Look to Your Heart

“Ron, don’t look at people, they’re bound to disappoint you.” Thank you for this Donnie. I remember him whenever I feel that the world hates me because of some people whom I have not yet learned to accept. While it’s a fact that differences exist in a community, I think respect for each other should always be above the rest of our individual issues. It might sound dysfunctional not to talk about such things while in the heat of an emotional expression, but I think doing so would be prudent and mature. People are animate being, each has his own purpose. It would be objective to examine the self rather than look outside and see nothing true to what the mind senses.

Panatang Manatili

Dahil pag-ibig ang alay sa ‘yo, mananatili ako.
H’wag nang naising tayo’y mawalay,
H’wag nang isiping
Magwawakas ang paglalakbay.

This is one of the stanzas of “Pananatili,” my "panatang manatili".

One moral I’ve learned in all my coming and going, to and from the hearts of the people whom I’ve touched and have loved dearly is that, they are some choices that I’ve made; the choice to love them and be part of them.

I believe that the seminary walls are not high barracks which distinct the world of the holy and that of the unworthy, but rather bridges where we meet truth and vessels where God’s grace towards our hearts is realized.

Dahil nga pag-ibig ang alay ko sa’yo, ano pa man, saan man, kailan man, nand’yan lang ako sa puso mo, nananatili. – I can’t explain how love remains even if the corpus is not seen, contact for a long time has gone, and memories have put beneath the reach of mind. You never stop loving someone you’ve loved. Love endures.

H’wag nang naising tayo’y mawalay, h’wag nang isiping magwawakas ang paglalakbay. – For your life and mine is a journey, and if ever catastrophe comes to our way, look inside your heart, there you’ll see that love never tires. Continue the journey.

Measuring God's Grace

Some months ago, I read a compilation of homilies by some famous Jesuit fathers in the country. One of the authors is a prominent priest of the society. He tells about an incident when he was still a young seminarian who’ll in just a matter of months become a young Jesuit. There was a point when he felt discouraged. He came to his spiritual friend. Upon listening to him for quite sometime, the priest said, “Why don’t you try giving without counting the cost?” This perhaps would be an ideal thing to talk about, but I think many people have come to the realization of this statement so far.

My soul is restless these days while thinking about the priest’s advise. I’ve been preoccupied with much reflection about many things. One thing would be about measuring God’s graciousness. I think God is so good that he’d still forgive and love me even if I continually live sinful everyday, I mean to the extreme point of repenting insincere during the sacrament of confession. Sounds a weird idea right? The possibility of deceiving priests during the sacrament may be realized by some people today, but we don’t fool God when we try to deceive Him, He knows it anyway. Then the next thing to do would be fooling themselves. Being mesmerized by God’s graciousness would be something really good to experience and think about. Though understanding it fully wouldn’t be humane, and making it a basis for justifying our jealousy and pride to God would be insane, man expresses His possessing nature by making himself in the level of anyone; even of his own Creator. In short, man tries to limits God by comparing Him to himself.

In the end, I come to the recurring reminder that surrendering and trusting God’s grace would always be a prudent act when such crisis comes, and the story of the Jesuit father would always remind me that embracing a world greater than your own would remain possible when you don't count the cost.

Si Nanay... Naghihintay

Doon nga sa bahay
Si nanay naghihintay
Sulo nya’y buhay

Huwag Kang Matakot

Eraserheads

Huwag kang matakot
'Di mo ba alam nandito lang ako
Sa iyong tabi
'Di kita pababayaan kailan man
At kung ikaw ay mahulog sa bangin
Ay sasaluhin kita

Huwag kang matakot na matulog mag-isa
Kasama mo naman ako
Huwag kang matakot na umibig at lumuha
Kasama mo naman ako
Huwag kang matakot

Huwag kang matakot
Dahil ang buhay mo'y walang katapusan
Makapangyarihan ang pag-ibig
Na hawak mo sa iyong kamay
Ikaw ang Diyos at hari ng iyong mundo
Matakot sila sa 'yo

