
Kahapong gaya ng bukas

Nagkulang ba tayo
Tayo sa isa’t-isa
Isa’t-isang hindi tayo
Tayong di ikaw ni ako

Batid ng puso ko ang ikaw
Ikaw na di nagkulang
Nagkulang sa paggiging kaibigan
Kaibigang maaasahan

Ngunit bakit ganito
Ganito ang ngayon
Na di na gaya ng dati
Dati maging nang bukas

Walang sagot sa mundo
Mundong mapaglaro’t mapanglito
Mapanglitong manggagaling sa’yo
Sa’yo ang isasagot ng mundo

Kung ang mundo ay walang sagot
Sagot na hanap sa’yo
Sa’yo na tanging totoo
Totoo at ikaw ang aantayin ko

Para sa iyo Totoong Kaibigan

Monday, December 25, 2006

Panibagong Pasko

Pasko na naman.
Unang pasko ko na seminarista ako.
Bakit tila kakaiba ang pasko?
Baka naninibago lang ako.

Masaya ba o malungkot?
Excited ba o matamlay?
Payapa ba o Magulo?
Baka naninibago lang ako.

Ngunit hindi nga ba?
Hindi nga ba ito ang hatid ng pasko?
Ang paninibago.
Ang pababago sa puso ko.

Panahong bago ang lahat.
Napawi ang bawat kalungkutan pati saya.
Nabura pagkatamlay at pagkabigahani.
Bagong muli ang lahat sa Kanya.

Bagong muli ang lahat.
Nang dahil sa Kanya.
Sa pamamagitan Nya.
Sa pagsilang Nya.

"See I make all things new." These were the words of Jesus as he carries the cross to Calvary. As we celebrate this event of Christ renewing our lives ones again, may we live life looking through the renewed eyes of faith, hope, and love.

Mapagpanibagong Pasko sa ating lahat.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006


Truth is simple.
It's so simple that whenever I would try to justify nor define it, all the more it becomes complicated.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006


Yesterday morning, boys from Don Bosco Mandaluyong came to experience a short vocation orientation before going to Batulao for their retreat. I was asked to give my vocation story, and if possible, make it short (for whenever I would be asked to relay my vocation story, it would take me 30 minutes or so) – I told them to give me just 5 minutes this time (oh diba very short!)
While the program was going, I was thinking about what to share to these people, something short yet something substantial. And I thought of sharing a very own reflection about some lines that struck me sometime during my meditation – I shared only my reflection.

“If you seek life in the land of death you will not find it. Can there be a blessed life where life itself doesn’t exist?” –The Confessions of St. Augustine

These lines speak about being “Out of Place.” And being out of place means being uncomfortable, that would most probably lead us to being miserable. We will always be in a continuous “search and find” state in dealing about our being "In Place," in the right place. It also seemed to be similar to the message of Michael Smith’s composition, “My Place in this World.”

“Looking for a reason
Roaming through the night to find
My place in this world
Not a lot to lean on
I need Your light to help me find
My place in this world”

Where is your place in this world?
Where are you now?
What’s next for you?

I’ve found my place for the moment and yet still searches for it. May you continue to “search and find” yours.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

My Hope

Hopeless, I now feel
Everything seems to be meaningless
I am discouraged

Kneeling, I prayed hard
Looking around everywhere
I am in struggle

Blue and white, natures of hope
It’s then I knew it was you
And I hoped again

Mary assumed into heaven body and soul. Pray for us.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006


People come and go
Today their here
Tomorrow their gone
Most of the time, for a reason we don’t understand

The reasons may be as simple as this
And maybe as big as that
For us, maybe significant
For him, maybe totally not

Nothing is certain
And nothing will be
You might try to build something now
But for how long it’ll last, wait and see

Yet behind these truths
You continue to love
Your past reminds you of your trying
And now you’re trying ones again

Say, there’s no harm in trying
But hurt in trying there’s
It’s just a matter of faith, hope, and love
And how you can ease the hurt for him up above

Never feel empty because of him
You would never know if he also feels empty because of you
Don’t even be tempted to think that you’re the only one hurting
You would never know how hurtful the situations were for him

Offer you hurt and never think that you’re alone
You would never know his intentions and motives
Maybe he’s also hurting for you
You would never know

"Equilibrium" is dedicated to Sem. Chino Reyes.
Thank you for being such an inspiration.

