On that Tuesday Night

Tuesday evenings are reserved for Rector’s conferences. A while ago, he talked about the annual renewal of our stay as aspirants in the formation house. While we were used to talk about our application as something that transcends us above others, he recommends that we look at it as a progression, a continual process towards answering our call towards Him.
I hope that as I examine myself for the next days, God may grant me serenity to answer his call with all prudence, humility to accept and learn from the past, and the faith to look forward and continue the journey. Pray for me.

28 Years is not a Joke

Rev. Drans arrived this morning. He’s gonna stay here in Canlubang for his retreat in preparation to his very soon ordination to the priesthood on February 2 in SJB Parish and we're gonna be his choir. Rev. Bernard ‘Drans’ Nolasco, SDB has inspired me by his good night talk. His homing back in the seminary is a significant choice for him as he remembers the love story that transpired between him and God in this sacred place. Reverend, 28 years of struggle is not a joke. Yours is my salutary respect and prayers. Congratulations.

Image from http://www.sdb.ph

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Hinahanap parin Kita

Hinahanap kitang nanghihikayat
Ikaw ngang tumatawag
Hinahanap kitang nang-aakit
Ikaw ngang nananaghoy

Hinahanap kitang nagtawag
Ikaw na ipinaririto ko
Hinahanap kita pag-ibig
Ikaw na hangad ng puso

Hinahanap kita ng buong lakas
Ikaw na tumatawag sa mahina
Hinahanap kita sa luha
Ikaw ngang tanging ligaya

Hinahanap kita sa apoy
Ikaw na langit
Hinahanap kita sa kasalanan
Ikaw na kapatawaran

Hinahap kita sa kanila
Ikaw na akay ako
Hinahap kita sa dilim
Ikaw na tanglaw na pala

Hinahanap kita at dinudungaw
Ikaw na hinihintay
Hinahanap kita sa malayo
Ikaw na yakap na ako

Hinahanap parin kita

Sexuality: A Response to a Call

Sexuality transcends much than the usual norm of genital matters. It is a relational power that makes us responsible to enter into other persons’ lives and them to ours.

Sexuality is a response to a call that urges to know one’s self fully so that one could also give freely and serene. Sexuality is a response to be conscious. It is a response to a world that does not foresee effects of what could come about by just letting things happen - a skeptic view of reality, while relationships do not "just happen." Sexuality is a responsibility. It is every person’s responsibility. Hone it. Own it.

Per Severe

Just a thought: skimming through a book to pass the time, there was this weird feeling when I looked and focused to a line that says much about perseverance. I thought about the etymology of perseverance. Perseverance is rooted to the word persevere. I actually don’t know if this idea that I present existed way before I thought about it, but persevere could be divided into two basic words: per and severe. Per could mean through, taken from its Latin origin. Severe is synonymous to having a definite hardness or severity of nature or manner; being stern for that matter. Having thought of this, the word perseverance would surely give a rich and deep meaning to me even at a glance. Persevere means going “through sternness;” through hardships. It's reaching the peak that inspires to go back to the idea of climbing. It's arriving to the destination that gives the sensation to tell the story of the trip. Struggling is being a sure winner.

I feel betrayed.
I was confused between reality and fantasy.
I am angry.

What else is not Changing?

Sometime in the past, the year was new. Today, there is a newer year than that. If there is always something new in everything, that even time longs to have its major changes which affect the whole universe, what else is not changing?

Ianus is a two-headed god. One face looks back and the other looks forward. He is god of beginnings and endings. Sad or happy, bitter or sweet, despairing or faithful, all the extremities of passing motions that could be subjected to fate are all seen by his nature. He sees progressions happen. In all that he sees in the past and glimpses in the future, continuity restores the balance in what is seen – he continues to see even if something in the past or future is hurting, painful, and confusing. What else is not changing?

We’ve seen people changed for better and for worse, time felt passing slowly and rapidly, relationships ended and started anew, promises broken and renewed. What else is not changing?

I say it’s God. If change could be created by someone who is not subject to his creation, it should be someone almighty like Him. He is consistent. His love rises before the sun; his mercy endures and guards creation in the dark; he who grants changes restores everything through love – through Himself.

Defy Darkness with Friendship

Take nothing but pictures,
Leave nothing but footprints,
Kill nothing but time.

This has been a famous quote in mountain-hiking. As for me, as I enjoy Christmas vacation, I had this privilege to escape from the noise of the metropolis to my escapade at Batangas. The stay highlighted a youthful motive: to hike Mt. Maculot – our resident mountain.

Shooting two birds with one stone, the three-day stay started with the event of a friend’s house blessing and then an unplanned/unorganized/unforeseen trek towards the mountain. I thought about hiking early in the morning of the 30th but since there was this unanimous decision while I was snoring on the bed, we hiked late afternoon of the 29th right after the blessing took place.

We knew that leaving late afternoon would mean that we would reach the peak early evening of that same day. We brought extra shirts and consumable supplies that were necessary for the hike. One necessity foreseen was bringing flashlights since we knew that it would be a late-evening hike down the mountain, but we didn’t take it seriously and so we hiked without any. Actually we thought about ‘divine providence.’ Seems foolish since we defied our foresights right? Anyway, we continued the adventure!

Going up was already tiring and exhausting. Halfway towards the peak, the sunset as if told me that no light would be provided for on top – doubling the effort to hike up is necessary – it was already getting dark. A companion, Kuya Gary led the way to the top. He stopped for a while and called me. Responding to him, he instructed me to turn back and try noticing the trail. I was surprised to see nothing but dark silhouettes. I smiled and said, ‘That was nice, you should have said it earlier.’ Then we went on. Upon arriving on top, we rested for a while. We met co-hikers fully equipped with everything for an overnight stay.

An idea came to us about the possibility of staying since we were tired, but it was too cold up there, no one would survive the night without any fitting equipment. We were tired but we knew that we needed to go down and follow the plan for the day – go down without any flashlights. Good enough that we brought our mobile phones with us, the light might not be strong to guide, but it was the only option to survive. Down the mountain we went, the should-have-been thirty-minute hike down became two hours. We crawled like babies, walked like toddlers and despaired like prisoners. We kept the faith by singing all the melodies we could think of though not the world could imagine, all songs that could kill time, all genres that anyone could think of. We made it to the foot exhausted and almost desperate, but we knew that it was a thrilling, exciting, and memorable experience to be banked on our hearts.

At the end of the day, the famous quote was not realized except for the last line.

Take nothing but pictures, [but we’ve no cameras]
Leave nothing but footprints, [but we couldn’t since it was dark]
Kill nothing but time. [yeah! It was a double dead!]

Thank you Alan, Jesser, Kuya Gary, Igy, and Iman for being my companions during this very unique experience. It was my privilege to be with you.

Pag-asang Buhay

Taon ng pagbabago
Pagbabagong luma
Lumang nais baguhin
Baguhing panibago

Panibagong buhay
Buhay na ako
Akong nagbabago
Nagbabagong hirap

Hirap magbago
Magbagong patuloy
Patuloy na kailanman
Kailanma’y lalakad

Lalakad ang panahon
Panahon na luma’t bago
Bagong nagiging luma
Lumang minsa’y bago

Bago may lumilipas
Lumilipas parang tao
Taong luma’t bago
Bagong ako

Ako na minsang bago
Bagong magiging luma
Luma ma’y pag-asa
Pag-asang buhay

Ang Drama sa Pasko

Masaya ang unang pasko. Maluwalhati ang unang pasko. Higit sa lahat matensyon ang unang pasko. Si Maria, nang sabihin ng anghel na buntis s’ya hindi dahil sa isang lalaki ngunit gawa ng Espiritu Santo – Ganun? Espiritu Santo? Sinong maniniwala sa’yo? Ang labas kay Maria, disgrasyada. Kay Jose, masakit na tanggapin si Maria sa ganoon kalagayan, ikakasal na sila sa sandaling panahon – mahirap maniwala kay Maria, masakit kausapin si Maria. Magulo ang damdamin ni Jose at Maria sa unang pasko. Hindi man ipinakita sa mga kwento, marahil kung ikaw si Jose, o di kaya naman ay si Maria, anong mararamdaman mo? May ibibigat pa ba kaysa sa naramdaman nila? Ang drama sa unang pasko.

