Monday, June 19, 2006

Once It's Gone, It's Gone

It’s my third week in the seminary, enjoying my studies, works and prayers. But actually, I am really disturbed by what is happening to some people that I left in Manila; some people very close to my heart.

Every morning, and I mean every morning, during my morning meditation in our lauds, I never forget to pray for them.

Actually I am just thinking of one very special person right now, and he was even in my dreams during the past nights of my sleep. I regularly pray for him during the past year when we were not seeing each other. He was a very big help in my vocation, because of him, I learned to accept things that are far beyond my control.

Although I never knew the reason why he left, I kept on believing in him, that he left for a better reason; a reason that would benefit both of us. And I think, this is one sweet fruit of his intention; my vocation was confirmed and I finally dared to answer God’s call.

The night before I would enter the seminary, I wanted to talk to him even for the last time. To settle things that had happened before, to close issues that should be closed, and to thank him for many things, for everything, but for some reasons I’m still afraid that he would refuse to talk to me.

It’s been a year since the crisis in my vocation happened yet everything is still fresh to my mind. I think one year is enough to wait for something that I expect to come, but now I feel discouraged that things won’t be happening the way I expect them to be.

Bro. Noel gave us a sermon last night in the study hall about the proper use of time. The time lost cannot be brought back, even if you make up for it; you’re making up for it at the present. “Once it’s lost, it’s lost.”

Maybe it’s enough. One year is one year, and it’s time to move on and leave the past to the past. Now, I’m leaving everything to that special friend. I don’t want to be unfair to the God to whom I chose to serve, to love and to give my whole life. But rest assured that he is always in my prayers.

Sweet Goodbye,

Kuya

10 comments:

isang.kaibigan said...

I do believe with what you said the once time's lost, it's lost. This is the reason why time is very precious for me. I don't know what will happen next that's why I'm cherishing every minute He is giving me. Anyway, it's a good thing that he remains to be special eventhough it's still disturbing you. I really salute you for being a true friend who can accept all the flaws that could even hurt you so badly. Please don't be disturbed. God has His own reasons for allowing this to happen. Concentrate more on your chosen vocation. Many people are praying for you and I know you really appreciate those. Sana di ka na nalulungkot dyan kasi nalulungkot din ako kapag nakikita kitang nagkakaganyan. Im always here my friend. I will always be isang.kaibigan. Basta Ikaw! Ingat ka dyan lagi. Jess bless. You are always in my prayers!!! That's the last thing I can do for you...

Ganda said...

bagong lugar
bagong tahanan
mga bagong kaibigan
bagong simula


you're always in my prayers daddy...
i miss you too...

gaiL said...

always praying for you Ron...

JM Tuazon said...

It pains me to see you suffering because of him and now I'm happy that at least, you've decided to leave the past where it belongs.

Aja!

isang.kaibigan said...

Sa bawa't sandali ng aking buhay, Ikaw ang Siyang gabay...
Sa oras ng lungkot pagkabigo, ako'y muling binubuo...
Luha ko't pasakit ay Iyong pinaparam...
Sa paglubog nitong araw, sa pagsapit ng dilim, ang tangi kong hiling ay humimlay sa Iyong piling...

Share ko lang yung nagiging favorite song ko ngayon... Ang ganda kasi ng message lalo na yung huling linya... Sana makatulong ito para maging masaya ka... Nandyan lang Siya lagi para sayo! Hangad ko lang ay iyong kaligayahan kaibigan.Ü

Ron Evangelista said...

i know the song.
and it reminds me of my last year in don bosco mandaluyong.
and it's a song about vocation.

i heard na nagwowory ka daw sakin. wag melvin. IM HAPPY. i was just disturbed nung past week. pero generally, im fine. salamat sa mga dasal.

isang.kaibigan said...

who's melvin?hey im isang.kaibigan. don't get me wrong with others. well, my existence will always be a mystery. What can i say? Have fun! TGIF!Ü

rina said...

kuya, kamusta ka naman? hehe.. ngayon lang ako nakabisita dito.. miss na kita!:) ingat ka lagi jan ah? :) oklang kami dito... wag ka magalala samin..:) ok kami..lagi ka rin kasama sa prayers ko..hehe.. ang drama naman.. ayokonito..hehe.. cge..ingat ha?. love u kuya! :)

Belette said...

nabasa ko na ang post mo bago ka pa nagtag.. kaso bakit hindi puwedeng dun magcomment? anyway, kung puwede lang talaga kitang dalawin sa sunday... kung puwede lang talaga, gagawin ko...

peli said...

hi ron! lalng! >_<