Saturday, July 22, 2006


Dalawang buwan na magmula nung pumasok ako ng seminaryo.
Masaya? boring? Malungkot?
Siguro oo.
Siguro minsan.
Siguro hindi.
Pero ang buhay sa seminaryo ay walang pagkakaiba sa buhay sa labas nito.
Masaya? boring? malungkot?

Hindi ba't ganun nga din ang nangyayari sa labas.
Hindi ibig sabihin na nasa seminaryo ako'y hindi ko na kayang gawin ang nagagawa sa labas nito.
Dito nag-aaral din.
Dito nagtatrabaho din.
Dito naglalaro din.
Dito nagdarasal din.

Ano nga kaya ang mayroon dito na wala sa labas?
Ano nga ba ang mayroon sa labas na wala dito?
Siguro may mall sa labas.
Kami nagshoshopping ng ideas, knowledge, at creativity sa study hall.
Siguro may gimmickan at drinking session sa labas
May shrine naman kami para gummimick at makipagsession din sa Diyos..

Hindi nga ba kami malaya sa loob?
Paano nga ba masasabing malaya ka?
Ako, Kami, sa seminaryo, pinili namin maging seminarista dahil doon at sa pagiging ganoon namin nakikita at naisasabuhay ang kalayaan kami kalayaan, sa sarili, sa pakikitungo sa kabataang tulad namin, at malaya sa pakikipag-ugnayan sa Diyos.

Sino nga bang karapatdapat?
Ako? Kami?
Wala sa amin.
Wala sa atin.
Ang bokasyong ito ay hindi patungkol sa atin.
Ngunit tungkol sa Diyos na tumatawag sa atin.
Sa kabila ng natural at likas nating pagkakasala.
Sa kanila ng ating likas na pagiging makasalanan.
Hindi tayo kailanman magiging karapatdapat
Pero kaya nating subakan maging karapatdapat.

Sino nga bang handa?
Wala naman amin.
Wala naman sa atin.
Pero ang alam ko lang.
Kaya nating paghandaan ang pagiging handa.

Hindi pa sikat ang araw, kami’y gising na.
Ang iba sa inyo, baka naghihilik pa.
Hinaharap naming ang bawat araw.
Mahirap pero masarap.
Boring, nakakamiss, at malungkot minsan.
Pero kung babalikan ko yung araw na sinagot ko ang tawag ng Diyos.
Yung araw na dama ko, nasa tabi ko talaga s’ya at naghihintay lang sa sagot ko.
Siguro wala ng saya na hihigit pa.

Monday, June 19, 2006

Once It's Gone, It's Gone

It’s my third week in the seminary, enjoying my studies, works and prayers. But actually, I am really disturbed by what is happening to some people that I left in Manila; some people very close to my heart.

Every morning, and I mean every morning, during my morning meditation in our lauds, I never forget to pray for them.

Actually I am just thinking of one very special person right now, and he was even in my dreams during the past nights of my sleep. I regularly pray for him during the past year when we were not seeing each other. He was a very big help in my vocation, because of him, I learned to accept things that are far beyond my control.

Although I never knew the reason why he left, I kept on believing in him, that he left for a better reason; a reason that would benefit both of us. And I think, this is one sweet fruit of his intention; my vocation was confirmed and I finally dared to answer God’s call.

The night before I would enter the seminary, I wanted to talk to him even for the last time. To settle things that had happened before, to close issues that should be closed, and to thank him for many things, for everything, but for some reasons I’m still afraid that he would refuse to talk to me.

It’s been a year since the crisis in my vocation happened yet everything is still fresh to my mind. I think one year is enough to wait for something that I expect to come, but now I feel discouraged that things won’t be happening the way I expect them to be.

Bro. Noel gave us a sermon last night in the study hall about the proper use of time. The time lost cannot be brought back, even if you make up for it; you’re making up for it at the present. “Once it’s lost, it’s lost.”

Maybe it’s enough. One year is one year, and it’s time to move on and leave the past to the past. Now, I’m leaving everything to that special friend. I don’t want to be unfair to the God to whom I chose to serve, to love and to give my whole life. But rest assured that he is always in my prayers.