Madaming bagay na mahirap, bagamat tama. Madaming bagay na masakit, bagamat dapat. Madaming bagay na mapait, bagamat mabuti. Ito marahil ang hatid ng pasko. Isang Diyos na pinili ang hirap, sakit, at pait, dahil alam n’yang ang mga ito ang tama, dapat, at mabuti.

Nativity Picture from: http://i115.photobucket.com/albums/n292/blog_files/Nativity/NativityScene.jpg

Thinking about CHRISTmas

Problema? Madami!

Sa Caroling Concert sa DBTI Makati nung Lunes, nagbiro ako sa isang pamilyar na pari:

Father, bakit may mga Salesians na sa unang tingin lang, parang walang problema? Ang sarap nilang tingnan. Parang ang gaan sa pakiramdam - parang ikaw!

Problema? Madami! Pero itinatapon kong lahat sa Kanya (sa Diyos.) Pero sabi n’ya, Oy, magkasama tayo dito ah.

Pinipigilang maging seryoso ang usapan, napatahimik ako, lumayong dahan-dahan at di nagpahalatang naantig ang puso; tinamaan ako.

May katotohanang nananatili sa puso ng paring ‘yon. Alam n'yang kasama n’ya ang Diyos. Ibinibigay na n’ya ang lahat araw-araw. Magaling s’ya ngunit hindi mayabang. Sa buhay-pari n'ya, alam n’yang hindi n’ya kayang wala S’ya (ang Diyos), magkasama lagi sa lahat ng problema.

Masmasarap pala ang pakiramdam na alam mong may kasama ka sa daan kaysa sa pagmasdan ang iba na tila walang problema.

Kwarto

Ng: Sugarfree

Maglilinis ako ng aking kwarto
Na punong-puno ng galit at damit
Mga bagay na hindi ko na kailangan
Nakaraang hindi na pwedeng pagpaliban

Oohh… Oohh…

Mga liham ng nilihim kong pag-ibig
At litrato ng kahapong maligalig
Dahan-dahan kong inipon
Ngunit ngayo’y kailangan nang itapon

Di ko na kayang mabuhay sa kahapon
Kaya mula ngayon, mula ngayon

May jacket mong nabubulok sa sulok
Na inaalikabok na sa lungkot
May panyong ilang ulit nang niluhaan
Isang patak sa bawat beses na tayo’y nasaktan

Mula ngayon

Ala-ala ng lumuluhang kahapon
Dahan-dahan ko na ring kinakahon
Natagpuan ko na ang tunay kong ligaya
Lumabas ako ng kwarto’t naroon siya

Magpapaalam na sa ‘yo ang aking kwarto
Magpapaalam na sa ‘yo
Magpapaalam na sa ‘yo ang aking kwarto

Sa aking pakikinig sa “Kwarto” ng Sugarfree, isa lang ang naiisip ko – Kumpisal. Ako ang kwarto. Sa aking paglabas-pasok ay pinagamasadan pala ng Pag-ibig. Nandyan Siya, naghihintay pa rin.

Love of my L.I.F.E

For the past week, we’ve been discussing differences in relationships. They could be categorized in four general fields. We call it L.I.F.E: Love, Infatuation, Friendship, and Exploitation.

Let me focus on love. Love is commonly believed as a give-and-take relationship, but actually it’s never like that. It’s unconditionally a give-give-give relationship. “Nemo dat quod non habet.” Nobody gives what one doesn't have.

An example could be like this: I cry because I broke-up with my girlfriend, but to whom am I really weeping for? If those tears are for me because I feel emptiness in me, therefore I have not loved but more of infatuated since am only attracted to her presence. I feel the need of her presence masked by so many other created reasons. Life is not worth living since she left me here all alone. This is never love but infatuation.

Love your neighbor + as you love yourself. The Lord commands that we should love ourselves, with a condition, “as you love yourself.” This is a very particular commandment from God. He could have just commanded to love our neighbor, yet he gives distinction to this.

The love I project to others is the love I have for myself. This is the same quality of love that one could give to the other. And so, love could only be realized if one is overflowing of love for himself. All the rest of love pouring out from him could be given to the other with the assurance from him of being stable and capable to love always.

Christ Revealed in the Disabled

It was a grace-filled experience to be part of the People with Disability (PWD) Day in Don Bosco Makati last Sunday, Dec. 2, 2007.

I was a volunteer caregiver of three recipients: Kuya Abe and Kuya Ed who were both lame, and Rochelle who has down-syndrome. I was with them the whole day. Honestly, it was really difficult for me to be a caregiver since am not patient; nevertheless we acknowledged the presence of one another. At the end of the day, we have to separate ways, and say our goodbyes. That ends my task for the day.

It was a tiring day. I did my duty, but at the end of everything, am faced with many questions before the Lord. I did my duty but was I able to “be” with them: to touch their lives for a moment, a moment that could be treasured for a lifetime? Was I able to share my life or just my time and my physical presence? I felt that I missed the point of that day since I looked at it as a mere duty. Perhaps, this also gives me the reason why I respect guardians taking care of disabled people.

I am guilty and at the same time grateful. I felt that I wasn’t able to bring Christ to them; otherwise they brought Christ to me. It shakes me to realize these matters. After that Saturday, my affection for the disabled people sinks to the reserved section of my heart. It was my pleasure being with you Kuya Abe, Kuya Ed, and Rochelle, for God is with you. Thank you for the presence. Thank you for bringing God with you.

His Hero's Journey

The journey of a thousand miles starts with a step, just as the journey of a hero starts with a decision. The first battles of a hero start at home. There he struggles and learns the primal matters for survival. There he feels the loveliest years of life: a hero’s childhood.

From the home, he travels to the meadows, mountains, forests, rivers; searching for his treasure that home once taught him to realize; a hero in the making. There he fights his battles, side-by-side with the Providence through his heart. He is born to battle. He is a hero.

He thinks about many things in the journey: love, women, sex, entertainment, prayer, and survival with all his heroic prudence. He thinks about anything under the great sun.

Once, he thought about happiness, thought about the love he left, women loved, curiosities passed, friends met, prayers doubted and graced, and how he survived for the time that he has been journeying. He asked and even doubted if he has become, and is happy being a hero. He despairs for a moment, and then again thought about his being.

I am a hero, I fight my own battles. I am a hero, winning means struggling. I am a hero, I didn’t choose to be one, but I was made one by Providence. Am I happy? Not quite, but the extremities of both sides of happiness and despair puts me in the middle and learns the virtue in between. I am happy yet loaded with all the problems imaginary and real that the journey offers a hero: am at ease and still searches for my Providence from whom I could ask for my treasure and thank for making me His hero.

He goes home after a long battle and celebrates his struggles. Either win or lose, he homes back and rest for a while. Gains strength and readies himself for another journey.

You are the hero of many people.
You are the hero of yourself.
You are the hero of the Providence.

Be one.

This composition is offered to a discouraged companion very dear to my heart.

Love Fears Nothing

What is love? If you'd ask John Denver, he would perhaps say that:

Perhaps love is like a resting place, a shelter from the storm
It exists to give you comfort, it is there to keep you warm
And in those times of trouble when you are most alone
The memory of love will bring you home

Perhaps love is like a window, perhaps an open door
It invites you to come closer, it wants to show you more
And even if you lose yourself and don't know what to do
The memory of love will see you through

Love to some is like a cloud, to some as strong as steel
For some a way of living, for some a way to feel
And someone say love is holding on and some say letting go
And some say love is everything, and some say they don't know

Perhaps love is like the ocean, full of conflict, full of pain
Like a fire when it's cold outside, thunder when it rains
If I should live forever, and all my dreams come true
My memories of love will be of you

Love may not be defined completely by this song “Perhaps Love,” nevertheless my own version tells me that there is a higher choice in discovering love. I think that is the choice to decide: love is decision, and fear is always intertwined with it. The challenge would normally go like, how much love did you give? But more so, how much love would you still able to give without the fear? Then faith is realized.

