Buhay-kandila

Ang mitsa ay ang pagsilang
Pagkamulat sa mundong patunaw
Umaagos ang init at pusok
Sa dulo'y hupang nagbabanta
Sa ilaw ay buhay
Sa simoy ay kamatayan
Sinasaklaw ang pangkalahatan
Nauupos sa pagkadakila
Sa liwanag ay dilim
Taglay ng sindi'y banta
Payak na't di lalaon
Nakadapang tila pasuko
Patunaw at pakalat
Pinapatay ang sarili ng kusa
Masdan ang buhay-kandila
Ikaw

Buksan

Pinhid ng pintuan, mistulang dingding,
Walang sinuma ang maaring tanggapin.

Anong pumipigil? Anong nagbabawal?
Sa sariling mundo'y ba't di ka lumaya?

Buksan ang 'yong mga mata kahit may luha.
Mamahalin parin kita. Tutulungang Lumaya

Ang basong may tubig lagyan mong muli.
Aapaw dahil wala nang silid.
Ang pusong may galit, di maaring umibig.
Bulag sa wasto, alipin ng isip.

Buksan ang 'yong mga mata kahit may luha.
Mamahalin parin kita. Tutulungang Lumaya.

... siguro kung kaya kong bumalik, pipiliin ko paring pumasok sa seminaryo. Doon kung saan nabuksan ang pintuang mistulang pader sa kapal at bigat. Doon kung saan pinapalaya't hinihiom ang puso. Doon na ang baso ng pag-ibig ay ang puso; bottomless! Siguro nga'y nakapiring ang mga mata ko noon, walang buhay na maaninaw. Ngunit di nangahulugang, di ko kayang piliing nakapiring at pikit-matang itaya ang pangarap at buhay ko sa pagkasalesyanong seminarista. Sinong mag-aalis ng piring? Hindi ko alam. Tanging batid ko'y nakagapos din pala ang aking mga kamay. Nakayapos sa Iyo Panginoon.

Inside the Heart of A True Friend

*Dedicated to my good friend Mikky Manaligod as he owns his retreat on March 10, 2007. Thanks for being loyal and true.

I do not feel the need to send you this letter,

Yet I write letting the thoughts

And the spirit of those thoughts crawl from my heart

Toward my hands

And type all the words needed to write this letter.

And so I write without any reason at all.

For all those reasons

Are already with you and within you;

Inside the heart of a true friend.

Keep those values that we’ve learned through you.

Keep those memories that we’ve made true.

Keep them where they can only exist;

In the heart of a true friend;

Truth.

The past nor the future does not exist.

Believe me they don’t.

But only does the present.

How do we look back to nothingness

And look forward to a dream?

They only exist in the plane

And so look at your heart.

Your heart where nothingness is defied

And dreams come true.

Exist.

Carry One

New year never means going back to zero and start again. It means carrying over, carrying on, and being responsible of the past so that you can move on, hopeful for the future.

A blessed year ahead!

Tayo na Pinili Natin

Pinipili daw ang kaibigan
Kaibigang pagpupunlaan ng tiwala
Tiwalang sasandiganan ng pagkakaibigan
Pagkakaibigang walang hanggan

Nasaan ka na ngayon
Ngayon na hindi kaylanman
Kaylanman magiging kahapon
Kahapong gaya ng bukas

Nagkulang ba tayo
Tayo sa isa’t-isa
Isa’t-isang hindi tayo
Tayong di ikaw ni ako

Batid ng puso ko ang ikaw
Ikaw na di nagkulang
Nagkulang sa paggiging kaibigan
Kaibigang maaasahan

Ngunit bakit ganito
Ganito ang ngayon
Na di na gaya ng dati
Dati maging nang bukas

Walang sagot sa mundo
Mundong mapaglaro’t mapanglito
Mapanglitong manggagaling sa’yo
Sa’yo ang isasagot ng mundo

Kung ang mundo ay walang sagot
Sagot na hanap sa’yo
Sa’yo na tanging totoo
Totoo at ikaw ang aantayin ko


Para sa iyo Totoong Kaibigan

Panibagong Pasko

Pasko na naman.
Unang pasko ko na seminarista ako.
Bakit tila kakaiba ang pasko?
Baka naninibago lang ako.