Sweet Goodbye,


Saturday, June 03, 2006


Sa totoo lang hindi ko alam kung paano ko isasablog ang nararamdaman ko ngayon. Habang inaalala ang lahat ng pinakamasasaya at pinakamalulungkot, ang mga pinaka masasakit at pinakamahihirap na sitwasyong pinagdaanan natin, ang pinakalito at pinakagulong pagpiling hinarap ko, alam ko nandyan ka lang para sa akin, para sa atin.

Kapag daw nasusugatan tayo at naghilom ang sugat, mayroong markang natitira. Isang peklat. Isang natural na palatandaan ng sugat, ng sakit at ng nakaraan. At tandang-tanda natin kung kailan at sa paanong paraan tayo nasaktan at nasugatan. Pero hindi lang daw pala sugat ang nagmamarka. Pati pala ang pagsasama. Kung paano kang naging bahagi ng buhay ng isang tao. Kung paano kayo naging hugutan ng lakas ng loob sa bawat isa. Kung paanong kadamay ka n’ya sa pagkabigo at pagkasawi. Tila nagiiwan ka rin ng isang marka. Nagiiwan ka rin ng isang lamat sa puso nya. Hindi ba’t tandang-tanda mo rin at malinaw sa’yo kung paano s’yang naging bahagi ng buhay mo?

Ganyan daw ang pagpapasalamat. Sa bawat salamat ay may pagbabalik-tanaw. Sa bawat salamat ay may lamat. At alam na alam natin sa kung paano naging bahagi ng buhay natin ang taong yon. Sa bawat pakikipagkilala ay mayroon ding pagpapaalam. At ngayong aalis na ako. Sana alam mo kung gaano ka naging malalim na lamat sa puso ko. Isang lamat sa buhay ko.

Sa mga pinakamalalapit sa puso ko, mga kaibigan na tinuring kong kapatid, ang iba tinuring kong kuya at ate, minsan ang iba para ko pang magulang. Alam mo ba, inspirasyon kita. Sa kung ano ako ngayon ay kasama ka. Sa kung sino ako ngayon ay isa ka sa dahilan. Nagbalik-tanaw ako sa ating nilakbay. Habang tinatanaw ko ito, naisip kong hindi pala ganoon kapatag ang kapatagan, hindi pala ganoon kapayapa ang dagat, may mabatong parte parin pala kahit na ang pinakamalinaw na sapa, at hindi rin pala madaling akyatin ang bundok. Pero ang lahat ng ito nadaanan na natin. Nadaanan nating magkasama. Ikaw at ako. At naisip ko din na hindi pala naging ganoon kahirap, kasakit, kagulo ang lahat. Dahil nariyan ka. Dahil kasama kita.

[Habang yakap ako isa-isa ng mga kaibigan ko nang mga sandaling iyon, pilit kong tinatanong ang sarili ko sa kung paanong paraan nga ba ako naging bahagi ng buhay nila at sila sa buhay ko. Hangad kong ipagdasal n’yo ako at lahat ng seminarista na nawa’y masunod namin ang kagustuhan ng Diyos sa aming kanya kanyang bokasyon.]

Salamat sa lamat.

Kalakbay ng kabataan,

Sem. Ron Abriel A. Evangelista
Salesian Seminarian

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Inlab ka ba? Ako OO.

Sa kanya?
Mabuti ka pa.

Holding hands na,
May kiss at hugs pa.
Love mo ba sya?
Yeekee, ang sweet naman.

Inlab din ako.
Sana nga lab ko sya.
Kasi s’ya, lab nya ako.

Ang hirap nga lang minsan,
Gusto ko din ng kiss.
Gusto ko din ng hug.
Pero wala akong nakukuha.

Ang hirap n’yang mahalin.
Madaming luha at sakit.
Minsan nga nagdududa na ako
Mahal ko nga ba s’ya?

Minsan gusto ko nang sumuko
Pero kapag nakikita ko sya,
Nakabayubay sa krus,
Walang duda, Inlab parin ako sa kanya.

Friday, May 05, 2006


Lord, andito yung mga sanas ko. Mga sanas mula sa puso ko. Iniiwan ko sana sya sa'yo. Para pag-alis ko, all these sanas maioffer ko sa'yo.