Di Makausad

Minsan nga’y may himig na narinig.
Himig na tumatawag at nang-aakit.
Sinasambit ay ngalan kong ibig.
Ako nama’y nakinig.

Madilim at kulob.
Malamig din sa loob.
Dinig pati lagaslas ng tubig.
Sinundan parin and tinig.

Tanging dala’y sarili.
Ni anong ilaw ay wala.
Kani-kanina’y lagusay tanaw pa.
Tanaw dati’t ngayo’y hindi na.

Nasaan ako?
Nanlalamig na’t nagugutom.
Kumukulo ang tiyan
Tila mga kawayang naglalagutukan.

Natatakot sa hindi nakikita.
Nabibingi sa katahimikan.
Gaspang lang tanging dama.
Tinig ay nananaghoy pa.

Di na nga makausad.
Nanginginig sa pagnanais humakbang.
Ayoko na!
Ngunit naririnig parin kita.

In My Despair, Will You be There for Me?

There for Me
By: Sarah Brightman (duet with Josh Groban/ Andreia Bocelli)

RON:
There for me, every time I've been away
Will you be there for me, thinking of me everyday
Are you my destiny, words I never dared to say
Will you be there for me?
Just think of you and me, we could never tow the line
It's such a mystery just to hear you say you're mine
And while you're close to me, so close to me
Just hold me

JC:
When you're feeling cold and all the city streets are grey
Walking all alone and watching how the children play
Voices in the wind and faces from the past go dancing by
They're asking why

RON and JC:
Will you be there for me, everytime I go away
Will you be there for me, thinking of me everyday
Are you my destiny, words I never dared to say
Will you be there for me?

RON:
And while you're close to me, so close to me
Just hold me

JC:
Can you really want me more than for a little while?
What are the stories hiding there behind your smile?
Wishes in a dream and figures in a world that I could share
And everywhere

RON and JC:
Will you be there for me
Will there ever come a day when all the world can see
Things were meant to be that way
Will you be there for me?
Can you hear the people say
That you're just
There for me

JC:
There for me

RON:
There for me


In my despair would you be there for me JC? When you're so close to me, would you just hold me and let me feel you? If my love fades, would you still love me and hold me? Would you despair with me or strengthen me with your warmth? Would you be there for me even if I couldn't give back and be there for you? JC, do we ask the same questions as we grow in love with one another everyday?

Kanya-kanyang Buhay-lakbay

Naglakbay kami nang sabay-sabay
Sabay-sabay na nag-iisa
Nag-iisang magkakasama
Magkakasamang ngayo’y iisa na

Bakit tila iniwan na’ng mundo
Mundong dati’y kami
Kaming ngayo’y ako
Ako na lang

Naisip ko’y baka nga ganito
Ganito ang buhay ng tao
Taong nilalakbay ang buhay
Buhay mag-isa sa karamihan

Bumalik ako sa simula
Simula ng paglalakbay nang magkakasama
Magkakasama’y hindi na
Hindi na natagpo pa

Ang buhay-paglalakbay ay kanya-kanya
Kanya-kanyang buhay-lakbay
Buhay-lakbay na akin at kanya
Kanya na naman

Iisa lang naman ang tungo
Tungong hangganan ng lahat
Lahat na iisa
Iisang katotohanan

Pagal ma'y di hihinto
Di hihinto sa pagtungo
Pagtungo sa hinahanap
Hinahanap na iisa

Sa iisa nga’y magkikita
Magkikita sa tungong lahat at isa
Isa na uugnay muli sa paglalakbay
Paglalakbay ng lahat at isa

I Hunger for You

What love can be greater than to lay one’s life for one’s friend? Today is Corpus Christi Sunday. This feast is the celebration of the Body and Blood of Christ continually offered in the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. Just a thought from a good homily I heard this morning. “Di ba kung love mo, pakakainin mo? Di ba kung love mo, bubusugin mo? Kung pwede lang, magtake-out ka pa…” This is how we love. We give. We give the best. And what giving could be better than giving one’s life for the other. Indeed Christ doesn’t only offer us much; he offers us everything by offering himself. In return, I hope our longing and hunger for God is also much, is also worth our everything.

I hope I won’t get tired giving and loving anytime soon.

Passing E-Motion

Relationships exist in venues. We’ve our homes which eventually become the normal and primal venue for every sprouting relationship, there we nurture our ties to our family. The school is the venue for camaraderie, there we experience having friends and factions, there we experience the falling and rising actions of life’s physics. There are those places which are very dear to us, those places which we’ve discovered something in ourselves, that eventually triggered by people we’re with. Then relationship exists.

I wouldn’t be able to go to those places for quite sometime. Here comes the nostalgia. Here comes the longing and yearning for something that was me. Here comes the recollection of those friends and acquaintances which have caressed the child within me way back our moments. Though I haven’t been meeting them in those places anymore, the vivid pictures of our moments are kept still in the memory of my heart. Then we progress.

Get Along with the Beat

A continual drop of water could smoothen even the sharpest edge of a stone.

God knocks to our hearts, he always does, and the least thing we could do is to give-in to His will. Though more often, we would choose to numb ourselves as not to sense the God knocking within, then we miss the point of being invited to join the beat of every knock. There where it is music for those who notice that there is a beat in every knocking, a consolation in every calling, then we get along with it.

Faith is the medium of every opening to God; a complete bet that could make or break us, and yet we are challenged to gamble everything. Anyway, God’s love still drops continually.

Alfred's Psalm 23

“If we live life without loving God, we miss life altogether.” – Fr. Alfred Cogliandro, SDB +

Today is the 15th death anniversary of Fr. Alfred. I have glanced at posts of some friends in the congregation and most of their posts today speak about Fr. Cogliandro. I have never met this great salesian, but I encounter him most of the time through the good night talks, those moments of grace where I get to acknowledge his wisdom and holiness. The stories behind the holy life that he has lived and how he prepared towards death are all history, but one thing’s sure, he was most prepared to die; he was ready to meet his Creator.

Let me share in Fr. Cogliandro’s thought regarding his motto. I think none of us does things at the same time yet gives the same focus needed. If I choose to do things with certainty, therefore that choice gives the element of surrender to what I might have done on the other given option, and then we miss the other stuff. Only to find out that we’ve also done the other option in another given time, at another given choosing moment. What I mean is that there are things that need to be accepted first before complaining about them. I remember my first weeks in the seminary, I was grumbling greatly about how they (my co-seminarians) do things and how they give variety of reasons about their way of life. After some time, I’ve learned to get along the adjustment struggle and started to seek the reasons in the way of life I wanted for myself as a seminarian.

Yes, we miss things, but missing life would be a devastating truth for someone. Let’s not miss life; let’s not miss loving God.

Look to Your Heart

“Ron, don’t look at people, they’re bound to disappoint you.” Thank you for this Donnie. I remember him whenever I feel that the world hates me because of some people whom I have not yet learned to accept. While it’s a fact that differences exist in a community, I think respect for each other should always be above the rest of our individual issues. It might sound dysfunctional not to talk about such things while in the heat of an emotional expression, but I think doing so would be prudent and mature. People are animate being, each has his own purpose. It would be objective to examine the self rather than look outside and see nothing true to what the mind senses.

Panatang Manatili

Dahil pag-ibig ang alay sa ‘yo, mananatili ako.
H’wag nang naising tayo’y mawalay,
H’wag nang isiping
Magwawakas ang paglalakbay.

This is one of the stanzas of “Pananatili,” my "panatang manatili".

One moral I’ve learned in all my coming and going, to and from the hearts of the people whom I’ve touched and have loved dearly is that, they are some choices that I’ve made; the choice to love them and be part of them.

I believe that the seminary walls are not high barracks which distinct the world of the holy and that of the unworthy, but rather bridges where we meet truth and vessels where God’s grace towards our hearts is realized.