Huwag kang matakot na matulog mag-isa
Kasama mo naman ako
Huwag kang matakot na umibig at lumuha
Kasama mo naman ako
Huwag kang matakot na magmukhang tanga
Kasama mo naman ako
Huwag kang matakot sa hindi mo pa makita
Kasama mo naman ako
Huwag kang matakot

Huwag kang matakot na matulog mag-isa
Kasama mo naman ako
Huwag kang matakot na umibig at lumuha
Kasama mo naman ako
Huwag kang matakot

Huwag kang matakot
'Di kita pababayaan kailan man


Napakaganda ng pahiwatig ng awit na ito sa aking buhay at bokasyon ngayon. Marahil, ito rin ang nais ipagbigay-alam ng Diyos sa sinumang nagnanais na sumunod sa kanya. "Huwag kang matakot, 'di kita pababayaan, nandito lang ako."

Psalm 84

How lovely is Your dwelling place
O, Lord, mighty God, Lord of all.

Even the lowly sparrow finds a home for her brood,
and the swallow, a nest for herself
where she may lay her young
in Your altars, my King and my God.

Blessed are they whose dwelling is Your own, Lord of peace.
Blest are they refreshed by springs and by rain
when dryness daunts and scathes.
Behold my Shield, my King and my God.

I would forsake a thousand other days anywhere
if I could spend one day in Your courts,
belong to You alone.
My strength are You alone,
my Glory, my King and my God.

How lovely, Your dwelling place
O, Lord, mighty God, Lord of all.

This was a hit responsorial psalm during my stay in Don Bosco Mandaluyong. Memories of my last years in high school revolved in this song. And perhaps if people would be asked on what song they remember me, this would be it. I have sung this psalm many times during our masses, and every time I would sing it, it is as if it would be the only opportunity to sing it, and so I would sing it with all my being. My friend Igy loved it when I would sing this before, I don't know if he'll still love to hear me sing this after some years that had passed, and actually if I were to choose our friendship song, this would be my pick; the song that witnessed the story of our friendship. Igy, this is for you.

Incidents Not Accidents

When God creates, His creation is realized by his outpouring love; and we came about because there is a God who has always shared his extra Godly love. Though identified as the highest form of creation, we benefit from the truth that we share His extras brought about by His own being, which makes us truly little less than a god. And I guess, this realization should broaden our perspective on how we are to live the gift of life, that since we are mere extras made into being, we are also to choose to share, love and live life by and through the same love that we’re.

The God You're

Let me love my God through my heart
The heart that was made before His
His image and likeness eternal

Eternal is his Love
The Love that is, was, and will
Boundless it is, penetrating reality

Reality of my life
The love of God exists
Exists in being

Being is a perfect gift
Gift that is from perfection
Perfection that is God

God You’re

You are My Everything

“…You hold on to me tight that I may keep the fight
To love you more and all the more each day”

I was really struck by these end lines of “You are My Everything.” It has just been played during our benediction service awhile ago led me to a recurring realization about God’s love for us; that God is with us in our fight against our human inclinations, if only we would hold on and keep the faith, winning would be inevitable.

Towards Perfect Happiness

Man is on a continual journey towards his daily goal: to be happy. While we think that we experience happiness in our lives, we might have asked this at least once, “Am I happy enough?”

Perfect happiness is a yearning of the heart. Though it’s not a reality of this world, the possibility of happiness being sought and found exists. While the world tells us that every moment of happiness has its price, and had to be bought to acquire the ever-longed experience of happiness, we find ourselves with lots of created needs but never satisfied happiness.

The heart’s longings were made not to frustrate man, but to encourage him to seek greater things which a created matter such as the world cannot offer. As the reality of the world tells us that every created being has a time to expire, we cannot but seek for happiness from something or someone who doesn’t expire: God.

Let us seek the Perfect Happiness with great enthusiasm and hope.

Perfecting Perfection

God is perfect, and since He's perfect, the reason why he must be doing anything must also be for something perfect: Himself. Otherwise, He contradicts Himself in settling for reasons less than perfection.

We might be often caught unaware of this fact, but the other side of our humanity tells us that since we are made from God’s perfection, there would be no higher purpose for doing but also for perfection who is God.