Masaya ba o malungkot?
Excited ba o matamlay?
Payapa ba o Magulo?
Baka naninibago lang ako.

Ngunit hindi nga ba?
Hindi nga ba ito ang hatid ng pasko?
Ang paninibago.
Ang pababago sa puso ko.

Panahong bago ang lahat.
Napawi ang bawat kalungkutan pati saya.
Nabura pagkatamlay at pagkabigahani.
Bagong muli ang lahat sa Kanya.

Bagong muli ang lahat.
Nang dahil sa Kanya.
Sa pamamagitan Nya.
Sa pagsilang Nya.


"See I make all things new." These were the words of Jesus as he carries the cross to Calvary. As we celebrate this event of Christ renewing our lives ones again, may we live life looking through the renewed eyes of faith, hope, and love.

Mapagpanibagong Pasko sa ating lahat.

Veritas

"

Truth is simple.
It's so simple that whenever I would try to justify nor define it, all the more it becomes complicated.

"

O.P.

Yesterday morning, boys from Don Bosco Mandaluyong came to experience a short vocation orientation before going to Batulao for their retreat. I was asked to give my vocation story, and if possible, make it short (for whenever I would be asked to relay my vocation story, it would take me 30 minutes or so) – I told them to give me just 5 minutes this time (oh diba very short!)
While the program was going, I was thinking about what to share to these people, something short yet something substantial. And I thought of sharing a very own reflection about some lines that struck me sometime during my meditation – I shared only my reflection.

“If you seek life in the land of death you will not find it. Can there be a blessed life where life itself doesn’t exist?” –The Confessions of St. Augustine

These lines speak about being “Out of Place.” And being out of place means being uncomfortable, that would most probably lead us to being miserable. We will always be in a continuous “search and find” state in dealing about our being "In Place," in the right place. It also seemed to be similar to the message of Michael Smith’s composition, “My Place in this World.”

“Looking for a reason
Roaming through the night to find
My place in this world
Not a lot to lean on
I need Your light to help me find
My place in this world”

Where is your place in this world?
Where are you now?
What’s next for you?

I’ve found my place for the moment and yet still searches for it. May you continue to “search and find” yours.

My Hope

Hopeless, I now feel
Everything seems to be meaningless
I am discouraged

Kneeling, I prayed hard
Looking around everywhere
I am in struggle

Blue and white, natures of hope
It’s then I knew it was you
And I hoped again


Mary assumed into heaven body and soul. Pray for us.

Equilibrium

People come and go
Today their here
Tomorrow their gone
Most of the time, for a reason we don’t understand

The reasons may be as simple as this
And maybe as big as that
For us, maybe significant
For him, maybe totally not

Nothing is certain
And nothing will be
You might try to build something now
But for how long it’ll last, wait and see

Yet behind these truths
You continue to love
Your past reminds you of your trying
And now you’re trying ones again

Say, there’s no harm in trying
But hurt in trying there’s
It’s just a matter of faith, hope, and love
And how you can ease the hurt for him up above

Never feel empty because of him
You would never know if he also feels empty because of you
Don’t even be tempted to think that you’re the only one hurting
You would never know how hurtful the situations were for him

Offer you hurt and never think that you’re alone
You would never know his intentions and motives
Maybe he’s also hurting for you
You would never know


"Equilibrium" is dedicated to Sem. Chino Reyes.
Thank you for being such an inspiration.

Bukas'Yon

Dalawang buwan na magmula nung pumasok ako ng seminaryo.
Masaya? boring? Malungkot?
Siguro oo.
Siguro minsan.
Siguro hindi.
Pero ang buhay sa seminaryo ay walang pagkakaiba sa buhay sa labas nito.
Masaya? boring? malungkot?

Hindi ba't ganun nga din ang nangyayari sa labas.
Hindi ibig sabihin na nasa seminaryo ako'y hindi ko na kayang gawin ang nagagawa sa labas nito.
Dito nag-aaral din.
Dito nagtatrabaho din.
Dito naglalaro din.
Dito nagdarasal din.