Dahil nga pag-ibig ang alay ko sa’yo, ano pa man, saan man, kailan man, nand’yan lang ako sa puso mo, nananatili. – I can’t explain how love remains even if the corpus is not seen, contact for a long time has gone, and memories have put beneath the reach of mind. You never stop loving someone you’ve loved. Love endures.

H’wag nang naising tayo’y mawalay, h’wag nang isiping magwawakas ang paglalakbay. – For your life and mine is a journey, and if ever catastrophe comes to our way, look inside your heart, there you’ll see that love never tires. Continue the journey.

Measuring God's Grace

Some months ago, I read a compilation of homilies by some famous Jesuit fathers in the country. One of the authors is a prominent priest of the society. He tells about an incident when he was still a young seminarian who’ll in just a matter of months become a young Jesuit. There was a point when he felt discouraged. He came to his spiritual friend. Upon listening to him for quite sometime, the priest said, “Why don’t you try giving without counting the cost?” This perhaps would be an ideal thing to talk about, but I think many people have come to the realization of this statement so far.

My soul is restless these days while thinking about the priest’s advise. I’ve been preoccupied with much reflection about many things. One thing would be about measuring God’s graciousness. I think God is so good that he’d still forgive and love me even if I continually live sinful everyday, I mean to the extreme point of repenting insincere during the sacrament of confession. Sounds a weird idea right? The possibility of deceiving priests during the sacrament may be realized by some people today, but we don’t fool God when we try to deceive Him, He knows it anyway. Then the next thing to do would be fooling themselves. Being mesmerized by God’s graciousness would be something really good to experience and think about. Though understanding it fully wouldn’t be humane, and making it a basis for justifying our jealousy and pride to God would be insane, man expresses His possessing nature by making himself in the level of anyone; even of his own Creator. In short, man tries to limits God by comparing Him to himself.

In the end, I come to the recurring reminder that surrendering and trusting God’s grace would always be a prudent act when such crisis comes, and the story of the Jesuit father would always remind me that embracing a world greater than your own would remain possible when you don't count the cost.

Si Nanay... Naghihintay

Doon nga sa bahay
Si nanay naghihintay
Sulo nya’y buhay

Huwag Kang Matakot

Eraserheads

Huwag kang matakot
'Di mo ba alam nandito lang ako
Sa iyong tabi
'Di kita pababayaan kailan man
At kung ikaw ay mahulog sa bangin
Ay sasaluhin kita

Huwag kang matakot na matulog mag-isa
Kasama mo naman ako
Huwag kang matakot na umibig at lumuha
Kasama mo naman ako
Huwag kang matakot

Huwag kang matakot
Dahil ang buhay mo'y walang katapusan
Makapangyarihan ang pag-ibig
Na hawak mo sa iyong kamay
Ikaw ang Diyos at hari ng iyong mundo
Matakot sila sa 'yo

Huwag kang matakot na matulog mag-isa
Kasama mo naman ako
Huwag kang matakot na umibig at lumuha
Kasama mo naman ako
Huwag kang matakot na magmukhang tanga
Kasama mo naman ako
Huwag kang matakot sa hindi mo pa makita
Kasama mo naman ako
Huwag kang matakot

Huwag kang matakot na matulog mag-isa
Kasama mo naman ako
Huwag kang matakot na umibig at lumuha
Kasama mo naman ako
Huwag kang matakot

Huwag kang matakot
'Di kita pababayaan kailan man


Napakaganda ng pahiwatig ng awit na ito sa aking buhay at bokasyon ngayon. Marahil, ito rin ang nais ipagbigay-alam ng Diyos sa sinumang nagnanais na sumunod sa kanya. "Huwag kang matakot, 'di kita pababayaan, nandito lang ako."

Psalm 84

How lovely is Your dwelling place
O, Lord, mighty God, Lord of all.

Even the lowly sparrow finds a home for her brood,
and the swallow, a nest for herself
where she may lay her young
in Your altars, my King and my God.

Blessed are they whose dwelling is Your own, Lord of peace.
Blest are they refreshed by springs and by rain
when dryness daunts and scathes.
Behold my Shield, my King and my God.

I would forsake a thousand other days anywhere
if I could spend one day in Your courts,
belong to You alone.
My strength are You alone,
my Glory, my King and my God.

How lovely, Your dwelling place
O, Lord, mighty God, Lord of all.

This was a hit responsorial psalm during my stay in Don Bosco Mandaluyong. Memories of my last years in high school revolved in this song. And perhaps if people would be asked on what song they remember me, this would be it. I have sung this psalm many times during our masses, and every time I would sing it, it is as if it would be the only opportunity to sing it, and so I would sing it with all my being. My friend Igy loved it when I would sing this before, I don't know if he'll still love to hear me sing this after some years that had passed, and actually if I were to choose our friendship song, this would be my pick; the song that witnessed the story of our friendship. Igy, this is for you.

Incidents Not Accidents

When God creates, His creation is realized by his outpouring love; and we came about because there is a God who has always shared his extra Godly love. Though identified as the highest form of creation, we benefit from the truth that we share His extras brought about by His own being, which makes us truly little less than a god. And I guess, this realization should broaden our perspective on how we are to live the gift of life, that since we are mere extras made into being, we are also to choose to share, love and live life by and through the same love that we’re.

The God You're

Let me love my God through my heart
The heart that was made before His
His image and likeness eternal

Eternal is his Love
The Love that is, was, and will
Boundless it is, penetrating reality

Reality of my life
The love of God exists
Exists in being

Being is a perfect gift
Gift that is from perfection
Perfection that is God

God You’re

You are My Everything

“…You hold on to me tight that I may keep the fight
To love you more and all the more each day”

I was really struck by these end lines of “You are My Everything.” It has just been played during our benediction service awhile ago led me to a recurring realization about God’s love for us; that God is with us in our fight against our human inclinations, if only we would hold on and keep the faith, winning would be inevitable.

Towards Perfect Happiness

Man is on a continual journey towards his daily goal: to be happy. While we think that we experience happiness in our lives, we might have asked this at least once, “Am I happy enough?”

Perfect happiness is a yearning of the heart. Though it’s not a reality of this world, the possibility of happiness being sought and found exists. While the world tells us that every moment of happiness has its price, and had to be bought to acquire the ever-longed experience of happiness, we find ourselves with lots of created needs but never satisfied happiness.

The heart’s longings were made not to frustrate man, but to encourage him to seek greater things which a created matter such as the world cannot offer. As the reality of the world tells us that every created being has a time to expire, we cannot but seek for happiness from something or someone who doesn’t expire: God.

Let us seek the Perfect Happiness with great enthusiasm and hope.

Perfecting Perfection

God is perfect, and since He's perfect, the reason why he must be doing anything must also be for something perfect: Himself. Otherwise, He contradicts Himself in settling for reasons less than perfection.

We might be often caught unaware of this fact, but the other side of our humanity tells us that since we are made from God’s perfection, there would be no higher purpose for doing but also for perfection who is God.

The great picture shows us that God created everything for the progression of His perfection. His creation adds nothing to Himself. It doesn’t make Him any lesser or any better, for the lone fact that He’s God. Since there is nothing and no one more deserving to accept God’s will than Perfection Himself, God doesn’t create because he is egotistic.

Never Too Good

Some people have this tendency to be labeled as “too good to be true.” Though it might seem unbecoming to be truly good these days, let us look at the other side of the coin that tells us that the basis of the same statement is rooted in man’s journey towards himself.

How can there be something too good if goodness itself is already perfect? Goodness that comes from Perfection, who is God, cannot but be perfect in its nature.

I just got reminded of this truth. We are good. We’ll always be good. Nothing can put us away from our very nature since everything is from Perfection. Not even the choices we make would separate us from God, but as we realize God’s goodness let us also be reminded that our existence would always be for God’s progressing perfection and glory.

It doesn’t imply that God’s creation was made for His leisure, but the other side of the story tells us that we are in, with, and for his Perfection.

†Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam et Salutatem Animarum

Who Writes?

At the moment, people (seminarians) here who own blogs have similar entries sharing different viewpoints on the philosophy of writing. It’s a requirement in their subject, and when you see their pieces, all of them bound to answer this question: “why do I write?”