The great picture shows us that God created everything for the progression of His perfection. His creation adds nothing to Himself. It doesn’t make Him any lesser or any better, for the lone fact that He’s God. Since there is nothing and no one more deserving to accept God’s will than Perfection Himself, God doesn’t create because he is egotistic.

Never Too Good

Some people have this tendency to be labeled as “too good to be true.” Though it might seem unbecoming to be truly good these days, let us look at the other side of the coin that tells us that the basis of the same statement is rooted in man’s journey towards himself.

How can there be something too good if goodness itself is already perfect? Goodness that comes from Perfection, who is God, cannot but be perfect in its nature.

I just got reminded of this truth. We are good. We’ll always be good. Nothing can put us away from our very nature since everything is from Perfection. Not even the choices we make would separate us from God, but as we realize God’s goodness let us also be reminded that our existence would always be for God’s progressing perfection and glory.

It doesn’t imply that God’s creation was made for His leisure, but the other side of the story tells us that we are in, with, and for his Perfection.

†Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam et Salutatem Animarum

Who Writes?

At the moment, people (seminarians) here who own blogs have similar entries sharing different viewpoints on the philosophy of writing. It’s a requirement in their subject, and when you see their pieces, all of them bound to answer this question: “why do I write?”

From there, I have also started to justify personal answers to the same question. So, where do you think should I draw them? As I write this article, I am trying to picture a writer when he writes. As a skill, he writes for discovery, comprehension and integration of what the mind knows and what it would want to express. Otherwise, the art of writing gives him a sense of fulfillment and liberty. Most of the time, he writes because he just feels like writing. His writing lives in him and he in his writing.

When I write, the motive of writing mirrors the product of my work, thus I become my own piece.

Soar High Under

Born for Greater Things! This has been the cry of Don Bosco Canlubang for the past years of its existence while it is still vital challenge to everyone up to the time-being.

But how does someone become great in the eyes of his lauder? Perhaps a good number of people here have their idols or people whom they look up to. It might also be said that they have this binding commonality which moves them to laud and acknowledge the influence of his power. If this factor truly exists then what is it?

I often process the feeling of being envious to people who project themselves to the public as superheroes who feel that they are indispensable in the eyes of the people they meet as they try to save the world while their motives suffer in the unprocessed part of their being. But possibly, this phenomenon was never cited in the viewpoint of a lauder.

I am a lauder myself. I also have idols. I have my definition on how I should deal with them. I am a part of my question. I also have in me that binding force from which we lauders are unconscious. If I may identify my issue, let me say that it is our desire to be like them that makes us a wanderer. Though the existing truth is, we would not just want to be like them, but as we identify, we corrupt and yield ourselves to the same identity thus, we become – them.

Probably, “born for greater things” imply that the moment we were formed in the womb accompanies us in the reality towards our great being. Nevertheless greatness doesn’t stop there. As we progress through the years, it becomes clear to us that there is more in being the great person for it was already a given, and it is from there that our call to higher things comes to realization. We are great in our nature, and it is in that same nature that we would desire to be more. But the call towards surpassing this given nature challenges us not to desire higher but to dig deeper in the discovery of ourselves; self-mastery.

“If it dies, it bears much fruit.” - Jn 12:24 Let me die in my greatness and my desires of reaching the blue sky that my person may long for his deeper reason, and in digging deep I may grow and bear much fruit, better than before.

Buhay-kandila

Ang mitsa ay ang pagsilang
Pagkamulat sa mundong patunaw
Umaagos ang init at pusok
Sa dulo'y hupang nagbabanta
Sa ilaw ay buhay
Sa simoy ay kamatayan
Sinasaklaw ang pangkalahatan
Nauupos sa pagkadakila
Sa liwanag ay dilim
Taglay ng sindi'y banta
Payak na't di lalaon
Nakadapang tila pasuko
Patunaw at pakalat
Pinapatay ang sarili ng kusa
Masdan ang buhay-kandila
Ikaw

Buksan

Pinhid ng pintuan, mistulang dingding,
Walang sinuma ang maaring tanggapin.

Anong pumipigil? Anong nagbabawal?
Sa sariling mundo'y ba't di ka lumaya?