Sana si Mommy wag malungkot sa pag-alis ko. Para sa'yo naman to dba.
Sana si Kuya Janmapili na yung right work for him. Kung pwede yung gusto nya talga.
Sana si Rina maging masaya pa with her friends at sana maging mas close pa sila.
Sana si Jason wag mapagod sa pagseserve even the smallest way to help. Iguide mo sya.
Sana si Cholo lumaki na. Kasama na rin dun yung holistic growth nya.
Sana si Kuya Gary hindi na masyadong mapressure sa work nya.
Sana si Imman pumayat na. Sana mas maging masayahin pa.
Sana si Jhed cool lang kahit pinapagalitan. Darating din naman yung time nya.
Sana si Igy laging may peace of mind and heart. Nandyan ka lang naman para sa kanya.
Sana si Kiel in-love muna sa studies bago main-love sa mga girls nya.
Sana si JM maging matatag pa sa mga hamon ng life. Malaki ang inaasahan ko sa kanya.
Sana si Mikky okay ang maging takbo ng studies at love-life. Alagaan mo po sya.
Sana si Luis magenjoy sa career na pinili nya at matupad ang mga dreams pa nya.
Sana si AJ hindi na malito sa bokasyon nya, at sana pumayat na rin sya.
Sana si Jerome mag grow pa at mas maging clear sa kanya ang vocation nya.
Sana si Jesser maipagpatuloy ang pagiging servant-leader sa USTE at san man magpunta.
Sana si Martin manatiling ”iba-sa-iba”. Sana nga maging sila na ni Chesca.
Sana si Kate maabot ang marami pa nyang pangarap para sa pamilya at sarili nya.
Sana si Rex sobrang laging okay. Marami akong utang at ipinagpapasalamat sa kanya.
Sana si Leo manatiling nakakapit sa principles nya at di maguluhan sa pulitika.
Sana si Dave maging inspirayon sa mga peers nya. Lalo na kapag naglead na sya.

Narito ang mga sanas ko sa mga taong pinakamalapit sa puso ko, Sana lang. Sana nga. Paano ko man sabihin, gaano ko man hangarin. Ikaw parin Lord ang pupuno sa kakulangan ng mga sanas na yan. Sana sa pagiging wala ko sa piling nila, mas maramdaman ka'ng working sa buhay nila.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Isn't Parent's Day Yet

I was with Kate last night chatting over a Banana frapp. We haven't seen each other for quite a long time since 2005 when we were still giving retreats in Quezon City. So many stories and sharings, then one moment I was struck on what she said, "A good priest is produced through good parents." Then she left and went to the ladies room.

Thinking about it for a while, I remembered Mommy. I imagined her and how hard it is for her to race a family without Daddy on her side since he passed away 12 years ago. Where does she get her strenght all this time? If it's from us her children particularly me, I wouldn't be worthy of being one.

My mom is my Superwoman! What I am now is because of this Superwoman. And Kate was right, I owe everything to mom. Thanks Mom, Thanks Dad. I love You.

Monday, April 10, 2006


Ikaw na [Naging] Bahagi Ko
Ron Evangelista

Gusto kong magpaalam sa iyo
Ikaw na naging malaking bahagi ng pagkatao ko
Hindi dahil sa hindi na tayo muling magkikita
Pero dahil sa gusto kong malaman mong mahal kita

Minsan ko nang ginamit ang mga katagang ito
At muli kong gagamitin ngayon sa paglisan ko
Naging malaking bahagi ka ng pagkatao ko
Sa kung ano ako ngayon ay kasama ka sa pagiging ako

Hindi biro ang ating naging pagsasama
Maraming luha at maraming ring tuwa
Maraming unos at maraming muling pagbangon
At sa lahat ng iyon ay nais kong muling lumingon

Nais kong sabay natin alalahanin
Alalahanin kung paanong minsan tayong nagkapiling
Kung paanong sa mga balika’t koy lumuluha ka
At mga sandaling sa mga bisig ko’y yakap ka

Di maiiwasang magkaalitan paminsan-minsan
Ngunit kung sa alitan mapapatibay ang ating pagkakaibigan
Hahayaan ko na lamang puso’y masaktan
Nang ang lamat mo kailanma’y di malimutan

Sa aking mga kasalanan nais kong humingi ng tawad
Tawad na kay tagal hinangad ng puso ko
At sa aking pag-alis ay nakatitiyak ako
Wala na akong sama ng loob sa iyo

Hangad kong ipagdasal mo ako
Na maging tapat sa aking bokasyon at sa diyos
Siyang ginusto kong paghandugan ng buo kong buhay
Buhay na sya rin ang sa iyo at sa aki’y nagbigay