From there, I have also started to justify personal answers to the same question. So, where do you think should I draw them? As I write this article, I am trying to picture a writer when he writes. As a skill, he writes for discovery, comprehension and integration of what the mind knows and what it would want to express. Otherwise, the art of writing gives him a sense of fulfillment and liberty. Most of the time, he writes because he just feels like writing. His writing lives in him and he in his writing.

When I write, the motive of writing mirrors the product of my work, thus I become my own piece.

Soar High Under

Born for Greater Things! This has been the cry of Don Bosco Canlubang for the past years of its existence while it is still vital challenge to everyone up to the time-being.

But how does someone become great in the eyes of his lauder? Perhaps a good number of people here have their idols or people whom they look up to. It might also be said that they have this binding commonality which moves them to laud and acknowledge the influence of his power. If this factor truly exists then what is it?

I often process the feeling of being envious to people who project themselves to the public as superheroes who feel that they are indispensable in the eyes of the people they meet as they try to save the world while their motives suffer in the unprocessed part of their being. But possibly, this phenomenon was never cited in the viewpoint of a lauder.

I am a lauder myself. I also have idols. I have my definition on how I should deal with them. I am a part of my question. I also have in me that binding force from which we lauders are unconscious. If I may identify my issue, let me say that it is our desire to be like them that makes us a wanderer. Though the existing truth is, we would not just want to be like them, but as we identify, we corrupt and yield ourselves to the same identity thus, we become – them.

Probably, “born for greater things” imply that the moment we were formed in the womb accompanies us in the reality towards our great being. Nevertheless greatness doesn’t stop there. As we progress through the years, it becomes clear to us that there is more in being the great person for it was already a given, and it is from there that our call to higher things comes to realization. We are great in our nature, and it is in that same nature that we would desire to be more. But the call towards surpassing this given nature challenges us not to desire higher but to dig deeper in the discovery of ourselves; self-mastery.

“If it dies, it bears much fruit.” - Jn 12:24 Let me die in my greatness and my desires of reaching the blue sky that my person may long for his deeper reason, and in digging deep I may grow and bear much fruit, better than before.

Buhay-kandila

Ang mitsa ay ang pagsilang
Pagkamulat sa mundong patunaw
Umaagos ang init at pusok
Sa dulo'y hupang nagbabanta
Sa ilaw ay buhay
Sa simoy ay kamatayan
Sinasaklaw ang pangkalahatan
Nauupos sa pagkadakila
Sa liwanag ay dilim
Taglay ng sindi'y banta
Payak na't di lalaon
Nakadapang tila pasuko
Patunaw at pakalat
Pinapatay ang sarili ng kusa
Masdan ang buhay-kandila
Ikaw

Buksan

Pinhid ng pintuan, mistulang dingding,
Walang sinuma ang maaring tanggapin.

Anong pumipigil? Anong nagbabawal?
Sa sariling mundo'y ba't di ka lumaya?

Buksan ang 'yong mga mata kahit may luha.
Mamahalin parin kita. Tutulungang Lumaya

Ang basong may tubig lagyan mong muli.
Aapaw dahil wala nang silid.
Ang pusong may galit, di maaring umibig.
Bulag sa wasto, alipin ng isip.

Buksan ang 'yong mga mata kahit may luha.
Mamahalin parin kita. Tutulungang Lumaya.

... siguro kung kaya kong bumalik, pipiliin ko paring pumasok sa seminaryo. Doon kung saan nabuksan ang pintuang mistulang pader sa kapal at bigat. Doon kung saan pinapalaya't hinihiom ang puso. Doon na ang baso ng pag-ibig ay ang puso; bottomless! Siguro nga'y nakapiring ang mga mata ko noon, walang buhay na maaninaw. Ngunit di nangahulugang, di ko kayang piliing nakapiring at pikit-matang itaya ang pangarap at buhay ko sa pagkasalesyanong seminarista. Sinong mag-aalis ng piring? Hindi ko alam. Tanging batid ko'y nakagapos din pala ang aking mga kamay. Nakayapos sa Iyo Panginoon.

Inside the Heart of A True Friend

*Dedicated to my good friend Mikky Manaligod as he owns his retreat on March 10, 2007. Thanks for being loyal and true.

I do not feel the need to send you this letter,

Yet I write letting the thoughts

And the spirit of those thoughts crawl from my heart

Toward my hands

And type all the words needed to write this letter.

And so I write without any reason at all.

For all those reasons

Are already with you and within you;

Inside the heart of a true friend.

Keep those values that we’ve learned through you.

Keep those memories that we’ve made true.

Keep them where they can only exist;

In the heart of a true friend;

Truth.

The past nor the future does not exist.

Believe me they don’t.

But only does the present.

How do we look back to nothingness

And look forward to a dream?

They only exist in the plane

And so look at your heart.

Your heart where nothingness is defied

And dreams come true.

Exist.

Carry One

New year never means going back to zero and start again. It means carrying over, carrying on, and being responsible of the past so that you can move on, hopeful for the future.

A blessed year ahead!

Tayo na Pinili Natin

Pinipili daw ang kaibigan
Kaibigang pagpupunlaan ng tiwala
Tiwalang sasandiganan ng pagkakaibigan
Pagkakaibigang walang hanggan

Nasaan ka na ngayon
Ngayon na hindi kaylanman
Kaylanman magiging kahapon
Kahapong gaya ng bukas

Nagkulang ba tayo
Tayo sa isa’t-isa
Isa’t-isang hindi tayo
Tayong di ikaw ni ako

Batid ng puso ko ang ikaw
Ikaw na di nagkulang
Nagkulang sa paggiging kaibigan
Kaibigang maaasahan

Ngunit bakit ganito
Ganito ang ngayon
Na di na gaya ng dati
Dati maging nang bukas

Walang sagot sa mundo
Mundong mapaglaro’t mapanglito
Mapanglitong manggagaling sa’yo
Sa’yo ang isasagot ng mundo

Kung ang mundo ay walang sagot
Sagot na hanap sa’yo
Sa’yo na tanging totoo
Totoo at ikaw ang aantayin ko


Para sa iyo Totoong Kaibigan

Panibagong Pasko

Pasko na naman.
Unang pasko ko na seminarista ako.
Bakit tila kakaiba ang pasko?
Baka naninibago lang ako.

Masaya ba o malungkot?
Excited ba o matamlay?
Payapa ba o Magulo?
Baka naninibago lang ako.

Ngunit hindi nga ba?
Hindi nga ba ito ang hatid ng pasko?
Ang paninibago.
Ang pababago sa puso ko.

Panahong bago ang lahat.
Napawi ang bawat kalungkutan pati saya.
Nabura pagkatamlay at pagkabigahani.
Bagong muli ang lahat sa Kanya.

Bagong muli ang lahat.
Nang dahil sa Kanya.
Sa pamamagitan Nya.
Sa pagsilang Nya.


"See I make all things new." These were the words of Jesus as he carries the cross to Calvary. As we celebrate this event of Christ renewing our lives ones again, may we live life looking through the renewed eyes of faith, hope, and love.

Mapagpanibagong Pasko sa ating lahat.

Veritas

"

Truth is simple.
It's so simple that whenever I would try to justify nor define it, all the more it becomes complicated.

"

O.P.

Yesterday morning, boys from Don Bosco Mandaluyong came to experience a short vocation orientation before going to Batulao for their retreat. I was asked to give my vocation story, and if possible, make it short (for whenever I would be asked to relay my vocation story, it would take me 30 minutes or so) – I told them to give me just 5 minutes this time (oh diba very short!)
While the program was going, I was thinking about what to share to these people, something short yet something substantial. And I thought of sharing a very own reflection about some lines that struck me sometime during my meditation – I shared only my reflection.

“If you seek life in the land of death you will not find it. Can there be a blessed life where life itself doesn’t exist?” –The Confessions of St. Augustine

These lines speak about being “Out of Place.” And being out of place means being uncomfortable, that would most probably lead us to being miserable. We will always be in a continuous “search and find” state in dealing about our being "In Place," in the right place. It also seemed to be similar to the message of Michael Smith’s composition, “My Place in this World.”