Buksan ang 'yong mga mata kahit may luha.
Mamahalin parin kita. Tutulungang Lumaya

Ang basong may tubig lagyan mong muli.
Aapaw dahil wala nang silid.
Ang pusong may galit, di maaring umibig.
Bulag sa wasto, alipin ng isip.

Buksan ang 'yong mga mata kahit may luha.
Mamahalin parin kita. Tutulungang Lumaya.

... siguro kung kaya kong bumalik, pipiliin ko paring pumasok sa seminaryo. Doon kung saan nabuksan ang pintuang mistulang pader sa kapal at bigat. Doon kung saan pinapalaya't hinihiom ang puso. Doon na ang baso ng pag-ibig ay ang puso; bottomless! Siguro nga'y nakapiring ang mga mata ko noon, walang buhay na maaninaw. Ngunit di nangahulugang, di ko kayang piliing nakapiring at pikit-matang itaya ang pangarap at buhay ko sa pagkasalesyanong seminarista. Sinong mag-aalis ng piring? Hindi ko alam. Tanging batid ko'y nakagapos din pala ang aking mga kamay. Nakayapos sa Iyo Panginoon.

Inside the Heart of A True Friend

*Dedicated to my good friend Mikky Manaligod as he owns his retreat on March 10, 2007. Thanks for being loyal and true.

I do not feel the need to send you this letter,

Yet I write letting the thoughts

And the spirit of those thoughts crawl from my heart

Toward my hands

And type all the words needed to write this letter.

And so I write without any reason at all.

For all those reasons

Are already with you and within you;

Inside the heart of a true friend.

Keep those values that we’ve learned through you.

Keep those memories that we’ve made true.

Keep them where they can only exist;

In the heart of a true friend;

Truth.

The past nor the future does not exist.

Believe me they don’t.

But only does the present.

How do we look back to nothingness

And look forward to a dream?

They only exist in the plane

And so look at your heart.

Your heart where nothingness is defied

And dreams come true.

Exist.

Carry One

New year never means going back to zero and start again. It means carrying over, carrying on, and being responsible of the past so that you can move on, hopeful for the future.

A blessed year ahead!

Tayo na Pinili Natin

Pinipili daw ang kaibigan
Kaibigang pagpupunlaan ng tiwala
Tiwalang sasandiganan ng pagkakaibigan
Pagkakaibigang walang hanggan

Nasaan ka na ngayon
Ngayon na hindi kaylanman
Kaylanman magiging kahapon
Kahapong gaya ng bukas

Nagkulang ba tayo
Tayo sa isa’t-isa
Isa’t-isang hindi tayo
Tayong di ikaw ni ako

Batid ng puso ko ang ikaw
Ikaw na di nagkulang
Nagkulang sa paggiging kaibigan
Kaibigang maaasahan

Ngunit bakit ganito
Ganito ang ngayon
Na di na gaya ng dati
Dati maging nang bukas

Walang sagot sa mundo
Mundong mapaglaro’t mapanglito
Mapanglitong manggagaling sa’yo
Sa’yo ang isasagot ng mundo

Kung ang mundo ay walang sagot
Sagot na hanap sa’yo
Sa’yo na tanging totoo
Totoo at ikaw ang aantayin ko


Para sa iyo Totoong Kaibigan

Panibagong Pasko

Pasko na naman.
Unang pasko ko na seminarista ako.
Bakit tila kakaiba ang pasko?
Baka naninibago lang ako.

Masaya ba o malungkot?
Excited ba o matamlay?
Payapa ba o Magulo?
Baka naninibago lang ako.

Ngunit hindi nga ba?
Hindi nga ba ito ang hatid ng pasko?
Ang paninibago.
Ang pababago sa puso ko.

Panahong bago ang lahat.
Napawi ang bawat kalungkutan pati saya.
Nabura pagkatamlay at pagkabigahani.
Bagong muli ang lahat sa Kanya.

Bagong muli ang lahat.
Nang dahil sa Kanya.
Sa pamamagitan Nya.
Sa pagsilang Nya.


"See I make all things new." These were the words of Jesus as he carries the cross to Calvary. As we celebrate this event of Christ renewing our lives ones again, may we live life looking through the renewed eyes of faith, hope, and love.

Mapagpanibagong Pasko sa ating lahat.