Ano nga kaya ang mayroon dito na wala sa labas?
Ano nga ba ang mayroon sa labas na wala dito?
Siguro may mall sa labas.
Kami nagshoshopping ng ideas, knowledge, at creativity sa study hall.
Siguro may gimmickan at drinking session sa labas
May shrine naman kami para gummimick at makipagsession din sa Diyos..

Kalayaan?
Hindi nga ba kami malaya sa loob?
Paano nga ba masasabing malaya ka?
Ako, Kami, sa seminaryo, pinili namin maging seminarista dahil doon at sa pagiging ganoon namin nakikita at naisasabuhay ang kalayaan kami kalayaan, sa sarili, sa pakikitungo sa kabataang tulad namin, at malaya sa pakikipag-ugnayan sa Diyos.

Karapatdapat?
Sino nga bang karapatdapat?
Ako? Kami?
Wala sa amin.
Wala sa atin.
Ang bokasyong ito ay hindi patungkol sa atin.
Ngunit tungkol sa Diyos na tumatawag sa atin.
Sa kabila ng natural at likas nating pagkakasala.
Sa kanila ng ating likas na pagiging makasalanan.
Hindi tayo kailanman magiging karapatdapat
Pero kaya nating subakan maging karapatdapat.

Handa?
Sino nga bang handa?
Wala naman amin.
Wala naman sa atin.
Pero ang alam ko lang.
Kaya nating paghandaan ang pagiging handa.

Hindi pa sikat ang araw, kami’y gising na.
Ang iba sa inyo, baka naghihilik pa.
Hinaharap naming ang bawat araw.
Nag-aaral.
Naglalaro.
Nagdarasal.
Mahirap pero masarap.
Boring, nakakamiss, at malungkot minsan.
Pero kung babalikan ko yung araw na sinagot ko ang tawag ng Diyos.
Yung araw na dama ko, nasa tabi ko talaga s’ya at naghihintay lang sa sagot ko.
Siguro wala ng saya na hihigit pa.

Once It's Gone, It's Gone

It’s my third week in the seminary, enjoying my studies, works and prayers. But actually, I am really disturbed by what is happening to some people that I left in Manila; some people very close to my heart.

Every morning, and I mean every morning, during my morning meditation in our lauds, I never forget to pray for them.

Actually I am just thinking of one very special person right now, and he was even in my dreams during the past nights of my sleep. I regularly pray for him during the past year when we were not seeing each other. He was a very big help in my vocation, because of him, I learned to accept things that are far beyond my control.

Although I never knew the reason why he left, I kept on believing in him, that he left for a better reason; a reason that would benefit both of us. And I think, this is one sweet fruit of his intention; my vocation was confirmed and I finally dared to answer God’s call.

The night before I would enter the seminary, I wanted to talk to him even for the last time. To settle things that had happened before, to close issues that should be closed, and to thank him for many things, for everything, but for some reasons I’m still afraid that he would refuse to talk to me.

It’s been a year since the crisis in my vocation happened yet everything is still fresh to my mind. I think one year is enough to wait for something that I expect to come, but now I feel discouraged that things won’t be happening the way I expect them to be.

Bro. Noel gave us a sermon last night in the study hall about the proper use of time. The time lost cannot be brought back, even if you make up for it; you’re making up for it at the present. “Once it’s lost, it’s lost.”

Maybe it’s enough. One year is one year, and it’s time to move on and leave the past to the past. Now, I’m leaving everything to that special friend. I don’t want to be unfair to the God to whom I chose to serve, to love and to give my whole life. But rest assured that he is always in my prayers.

Sweet Goodbye,

Kuya

saLAMAT

Sa totoo lang hindi ko alam kung paano ko isasablog ang nararamdaman ko ngayon. Habang inaalala ang lahat ng pinakamasasaya at pinakamalulungkot, ang mga pinaka masasakit at pinakamahihirap na sitwasyong pinagdaanan natin, ang pinakalito at pinakagulong pagpiling hinarap ko, alam ko nandyan ka lang para sa akin, para sa atin.