“Looking for a reason
Roaming through the night to find
My place in this world
Not a lot to lean on
I need Your light to help me find
My place in this world”

Where is your place in this world?
Where are you now?
What’s next for you?

I’ve found my place for the moment and yet still searches for it. May you continue to “search and find” yours.

My Hope

Hopeless, I now feel
Everything seems to be meaningless
I am discouraged

Kneeling, I prayed hard
Looking around everywhere
I am in struggle

Blue and white, natures of hope
It’s then I knew it was you
And I hoped again


Mary assumed into heaven body and soul. Pray for us.

Equilibrium

People come and go
Today their here
Tomorrow their gone
Most of the time, for a reason we don’t understand

The reasons may be as simple as this
And maybe as big as that
For us, maybe significant
For him, maybe totally not

Nothing is certain
And nothing will be
You might try to build something now
But for how long it’ll last, wait and see

Yet behind these truths
You continue to love
Your past reminds you of your trying
And now you’re trying ones again

Say, there’s no harm in trying
But hurt in trying there’s
It’s just a matter of faith, hope, and love
And how you can ease the hurt for him up above

Never feel empty because of him
You would never know if he also feels empty because of you
Don’t even be tempted to think that you’re the only one hurting
You would never know how hurtful the situations were for him

Offer you hurt and never think that you’re alone
You would never know his intentions and motives
Maybe he’s also hurting for you
You would never know


"Equilibrium" is dedicated to Sem. Chino Reyes.
Thank you for being such an inspiration.

Bukas'Yon

Dalawang buwan na magmula nung pumasok ako ng seminaryo.
Masaya? boring? Malungkot?
Siguro oo.
Siguro minsan.
Siguro hindi.
Pero ang buhay sa seminaryo ay walang pagkakaiba sa buhay sa labas nito.
Masaya? boring? malungkot?

Hindi ba't ganun nga din ang nangyayari sa labas.
Hindi ibig sabihin na nasa seminaryo ako'y hindi ko na kayang gawin ang nagagawa sa labas nito.
Dito nag-aaral din.
Dito nagtatrabaho din.
Dito naglalaro din.
Dito nagdarasal din.

Ano nga kaya ang mayroon dito na wala sa labas?
Ano nga ba ang mayroon sa labas na wala dito?
Siguro may mall sa labas.
Kami nagshoshopping ng ideas, knowledge, at creativity sa study hall.
Siguro may gimmickan at drinking session sa labas
May shrine naman kami para gummimick at makipagsession din sa Diyos..

Kalayaan?
Hindi nga ba kami malaya sa loob?
Paano nga ba masasabing malaya ka?
Ako, Kami, sa seminaryo, pinili namin maging seminarista dahil doon at sa pagiging ganoon namin nakikita at naisasabuhay ang kalayaan kami kalayaan, sa sarili, sa pakikitungo sa kabataang tulad namin, at malaya sa pakikipag-ugnayan sa Diyos.

Karapatdapat?
Sino nga bang karapatdapat?
Ako? Kami?
Wala sa amin.
Wala sa atin.
Ang bokasyong ito ay hindi patungkol sa atin.
Ngunit tungkol sa Diyos na tumatawag sa atin.
Sa kabila ng natural at likas nating pagkakasala.
Sa kanila ng ating likas na pagiging makasalanan.
Hindi tayo kailanman magiging karapatdapat
Pero kaya nating subakan maging karapatdapat.

Handa?
Sino nga bang handa?
Wala naman amin.
Wala naman sa atin.
Pero ang alam ko lang.
Kaya nating paghandaan ang pagiging handa.

Hindi pa sikat ang araw, kami’y gising na.
Ang iba sa inyo, baka naghihilik pa.
Hinaharap naming ang bawat araw.
Nag-aaral.
Naglalaro.
Nagdarasal.
Mahirap pero masarap.
Boring, nakakamiss, at malungkot minsan.
Pero kung babalikan ko yung araw na sinagot ko ang tawag ng Diyos.
Yung araw na dama ko, nasa tabi ko talaga s’ya at naghihintay lang sa sagot ko.
Siguro wala ng saya na hihigit pa.

Once It's Gone, It's Gone

It’s my third week in the seminary, enjoying my studies, works and prayers. But actually, I am really disturbed by what is happening to some people that I left in Manila; some people very close to my heart.

Every morning, and I mean every morning, during my morning meditation in our lauds, I never forget to pray for them.

Actually I am just thinking of one very special person right now, and he was even in my dreams during the past nights of my sleep. I regularly pray for him during the past year when we were not seeing each other. He was a very big help in my vocation, because of him, I learned to accept things that are far beyond my control.

Although I never knew the reason why he left, I kept on believing in him, that he left for a better reason; a reason that would benefit both of us. And I think, this is one sweet fruit of his intention; my vocation was confirmed and I finally dared to answer God’s call.

The night before I would enter the seminary, I wanted to talk to him even for the last time. To settle things that had happened before, to close issues that should be closed, and to thank him for many things, for everything, but for some reasons I’m still afraid that he would refuse to talk to me.

It’s been a year since the crisis in my vocation happened yet everything is still fresh to my mind. I think one year is enough to wait for something that I expect to come, but now I feel discouraged that things won’t be happening the way I expect them to be.

Bro. Noel gave us a sermon last night in the study hall about the proper use of time. The time lost cannot be brought back, even if you make up for it; you’re making up for it at the present. “Once it’s lost, it’s lost.”

Maybe it’s enough. One year is one year, and it’s time to move on and leave the past to the past. Now, I’m leaving everything to that special friend. I don’t want to be unfair to the God to whom I chose to serve, to love and to give my whole life. But rest assured that he is always in my prayers.

Sweet Goodbye,

Kuya

saLAMAT

Sa totoo lang hindi ko alam kung paano ko isasablog ang nararamdaman ko ngayon. Habang inaalala ang lahat ng pinakamasasaya at pinakamalulungkot, ang mga pinaka masasakit at pinakamahihirap na sitwasyong pinagdaanan natin, ang pinakalito at pinakagulong pagpiling hinarap ko, alam ko nandyan ka lang para sa akin, para sa atin.

Kapag daw nasusugatan tayo at naghilom ang sugat, mayroong markang natitira. Isang peklat. Isang natural na palatandaan ng sugat, ng sakit at ng nakaraan. At tandang-tanda natin kung kailan at sa paanong paraan tayo nasaktan at nasugatan. Pero hindi lang daw pala sugat ang nagmamarka. Pati pala ang pagsasama. Kung paano kang naging bahagi ng buhay ng isang tao. Kung paano kayo naging hugutan ng lakas ng loob sa bawat isa. Kung paanong kadamay ka n’ya sa pagkabigo at pagkasawi. Tila nagiiwan ka rin ng isang marka. Nagiiwan ka rin ng isang lamat sa puso nya. Hindi ba’t tandang-tanda mo rin at malinaw sa’yo kung paano s’yang naging bahagi ng buhay mo?

Ganyan daw ang pagpapasalamat. Sa bawat salamat ay may pagbabalik-tanaw. Sa bawat salamat ay may lamat. At alam na alam natin sa kung paano naging bahagi ng buhay natin ang taong yon. Sa bawat pakikipagkilala ay mayroon ding pagpapaalam. At ngayong aalis na ako. Sana alam mo kung gaano ka naging malalim na lamat sa puso ko. Isang lamat sa buhay ko.

Sa mga pinakamalalapit sa puso ko, mga kaibigan na tinuring kong kapatid, ang iba tinuring kong kuya at ate, minsan ang iba para ko pang magulang. Alam mo ba, inspirasyon kita. Sa kung ano ako ngayon ay kasama ka. Sa kung sino ako ngayon ay isa ka sa dahilan. Nagbalik-tanaw ako sa ating nilakbay. Habang tinatanaw ko ito, naisip kong hindi pala ganoon kapatag ang kapatagan, hindi pala ganoon kapayapa ang dagat, may mabatong parte parin pala kahit na ang pinakamalinaw na sapa, at hindi rin pala madaling akyatin ang bundok. Pero ang lahat ng ito nadaanan na natin. Nadaanan nating magkasama. Ikaw at ako. At naisip ko din na hindi pala naging ganoon kahirap, kasakit, kagulo ang lahat. Dahil nariyan ka. Dahil kasama kita.