Sa diyos ko utang ang lahat
Sa kung bakit kita mahal at nakasama ay dahil sa kanya
Siya na ang ating tagapamagitan mula ngayon
At sa aking mga dasal lagi kang naroroon

Salamat sa mga taon at pagkakataon
Salamat sa mga sandali at sa pananatili
Salamat sa pagtitiwala at sa di pagbaliwala
Laging hangad ng puso kong sa iba rin, ika’y maging biyaya

Friday, March 24, 2006

Ooops! Still Passing Through

You, yes you.
Still passing through?
Mahirap ba?
Okey lang yan. Kaya mo yan.
It's normal na malito.

Sana sa pagkalito,
May natututunan tayo.
Sana sa paghahanap,
May paglagong naipalalaganap.

You're in the context (or sana nasa context parin),
Do not worry, do not be afraid.
Take your time, wag magpapressure.
Do not let anyone bring you down.

You have an extraordinary gift,
A gift far beyond what the mind can think.
A present deeper than the heart can dig,
A world bigger, wider and greater than the ordinary.

Kaya congrats sa'yo!
Congrats, dahil pinili mo na.
Pinili mo nang maging totoo,
Pinili mong yakapin ang isang mundong nakahihigit sa'yo.

Lord, grant us
Eyes that longs to see the truth,
Ears that yearns to hear your call,
Lips that proclaims your glory,
Hands that are ready to help,
Feet that defies distance only to follow you,
That as we pass through this stage of adolecense, we may keep you in our company.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

The Goggles' Struggles

Life is equated to struggle.
You have yours, I have mine.

Different people, different struggles and different dreams.
I struggle to be good and to be holy.
But, pondering upon my struggle, I realized that:

I can only but try,
I can only but struggle, and
I can only but trust.

Try to achieve my dreams,
Struggle with my intentions, and
Trust only to my God.

How about you?
What's your struggle?

"We can only try. And when we reached our extent, then we've already fulfilled God's mission for us. Rest in God. Trust that he will continue our struggles. May God grant us his peace; a peace the world cannot give."

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Servant-leaders: Born for Greater Things

What does the word servant-leader speaks about? In grammar, this is a compound noun, a paradox particularly; two words joined as one so that another word may arise; a new word, a new identity and a new and better purpose.

A servant is defined as a person working in the service of another. It is also synonymous to the word “slave,” a person that is in obedience of another individual. A leader is distinct as the one who is in charge or in command of others. He may also be a guide and a director of his subject (the one under his authority).

It is quite paradoxical and unconvincing to see a word exists such as “servant-leader.” It contradicts the meaning and the purpose of both words. Well it’s already given. So believe because there is such term and such people! Or? Are there really such people? Hmmm?

Oh! I know one person, or may I say, “one who had become a person”. He is the pride of the human race, no one else but God himself trough Christ. Jesus is the perfect epitome of servant-leadership. And he says; "whoever would be greatest among you must be servant of all." Mk 10:43-44, understand that no one can surpass nor attain God’s servant-leadership, but we can always “Try.”

Are you in to be a servant-leader? Then you must learn how to serve, how to be a servant, how to be a person that submits to the will of God, how to be a man committed to his duty and how to be a man of great purpose. “For in great service comes great responsibility and in great responsibility comes a great leader.”

As the motto of the seminarians and bosconians in Don Bosco Canlubang goes, “Ad majore Natus” which means; born for greater things. Leaders of today, you are challenged to choose the better things for you are bearers of Christ’s example of perfect servant-leadership.

*To the newly elected student leaders of Don Bosco Mandaluyong, you are channels of God’s love for the young, you are born for greater things, may you choose the better things. God gave you the opportunity to serve your fellow youth, make him proud!

Monday, February 20, 2006

You are Mine

I will come to you in the silence,
I will lift you from all your fear.
You will hear my voice,
I claim you as my choice,
Be still and know I'm here.

Do not be afraid, I am with you.
I have called you each by name.
Come and follow me
I will bring you home;
I love you and you are mine.

I am hope for all who are hopeless,
I am eyes for all who-long to see.
In-the shadows of the night,
I will be your light,
Come and rest in me.

Do not be afraid, I am with you.
I have called you each by name.
Come and follow me
I will bring you home;
I love you and you are mine.