Kapag daw nasusugatan tayo at naghilom ang sugat, mayroong markang natitira. Isang peklat. Isang natural na palatandaan ng sugat, ng sakit at ng nakaraan. At tandang-tanda natin kung kailan at sa paanong paraan tayo nasaktan at nasugatan. Pero hindi lang daw pala sugat ang nagmamarka. Pati pala ang pagsasama. Kung paano kang naging bahagi ng buhay ng isang tao. Kung paano kayo naging hugutan ng lakas ng loob sa bawat isa. Kung paanong kadamay ka n’ya sa pagkabigo at pagkasawi. Tila nagiiwan ka rin ng isang marka. Nagiiwan ka rin ng isang lamat sa puso nya. Hindi ba’t tandang-tanda mo rin at malinaw sa’yo kung paano s’yang naging bahagi ng buhay mo?

Ganyan daw ang pagpapasalamat. Sa bawat salamat ay may pagbabalik-tanaw. Sa bawat salamat ay may lamat. At alam na alam natin sa kung paano naging bahagi ng buhay natin ang taong yon. Sa bawat pakikipagkilala ay mayroon ding pagpapaalam. At ngayong aalis na ako. Sana alam mo kung gaano ka naging malalim na lamat sa puso ko. Isang lamat sa buhay ko.

Sa mga pinakamalalapit sa puso ko, mga kaibigan na tinuring kong kapatid, ang iba tinuring kong kuya at ate, minsan ang iba para ko pang magulang. Alam mo ba, inspirasyon kita. Sa kung ano ako ngayon ay kasama ka. Sa kung sino ako ngayon ay isa ka sa dahilan. Nagbalik-tanaw ako sa ating nilakbay. Habang tinatanaw ko ito, naisip kong hindi pala ganoon kapatag ang kapatagan, hindi pala ganoon kapayapa ang dagat, may mabatong parte parin pala kahit na ang pinakamalinaw na sapa, at hindi rin pala madaling akyatin ang bundok. Pero ang lahat ng ito nadaanan na natin. Nadaanan nating magkasama. Ikaw at ako. At naisip ko din na hindi pala naging ganoon kahirap, kasakit, kagulo ang lahat. Dahil nariyan ka. Dahil kasama kita.

[Habang yakap ako isa-isa ng mga kaibigan ko nang mga sandaling iyon, pilit kong tinatanong ang sarili ko sa kung paanong paraan nga ba ako naging bahagi ng buhay nila at sila sa buhay ko. Hangad kong ipagdasal n’yo ako at lahat ng seminarista na nawa’y masunod namin ang kagustuhan ng Diyos sa aming kanya kanyang bokasyon.]

Salamat sa lamat.


Kalakbay ng kabataan,

Sem. Ron Abriel A. Evangelista
Salesian Seminarian

Inlab ka ba? Ako OO.

Kanino?
Sa kanya?
Wow!
Mabuti ka pa.

Holding hands na,
May kiss at hugs pa.
Love mo ba sya?
Yeekee, ang sweet naman.

Ako?
Inlab din ako.
Sana nga lab ko sya.
Kasi s’ya, lab nya ako.

Ang hirap nga lang minsan,
Gusto ko din ng kiss.
Gusto ko din ng hug.
Pero wala akong nakukuha.

Ang hirap n’yang mahalin.
Madaming luha at sakit.
Minsan nga nagdududa na ako
Mahal ko nga ba s’ya?

Minsan gusto ko nang sumuko
Pero kapag nakikita ko sya,
Nakabayubay sa krus,
Walang duda, Inlab parin ako sa kanya.

manSANAs

Lord, andito yung mga sanas ko. Mga sanas mula sa puso ko. Iniiwan ko sana sya sa'yo. Para pag-alis ko, all these sanas maioffer ko sa'yo.