[Habang yakap ako isa-isa ng mga kaibigan ko nang mga sandaling iyon, pilit kong tinatanong ang sarili ko sa kung paanong paraan nga ba ako naging bahagi ng buhay nila at sila sa buhay ko. Hangad kong ipagdasal n’yo ako at lahat ng seminarista na nawa’y masunod namin ang kagustuhan ng Diyos sa aming kanya kanyang bokasyon.]

Salamat sa lamat.


Kalakbay ng kabataan,

Sem. Ron Abriel A. Evangelista
Salesian Seminarian

Inlab ka ba? Ako OO.

Kanino?
Sa kanya?
Wow!
Mabuti ka pa.

Holding hands na,
May kiss at hugs pa.
Love mo ba sya?
Yeekee, ang sweet naman.

Ako?
Inlab din ako.
Sana nga lab ko sya.
Kasi s’ya, lab nya ako.

Ang hirap nga lang minsan,
Gusto ko din ng kiss.
Gusto ko din ng hug.
Pero wala akong nakukuha.

Ang hirap n’yang mahalin.
Madaming luha at sakit.
Minsan nga nagdududa na ako
Mahal ko nga ba s’ya?

Minsan gusto ko nang sumuko
Pero kapag nakikita ko sya,
Nakabayubay sa krus,
Walang duda, Inlab parin ako sa kanya.

manSANAs

Lord, andito yung mga sanas ko. Mga sanas mula sa puso ko. Iniiwan ko sana sya sa'yo. Para pag-alis ko, all these sanas maioffer ko sa'yo.

Sana si Mommy wag malungkot sa pag-alis ko. Para sa'yo naman to dba.
Sana si Kuya Janmapili na yung right work for him. Kung pwede yung gusto nya talga.
Sana si Rina maging masaya pa with her friends at sana maging mas close pa sila.
Sana si Jason wag mapagod sa pagseserve even the smallest way to help. Iguide mo sya.
Sana si Cholo lumaki na. Kasama na rin dun yung holistic growth nya.
Sana si Kuya Gary hindi na masyadong mapressure sa work nya.
Sana si Imman pumayat na. Sana mas maging masayahin pa.
Sana si Jhed cool lang kahit pinapagalitan. Darating din naman yung time nya.
Sana si Igy laging may peace of mind and heart. Nandyan ka lang naman para sa kanya.
Sana si Kiel in-love muna sa studies bago main-love sa mga girls nya.
Sana si JM maging matatag pa sa mga hamon ng life. Malaki ang inaasahan ko sa kanya.
Sana si Mikky okay ang maging takbo ng studies at love-life. Alagaan mo po sya.
Sana si Luis magenjoy sa career na pinili nya at matupad ang mga dreams pa nya.
Sana si AJ hindi na malito sa bokasyon nya, at sana pumayat na rin sya.
Sana si Jerome mag grow pa at mas maging clear sa kanya ang vocation nya.
Sana si Jesser maipagpatuloy ang pagiging servant-leader sa USTE at san man magpunta.
Sana si Martin manatiling ”iba-sa-iba”. Sana nga maging sila na ni Chesca.
Sana si Kate maabot ang marami pa nyang pangarap para sa pamilya at sarili nya.
Sana si Rex sobrang laging okay. Marami akong utang at ipinagpapasalamat sa kanya.
Sana si Leo manatiling nakakapit sa principles nya at di maguluhan sa pulitika.
Sana si Dave maging inspirayon sa mga peers nya. Lalo na kapag naglead na sya.

Narito ang mga sanas ko sa mga taong pinakamalapit sa puso ko, Sana lang. Sana nga. Paano ko man sabihin, gaano ko man hangarin. Ikaw parin Lord ang pupuno sa kakulangan ng mga sanas na yan. Sana sa pagiging wala ko sa piling nila, mas maramdaman ka'ng working sa buhay nila.

Isn't Parent's Day Yet

I was with Kate last night chatting over a Banana frapp. We haven't seen each other for quite a long time since 2005 when we were still giving retreats in Quezon City. So many stories and sharings, then one moment I was struck on what she said, "A good priest is produced through good parents." Then she left and went to the ladies room.

Thinking about it for a while, I remembered Mommy. I imagined her and how hard it is for her to race a family without Daddy on her side since he passed away 12 years ago. Where does she get her strenght all this time? If it's from us her children particularly me, I wouldn't be worthy of being one.

My mom is my Superwoman! What I am now is because of this Superwoman. And Kate was right, I owe everything to mom. Thanks Mom, Thanks Dad. I love You.

Perwel

Ikaw na [Naging] Bahagi Ko
Ron Evangelista

Gusto kong magpaalam sa iyo
Ikaw na naging malaking bahagi ng pagkatao ko
Hindi dahil sa hindi na tayo muling magkikita
Pero dahil sa gusto kong malaman mong mahal kita

Minsan ko nang ginamit ang mga katagang ito
At muli kong gagamitin ngayon sa paglisan ko
Naging malaking bahagi ka ng pagkatao ko
Sa kung ano ako ngayon ay kasama ka sa pagiging ako

Hindi biro ang ating naging pagsasama
Maraming luha at maraming ring tuwa
Maraming unos at maraming muling pagbangon
At sa lahat ng iyon ay nais kong muling lumingon

Nais kong sabay natin alalahanin
Alalahanin kung paanong minsan tayong nagkapiling
Kung paanong sa mga balika’t koy lumuluha ka
At mga sandaling sa mga bisig ko’y yakap ka

Di maiiwasang magkaalitan paminsan-minsan
Ngunit kung sa alitan mapapatibay ang ating pagkakaibigan
Hahayaan ko na lamang puso’y masaktan
Nang ang lamat mo kailanma’y di malimutan

Sa aking mga kasalanan nais kong humingi ng tawad
Tawad na kay tagal hinangad ng puso ko
At sa aking pag-alis ay nakatitiyak ako
Wala na akong sama ng loob sa iyo

Hangad kong ipagdasal mo ako
Na maging tapat sa aking bokasyon at sa diyos
Siyang ginusto kong paghandugan ng buo kong buhay
Buhay na sya rin ang sa iyo at sa aki’y nagbigay

Sa diyos ko utang ang lahat
Sa kung bakit kita mahal at nakasama ay dahil sa kanya
Siya na ang ating tagapamagitan mula ngayon
At sa aking mga dasal lagi kang naroroon

Salamat sa mga taon at pagkakataon
Salamat sa mga sandali at sa pananatili
Salamat sa pagtitiwala at sa di pagbaliwala
Laging hangad ng puso kong sa iba rin, ika’y maging biyaya

Ooops! Still Passing Through

You, yes you.
Still passing through?
Mahirap ba?
Okey lang yan. Kaya mo yan.
It's normal na malito.

Sana sa pagkalito,
May natututunan tayo.
Sana sa paghahanap,
May paglagong naipalalaganap.

You're in the context (or sana nasa context parin),
Do not worry, do not be afraid.
Take your time, wag magpapressure.
Do not let anyone bring you down.

You have an extraordinary gift,
A gift far beyond what the mind can think.
A present deeper than the heart can dig,
A world bigger, wider and greater than the ordinary.

Kaya congrats sa'yo!
Congrats, dahil pinili mo na.
Pinili mo nang maging totoo,
Pinili mong yakapin ang isang mundong nakahihigit sa'yo.


Lord, grant us
Eyes that longs to see the truth,
Ears that yearns to hear your call,
Lips that proclaims your glory,
Hands that are ready to help,
Feet that defies distance only to follow you,
That as we pass through this stage of adolecense, we may keep you in our company.

The Goggles' Struggles

Life is equated to struggle.

You have yours, I have mine.

Different people, different struggles and different dreams.
I struggle to be good and to be holy.
But, pondering upon my struggle, I realized that:

I can only but try,
I can only but struggle, and
I can only but trust.