I am strength for all the despairing,
Healing for the ones who-dwell in shame
All the blind will see,
The lame will run-- free,
And all will know my name.

Do not be afraid, I am with you.
I have called you each by name.
Come and follow me
I will bring you home;
I love you and you are mine.

I am the Word that leads all to freedom,
I am the peace the world can't give.
I will call your name,
Embracing all your pain,
Stand up, now walk, and live!

Do not be afraid, I am with you.
I have called you each by name.
Come and follow me
I will bring you home;
I love you and you are mine.

Monday, February 13, 2006

It's Heart's Day

[This poem is dedicated to the people who inspired me for the whole year of 2005; those who stayed and those who left. Thank you.ü]

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Wish Granted

“If you wish you can make me clean.”

Just a reflection about this line; I was struck hearing this line from today’s gospel. It reminds me of forgiveness. If you were in the position of Jesus, what would you feel if a leper would say this to you? What would you feel when a friend that hurted you says this?

Everyone was given the talent to forgive. Use it. Just as we see our friends who hurted us, who betrayed us in the person of the leper saying, “If you wish, we can start all over again. If you wish, we can still be friends.” We can forgive only if we would be willing, only if we wish to do it.

In your heart, you can still clean the image of the people who hurted you; only if you wish.

God be with you.

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

A Friend, An Acquaintance

There is a difference between being an acquaintance and being a friend. An acquaintance is someone whose name you know, who you see every now and then, who you probably have something in common with and who you feel comfortable around.

It's a person that you can invite to your home and share things with. But they are people who you don't share your life with, whose actions sometimes you don't understand because you don't know enough about them.

On the other hand, a friend is someone you love. Not that you are "in love" with them, but you care about them and you think about them when they are not there. The people you are reminded of when you see something they might like, and you know this because you know them so well. They are the people whose pictures you have and whose faces are in your head regardless.

Friends are the people you feel safe around because you know they care about you. They call just to see how you are doing, because a friend doesn't need an excuse. They tell you the truth, the first time, and you do the same. You know that if you have a problem, they are there to listen.

Friends are the people who won't laugh at you or hurt you, and if they do hurt you they try hard to make it up to you. They are the people you love, regardless of whether you realize it.

Friends are the people you cried with when you got rejected from colleges and during the last song at the prom and at graduation. They are the people that when you hug them, you don't think about how long to hug and who's going to be the first one to let go.

Maybe they are the people that hold the rings at your wedding, or maybe they are the people who give you away at your wedding, or maybe they are the people you marry. Maybe they are the people who cry at your wedding because they are happy or because they are proud.

They are the people who stop you from making mistakes and help you when you do. They are are the people whose hand you can hold, or you can hug or give them a kiss and not have it be awkward because they understand the things you do and they love you for them.

They stick with you and stand by you. They hold your hand. They watch you live and you watch them live and you learn from them. Your life is not the same without them.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

For Love and In Love

It’s been seven months now since I had my orientation in the salesian seminary. Still I have this question in my mind that never stops asking. “Why are the chores in the seminary daily alike? Aren’t they tired of doing these things without ceasing? And philosophical about it, they’ll perform these acts for the rest of their lives…”

Whenever I would ask people about this one, they would often answer me: “Masaya kami sa ginagawa namin, bakit kami mapapagod?” And when I hear this statement, it just doesn’t fit! Still I cannot understand.

Later, I was thinking of how to get rid of this tiredness in my heart, the tire of loving and of giving. And from there, I remembered the joy and happiness in the seminarians’ daily chore. I tried to empathize in their position. Yes it was quite fulfilling but I kept on asking for a better response from God. Still, it’s a mystery that I cannot decode.

Reasoning on things, I arrived convincing myself that joy and happiness was never complete without love. God’s name was Love. Ill do it for Love and in Love, therefore we do it for God and in God. Yes! This is the answer that I was waiting for. haha

“It doesn’t matter how rigid or simple a chore was done. As long as great love was devoted to do it, it becomes the greatest vocation for man.”

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Never Ready, Never Worthy

Last night, I went to Kuya Gary's office. There, I had the opportunity to ask him questions that haunts me every night. "When will I be ready?" "Am I Worthy?" Those questions were followed with his simple and striking answers. "We shall never be READY, we can only be PREPARED." "We shall never be WORTHY, but we can TRY." These words pondered to my mind that moment while he was doing his work.