Sana si Mommy wag malungkot sa pag-alis ko. Para sa'yo naman to dba.
Sana si Kuya Janmapili na yung right work for him. Kung pwede yung gusto nya talga.
Sana si Rina maging masaya pa with her friends at sana maging mas close pa sila.
Sana si Jason wag mapagod sa pagseserve even the smallest way to help. Iguide mo sya.
Sana si Cholo lumaki na. Kasama na rin dun yung holistic growth nya.
Sana si Kuya Gary hindi na masyadong mapressure sa work nya.
Sana si Imman pumayat na. Sana mas maging masayahin pa.
Sana si Jhed cool lang kahit pinapagalitan. Darating din naman yung time nya.
Sana si Igy laging may peace of mind and heart. Nandyan ka lang naman para sa kanya.
Sana si Kiel in-love muna sa studies bago main-love sa mga girls nya.
Sana si JM maging matatag pa sa mga hamon ng life. Malaki ang inaasahan ko sa kanya.
Sana si Mikky okay ang maging takbo ng studies at love-life. Alagaan mo po sya.
Sana si Luis magenjoy sa career na pinili nya at matupad ang mga dreams pa nya.
Sana si AJ hindi na malito sa bokasyon nya, at sana pumayat na rin sya.
Sana si Jerome mag grow pa at mas maging clear sa kanya ang vocation nya.
Sana si Jesser maipagpatuloy ang pagiging servant-leader sa USTE at san man magpunta.
Sana si Martin manatiling ”iba-sa-iba”. Sana nga maging sila na ni Chesca.
Sana si Kate maabot ang marami pa nyang pangarap para sa pamilya at sarili nya.
Sana si Rex sobrang laging okay. Marami akong utang at ipinagpapasalamat sa kanya.
Sana si Leo manatiling nakakapit sa principles nya at di maguluhan sa pulitika.
Sana si Dave maging inspirayon sa mga peers nya. Lalo na kapag naglead na sya.

Narito ang mga sanas ko sa mga taong pinakamalapit sa puso ko, Sana lang. Sana nga. Paano ko man sabihin, gaano ko man hangarin. Ikaw parin Lord ang pupuno sa kakulangan ng mga sanas na yan. Sana sa pagiging wala ko sa piling nila, mas maramdaman ka'ng working sa buhay nila.

Isn't Parent's Day Yet

I was with Kate last night chatting over a Banana frapp. We haven't seen each other for quite a long time since 2005 when we were still giving retreats in Quezon City. So many stories and sharings, then one moment I was struck on what she said, "A good priest is produced through good parents." Then she left and went to the ladies room.

Thinking about it for a while, I remembered Mommy. I imagined her and how hard it is for her to race a family without Daddy on her side since he passed away 12 years ago. Where does she get her strenght all this time? If it's from us her children particularly me, I wouldn't be worthy of being one.

My mom is my Superwoman! What I am now is because of this Superwoman. And Kate was right, I owe everything to mom. Thanks Mom, Thanks Dad. I love You.

Perwel

Ikaw na [Naging] Bahagi Ko
Ron Evangelista

Gusto kong magpaalam sa iyo
Ikaw na naging malaking bahagi ng pagkatao ko
Hindi dahil sa hindi na tayo muling magkikita
Pero dahil sa gusto kong malaman mong mahal kita

Minsan ko nang ginamit ang mga katagang ito
At muli kong gagamitin ngayon sa paglisan ko
Naging malaking bahagi ka ng pagkatao ko
Sa kung ano ako ngayon ay kasama ka sa pagiging ako

Hindi biro ang ating naging pagsasama
Maraming luha at maraming ring tuwa
Maraming unos at maraming muling pagbangon
At sa lahat ng iyon ay nais kong muling lumingon

Nais kong sabay natin alalahanin
Alalahanin kung paanong minsan tayong nagkapiling
Kung paanong sa mga balika’t koy lumuluha ka
At mga sandaling sa mga bisig ko’y yakap ka

Di maiiwasang magkaalitan paminsan-minsan
Ngunit kung sa alitan mapapatibay ang ating pagkakaibigan
Hahayaan ko na lamang puso’y masaktan
Nang ang lamat mo kailanma’y di malimutan

