Falling in Love

“Not only that I love you, but I am in love with you, and I am calling you, inspite of you.” This was the message that was revealed to me by the Lord during our retreat in Batulao on October 17 to 20. It just came to me, and I believed He was there, with me.

God is a personal God. He is my God. More often than not do I veer away from Him, for I always feel that God is too good to be true for me; a reality far away from what I live in. That retreat, my “Ora Decima”, a moment so near to my Lord, told me a different story about God’s love. His love is far greater than what we can imagine, perhaps a greater logic than excruciating sacrifice and suffering. God’s love is always more than anything else we could perhaps understand. It is more compassionate, more forgiving, more persevering, and He loves us all the more to the point of going so deep in His relationship to us; to the point of falling in love with us. And so join me to offer this prayer wrapped in a song, I Beg to Fall in Love with Thee. Let this be our prayer, our response to the God of love, to the God who falls in love with us.

I beg to fall in love with Thee, my Lord with every breath of life I take. I beg to fall in love with Thee, my Lord, its every beat, I to Thee forsake.

For even if my thoughts fall short of knowing You, and even if my will runs terrified, Your passion thins the darkness of my soul, shed it light, breaths it life, stills the murmur of the night.

I beg to fall in love with Thee, my Lord with every breath of life I take. I beg to fall in love with Thee, my Lord, its every beat, I to Thee forsake.

For even if my heart falls short of loving You, and even if my spirit hides away, Your love for me surpasses all my fears, all I do, all I am, all that I can ever be.

I beg to fall in love with Thee, my Lord with every breath of life I take. I beg to fall in love with Thee, my Lord, its every beat, I to Thee forsake.

I was just reaffirmed that God could still call me and embrace me despite everything that I had done in the past; my infidelity, my despair, my selfishness. I still ask the same questions since I entered the seminary, “God are you really calling me here, to this life?” or at times of despair, “Lord, are you still calling me? There were many answers, all of them centered towards the revelation of His love to me, but this past retreat was quite different from the past love notes we sent for each other. It was a humble God whom I encountered those days. His answer was, “YES. I am calling, you inspite of you.” I wept and recalled the times when I was so broken and was healed by God. There were many instances that God did the patching and stitching of my wounded heart, but still I was skeptic about the call. In the middle of the retreat did I realize that the greatest proof that God really really loves me was when he gave me the gift and the desire to persevere in my vocation. I thought that it was more than enough, and was something that will keep me go through the difficult road ahead of me.

May God bless us more and more.