I was sinful, no doubts about it. I have done grave actions to offend God, yet I thought my charity would suffice the emptiness and hurt in my part. A hypocrite! That is what I am. I feel sorry for hiding myself to the people who are dear to me I was afraid that they won’t accept me for who I am. I was afraid to be rejected. Now, I realized that I can’t please everyone, but because of these rejections I realized that I am able to love myself. I will never attain such point wherein I’ll be ready and be worthy of him, only I can try and prepare.

There is so much to do in such a span of time. I hope it’s not too late to start again.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

A Blessed Year Ahead of Us

Isang taon na nanaman ng lumipas sa buhay ko. Isang taong punong-puno ng hamon, paghihirap, lungkot, pagpapakasakit, pagsasaya, pagpapakatotoo, pagpapakatao, paghahanap, pakikinig, pagiisip, pagsisilbi at pagmamahal, taon ng pinakamasasaya at pinakamalulungkot na araw ko sa hayskul, taon ng pinakamahihirap na pagsubok sa bokasyon ko ngaun, taon ng pagtanggap sa mga pagbabago sa sarili ko at sa iba, taong muntik na akong sumuko sa paghahanap, sa pakikinig at sa pagsunod sa kanya, taon ng pananatili. Isang makabuluhang taon sa buhay ko na tunay kong nalaman ang kahulugan ng pagpapakasakit at pagmamahal. Maraming nangyari at marami pang mangyayari.

Tapos na ang taong yaon. Salamat sa mga taong nakiramay, nakitawa, nakilakbay at nakidasal sa loob ng isang taon. Sa mga taong di ko malilimutan sa taong ito,

Dayzers: Salamat sa growth experiences na kasama kayo. Ngunit hindi nananatili sa Days ang lahat. Kailangan din nating maghanap ng ibang growth sa ibang bagay na patuloy na hinahangad ng puso natin. Salamat, tinuruan nyo akong tingnan ang Diyos sa mas simple at masmalinaw na paraan sa pamamagitan ng module ng DWTL.

AJ, Luis and Kate: Salamat sa mga simpleng gimmick natin at get together, sa mga kwentuhan at sharings, sa pagtitiwala ng mga bagay-bagay sa akin.

Mikky at Melvin: Salamat sa mga simpleng trip natin. Sa pagpapakatotoo, at pagiging tunay na kaibigan. Ang pagiging simple ang pundasyon ng pagkakaibigang ito. Manatili kayong ganyan.

Jesser, Rupert, Reevan at Mam Eryan: Salamat sa mga pinagsamahan natin sa trabaho. Higit pa dun, tinuruan nyo akong tingnan sa masmalawak na kahulugan ng pagiging isang lider. Tinuran nyo akong mahalin ang mga kabataan sa pamamagitan ng aking tungkulin.

Jay, Imman, Cholo at Jhed: G3, tinuruan nyo akong hindi mag-isa at tingnan ang bagay sa pananaw ng kabataan.

JM: Malayo man, malapit din! Salamat sa pagdamay, pakikinig at paghilom.

Rex at Igy: saLAMAT. Tinuruan nyo akong bumalik sa at mahalin rin ang sarili ko

Kuya Gary: Salamat sa pagiging isang kabarkada, kaibigan, kuya at ama. Tinuruan mo akong tumingin sa mga bagay na di ko pinapansin at marahil ay di gustong makita noon.

Sa Diyos: Salamat sa mga pagsubok, pasakit, tuwa, galak at sa iba’t ibang mga nangyari sa akin na kasama ka. Sa aking kahinaan, tinuruan mo akong manatili, makinig at sumunod sa iyo. Inaasahan ko pa ang mahaba nating paglalakbay na magkasama turuan mo akong magtiwala sa iyo ng walang pagaalinlangan. Salamat.

Gawin nating puno ng mas masasaya at puno ng paglago ang taon ito. Sana nandyan ka parin para sa akin, at ako sa iyo. Sana ay may bahagi ng sarili ko ang naibahagi ko sa iyo ngayong taon. Nawa ay marami pa tayong gawing alaala na magkasama. Samahan mo akong maging panatag sa mga susunod na buwan. Ipagdasal mo ang aking bokasyon. Upang maging karapat dapat ang sarili ko para sa kagustuhan ng Diyos sa buhay ko. Salamat sa iyo na naging bahagi ko.ü