Sunday, September 27, 2009

Storms of Life

Among those marks he left deeply were floods all over the land, stranded civilians in different work places and homes, abandoned cars afloat the hi-ways and streets, destroyed infrastructures costing a hundred billions and still counting, and a death toll of at least less than a hundred victims who at the last moments of their lives surely tried to struggle, hold on, and live, but even the desire for life didn’t actually even matter at all in the end. Ondoy was surely a storm not only of this earth, but of life itself.
That time, I felt so helpless, but to plunge in helplessness was never an option. People who mean so much, something, and everything to me were all in Manila and I had no means of knowing how exactly they were and if they shall overcome. I really tried to be strong. I prayed harder than ever since that was the best thing I could do and to be trusting - that all shall be well - was the best I could be. A series of cups of coffee, - one after another kept me in company until I was sure that they were safe before I could go to sleep. That time, I knew what loneliness meant.
I wished I was a superhero so I can fly and have super powers to secure my loved ones in a safer place. But I couldn’t and won’t ever be. Like a dear friend of mine who messaged me, “I wanted to save all of them but I couldn’t even save one,” I also desired this. But then I realized that I have saved one for the longest time – me. That if I save myself then I save all the possibilities that is me, and to lose it is to lose all that I can be. I guess, I, and even those people who may relate to how i feel fear to lose those whom we love, not merely because we will be left alone and won’t be able to receive love we so long for every moment, but maybe really because we will never get to give our love, our service, and our all to them anymore. This is the greatest tragedy that any storm of this land and of this life could ever leave us with; that we will never be able to know how immortally good we are made of and how strong we are capable to share and to give more of ourselves in our lifetime.

The storms of life may shake our ground, but a greater peace still dwells in our heart. Fear no harm for we are ruled by a far greater love.