Some months ago, I read a compilation of homilies by some famous Jesuit fathers in the country. One of the authors is a prominent priest of the society. He tells about an incident when he was still a young seminarian who’ll in just a matter of months become a young Jesuit. There was a point when he felt discouraged. He came to his spiritual friend. Upon listening to him for quite sometime, the priest said, “Why don’t you try giving without counting the cost?” This perhaps would be an ideal thing to talk about, but I think many people have come to the realization of this statement so far.
My soul is restless these days while thinking about the priest’s advise. I’ve been preoccupied with much reflection about many things. One thing would be about measuring God’s graciousness. I think God is so good that he’d still forgive and love me even if I continually live sinful everyday, I mean to the extreme point of repenting insincere during the sacrament of confession. Sounds a weird idea right? The possibility of deceiving priests during the sacrament may be realized by some people today, but we don’t fool God when we try to deceive Him, He knows it anyway. Then the next thing to do would be fooling themselves. Being mesmerized by God’s graciousness would be something really good to experience and think about. Though understanding it fully wouldn’t be humane, and making it a basis for justifying our jealousy and pride to God would be insane, man expresses His possessing nature by making himself in the level of anyone; even of his own Creator. In short, man tries to limits God by comparing Him to himself.
In the end, I come to the recurring reminder that surrendering and trusting God’s grace would always be a prudent act when such crisis comes, and the story of the Jesuit father would always remind me that embracing a world greater than your own would remain possible when you don't count the cost.