Thursday, October 27, 2005

Only in Heaven We Rest

"Sometimes we must be tired, exhausted, overwhelm by some discomfort. However, let us take courage: up in heaven we shall rest forever."

October 15, 2005 in Don Bosco Technical College at around 8:30pm I had this so called Anxiety Attack.

I was rushed to the emergency room of Lourdes Hospital using the car of Luis. The whole upper half of my body was numb and was very cold. I was open about what will happen next to me.

Sa emergency room, I was asked kung meron akong nakasamaan ng loob, kung nalungkot ba ako, umiyak and kung anu-ano pa tungkol sa emotions. I told the nurse na nagconfess ako before mangyari sakin un. Oo, umiyak ako dahil binuhos ko sa confession ung nararamdaman ko for the past months.

Bawal daw sakin ang magisip, ang mastress, ang malungkot at ang sumama ang loob. Magttrigger yung attack anytime since I can't take any medicine dahil baka hindi ko pa kayanin ung gamot.

Im sorry dun sa mga taong nasasaktan ko... I feel kasi na Im so unfair sa inyo. Unfair dahil madami akong iniisip na tao, bagay, trabaho atbp. Pero hindi ko magawang maisip ang sarili ko. Hindi ko nga ba alam, ang nasa isip ko, sa bawat situation, ibang tao muna bago ako.

May mga tao akong magpahangga ngayon ay iniisip. Kumusta na kaya sila. Wala akong magawa kundi ang ipagdasal at magtiwala kay Jess na okey sila. Higit sa pagiging okey, masaya sila. Hindi ko na kasi sila nakakausap sa mga bagay-bagay. Hindi na tulad ng dating malapit ang loob nila sakin. Hindi na tulad dati na naipaparamdam ko na mahal ko sila. Pero hindi lumilipas ang araw na hindi sumasagi sa isip ko ang kalagayan nila. I've done my part as a friend... higit pa dun... isang kuya. Sabi nga namin ni Jesser nung mga nakaraang araw, "In God's Time" magiging maayos din ang lahat. Im keeping his promise. I have faith in him that everything will be fine.

Malapit na ang DAYS. Excited na ako. Kailangan kong magpalakas para harapin ang mga susunod na hamon ni Jess.

"Man was born to work, and only the one who works with love and constancy finds the burden light."

6 comments:

you-know-who said...

buti alam mong unfair ka... hehe... joke lang... =D

just do your thing.. but make sure na naaalagaan mo naman yung sarili mo...

i salute you daddy-o... isa kang dakilang alagad ng Diyos! =)

oist said...

Natxt ko na sayo ung message ko.. hayy.. Kuya Ron.. alagaan mo naman ung sarili mo okie? Dito lang me palagi for you.

Your such a gud friend... I'm blessed having you..
UMMUAH

Anonymous said...
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light blue said...

you know it's just a sign that you have to stop and look for yourself. maybe you're so busy caring for everyone that in turn you tend to neglect and disregard your ownself. may God just slip a note before you that you have "RON" to take care of.

work is a law of life but sometimes we really have to pause for a while, take a tea or two and go back to work. don't forget about yourself.

Anonymous said...

just an insight. how can you pursue your desire to help others without helping youself first, right? =)

take some time out of your busy life for yourself. i dont think God would punish you for it. and it's not being selfish. you're just giving youself what's due you. =)

Agnes said...

ron...God's will be done. whatever happens, nandito kaming lahat. your entry sounds kase na yung part na open kna sa mangyayari sayo..medyo natakot ako! hey,im looking forward sa mahaba-habang tawanan pa natin! yung ang namimiss ko sayo..the first time i met you sa coffee shop..i'm missing it and still looking forward sa next bonding!!! aryt! alagaan mo yang sarili mo..i'll pray for you..yngats!