Sa aking mga kasalanan nais kong humingi ng tawad
Tawad na kay tagal hinangad ng puso ko
At sa aking pag-alis ay nakatitiyak ako
Wala na akong sama ng loob sa iyo

Hangad kong ipagdasal mo ako
Na maging tapat sa aking bokasyon at sa diyos
Siyang ginusto kong paghandugan ng buo kong buhay
Buhay na sya rin ang sa iyo at sa aki’y nagbigay

Sa diyos ko utang ang lahat
Sa kung bakit kita mahal at nakasama ay dahil sa kanya
Siya na ang ating tagapamagitan mula ngayon
At sa aking mga dasal lagi kang naroroon

Salamat sa mga taon at pagkakataon
Salamat sa mga sandali at sa pananatili
Salamat sa pagtitiwala at sa di pagbaliwala
Laging hangad ng puso kong sa iba rin, ika’y maging biyaya

Ooops! Still Passing Through

You, yes you.
Still passing through?
Mahirap ba?
Okey lang yan. Kaya mo yan.
It's normal na malito.

Sana sa pagkalito,
May natututunan tayo.
Sana sa paghahanap,
May paglagong naipalalaganap.

You're in the context (or sana nasa context parin),
Do not worry, do not be afraid.
Take your time, wag magpapressure.
Do not let anyone bring you down.

You have an extraordinary gift,
A gift far beyond what the mind can think.
A present deeper than the heart can dig,
A world bigger, wider and greater than the ordinary.

Kaya congrats sa'yo!
Congrats, dahil pinili mo na.
Pinili mo nang maging totoo,
Pinili mong yakapin ang isang mundong nakahihigit sa'yo.


Lord, grant us
Eyes that longs to see the truth,
Ears that yearns to hear your call,
Lips that proclaims your glory,
Hands that are ready to help,
Feet that defies distance only to follow you,
That as we pass through this stage of adolecense, we may keep you in our company.

The Goggles' Struggles

Life is equated to struggle.

You have yours, I have mine.

Different people, different struggles and different dreams.
I struggle to be good and to be holy.
But, pondering upon my struggle, I realized that:

I can only but try,
I can only but struggle, and
I can only but trust.

Try to achieve my dreams,
Struggle with my intentions, and
Trust only to my God.

How about you?
What's your struggle?

"We can only try. And when we reached our extent, then we've already fulfilled God's mission for us. Rest in God. Trust that he will continue our struggles. May God grant us his peace; a peace the world cannot give."

Servant-leaders: Born for Greater Things

What does the word servant-leader speaks about? In grammar, this is a compound noun, a paradox particularly; two words joined as one so that another word may arise; a new word, a new identity and a new and better purpose.

A servant is defined as a person working in the service of another. It is also synonymous to the word “slave,” a person that is in obedience of another individual. A leader is distinct as the one who is in charge or in command of others. He may also be a guide and a director of his subject (the one under his authority).

It is quite paradoxical and unconvincing to see a word exists such as “servant-leader.” It contradicts the meaning and the purpose of both words. Well it’s already given. So believe because there is such term and such people! Or? Are there really such people? Hmmm?

Oh! I know one person, or may I say, “one who had become a person”. He is the pride of the human race, no one else but God himself trough Christ. Jesus is the perfect epitome of servant-leadership. And he says; "whoever would be greatest among you must be servant of all." Mk 10:43-44, understand that no one can surpass nor attain God’s servant-leadership, but we can always “Try.”

Are you in to be a servant-leader? Then you must learn how to serve, how to be a servant, how to be a person that submits to the will of God, how to be a man committed to his duty and how to be a man of great purpose. “For in great service comes great responsibility and in great responsibility comes a great leader.”

As the motto of the seminarians and bosconians in Don Bosco Canlubang goes, “Ad majore Natus” which means; born for greater things. Leaders of today, you are challenged to choose the better things for you are bearers of Christ’s example of perfect servant-leadership.

*To the newly elected student leaders of Don Bosco Mandaluyong, you are channels of God’s love for the young, you are born for greater things, may you choose the better things. God gave you the opportunity to serve your fellow youth, make him proud!