Try to achieve my dreams,
Struggle with my intentions, and
Trust only to my God.

How about you?
What's your struggle?

"We can only try. And when we reached our extent, then we've already fulfilled God's mission for us. Rest in God. Trust that he will continue our struggles. May God grant us his peace; a peace the world cannot give."

Servant-leaders: Born for Greater Things

What does the word servant-leader speaks about? In grammar, this is a compound noun, a paradox particularly; two words joined as one so that another word may arise; a new word, a new identity and a new and better purpose.

A servant is defined as a person working in the service of another. It is also synonymous to the word “slave,” a person that is in obedience of another individual. A leader is distinct as the one who is in charge or in command of others. He may also be a guide and a director of his subject (the one under his authority).

It is quite paradoxical and unconvincing to see a word exists such as “servant-leader.” It contradicts the meaning and the purpose of both words. Well it’s already given. So believe because there is such term and such people! Or? Are there really such people? Hmmm?

Oh! I know one person, or may I say, “one who had become a person”. He is the pride of the human race, no one else but God himself trough Christ. Jesus is the perfect epitome of servant-leadership. And he says; "whoever would be greatest among you must be servant of all." Mk 10:43-44, understand that no one can surpass nor attain God’s servant-leadership, but we can always “Try.”

Are you in to be a servant-leader? Then you must learn how to serve, how to be a servant, how to be a person that submits to the will of God, how to be a man committed to his duty and how to be a man of great purpose. “For in great service comes great responsibility and in great responsibility comes a great leader.”

As the motto of the seminarians and bosconians in Don Bosco Canlubang goes, “Ad majore Natus” which means; born for greater things. Leaders of today, you are challenged to choose the better things for you are bearers of Christ’s example of perfect servant-leadership.

*To the newly elected student leaders of Don Bosco Mandaluyong, you are channels of God’s love for the young, you are born for greater things, may you choose the better things. God gave you the opportunity to serve your fellow youth, make him proud!

You are Mine

I will come to you in the silence,
I will lift you from all your fear.
You will hear my voice,
I claim you as my choice,
Be still and know I'm here.

Do not be afraid, I am with you.
I have called you each by name.
Come and follow me
I will bring you home;
I love you and you are mine.

I am hope for all who are hopeless,
I am eyes for all who-long to see.
In-the shadows of the night,
I will be your light,
Come and rest in me.

Do not be afraid, I am with you.
I have called you each by name.
Come and follow me
I will bring you home;
I love you and you are mine.

I am strength for all the despairing,
Healing for the ones who-dwell in shame
All the blind will see,
The lame will run-- free,
And all will know my name.

Do not be afraid, I am with you.
I have called you each by name.
Come and follow me
I will bring you home;
I love you and you are mine.

I am the Word that leads all to freedom,
I am the peace the world can't give.
I will call your name,
Embracing all your pain,
Stand up, now walk, and live!

Do not be afraid, I am with you.
I have called you each by name.
Come and follow me
I will bring you home;
I love you and you are mine.

It's Heart's Day

[This poem is dedicated to the people who inspired me for the whole year of 2005; those who stayed and those who left. Thank you.ü]

Wish Granted

“If you wish you can make me clean.”

Just a reflection about this line; I was struck hearing this line from today’s gospel. It reminds me of forgiveness. If you were in the position of Jesus, what would you feel if a leper would say this to you? What would you feel when a friend that hurted you says this?

Everyone was given the talent to forgive. Use it. Just as we see our friends who hurted us, who betrayed us in the person of the leper saying, “If you wish, we can start all over again. If you wish, we can still be friends.” We can forgive only if we would be willing, only if we wish to do it.

In your heart, you can still clean the image of the people who hurted you; only if you wish.

God be with you.

Juventus

A Friend, An Acquaintance

There is a difference between being an acquaintance and being a friend. An acquaintance is someone whose name you know, who you see every now and then, who you probably have something in common with and who you feel comfortable around.

It's a person that you can invite to your home and share things with. But they are people who you don't share your life with, whose actions sometimes you don't understand because you don't know enough about them.

On the other hand, a friend is someone you love. Not that you are "in love" with them, but you care about them and you think about them when they are not there. The people you are reminded of when you see something they might like, and you know this because you know them so well. They are the people whose pictures you have and whose faces are in your head regardless.

Friends are the people you feel safe around because you know they care about you. They call just to see how you are doing, because a friend doesn't need an excuse. They tell you the truth, the first time, and you do the same. You know that if you have a problem, they are there to listen.

Friends are the people who won't laugh at you or hurt you, and if they do hurt you they try hard to make it up to you. They are the people you love, regardless of whether you realize it.

Friends are the people you cried with when you got rejected from colleges and during the last song at the prom and at graduation. They are the people that when you hug them, you don't think about how long to hug and who's going to be the first one to let go.

Maybe they are the people that hold the rings at your wedding, or maybe they are the people who give you away at your wedding, or maybe they are the people you marry. Maybe they are the people who cry at your wedding because they are happy or because they are proud.

They are the people who stop you from making mistakes and help you when you do. They are are the people whose hand you can hold, or you can hug or give them a kiss and not have it be awkward because they understand the things you do and they love you for them.

They stick with you and stand by you. They hold your hand. They watch you live and you watch them live and you learn from them. Your life is not the same without them.

For Love and In Love

It’s been seven months now since I had my orientation in the salesian seminary. Still I have this question in my mind that never stops asking. “Why are the chores in the seminary daily alike? Aren’t they tired of doing these things without ceasing? And philosophical about it, they’ll perform these acts for the rest of their lives…”

Whenever I would ask people about this one, they would often answer me: “Masaya kami sa ginagawa namin, bakit kami mapapagod?” And when I hear this statement, it just doesn’t fit! Still I cannot understand.

Later, I was thinking of how to get rid of this tiredness in my heart, the tire of loving and of giving. And from there, I remembered the joy and happiness in the seminarians’ daily chore. I tried to empathize in their position. Yes it was quite fulfilling but I kept on asking for a better response from God. Still, it’s a mystery that I cannot decode.

Reasoning on things, I arrived convincing myself that joy and happiness was never complete without love. God’s name was Love. Ill do it for Love and in Love, therefore we do it for God and in God. Yes! This is the answer that I was waiting for. haha

“It doesn’t matter how rigid or simple a chore was done. As long as great love was devoted to do it, it becomes the greatest vocation for man.”

Never Ready, Never Worthy

Last night, I went to Kuya Gary's office. There, I had the opportunity to ask him questions that haunts me every night. "When will I be ready?" "Am I Worthy?" Those questions were followed with his simple and striking answers. "We shall never be READY, we can only be PREPARED." "We shall never be WORTHY, but we can TRY." These words pondered to my mind that moment while he was doing his work.

I was sinful, no doubts about it. I have done grave actions to offend God, yet I thought my charity would suffice the emptiness and hurt in my part. A hypocrite! That is what I am. I feel sorry for hiding myself to the people who are dear to me I was afraid that they won’t accept me for who I am. I was afraid to be rejected. Now, I realized that I can’t please everyone, but because of these rejections I realized that I am able to love myself. I will never attain such point wherein I’ll be ready and be worthy of him, only I can try and prepare.

There is so much to do in such a span of time. I hope it’s not too late to start again.

A Blessed Year Ahead of Us

Isang taon na nanaman ng lumipas sa buhay ko. Isang taong punong-puno ng hamon, paghihirap, lungkot, pagpapakasakit, pagsasaya, pagpapakatotoo, pagpapakatao, paghahanap, pakikinig, pagiisip, pagsisilbi at pagmamahal, taon ng pinakamasasaya at pinakamalulungkot na araw ko sa hayskul, taon ng pinakamahihirap na pagsubok sa bokasyon ko ngaun, taon ng pagtanggap sa mga pagbabago sa sarili ko at sa iba, taong muntik na akong sumuko sa paghahanap, sa pakikinig at sa pagsunod sa kanya, taon ng pananatili. Isang makabuluhang taon sa buhay ko na tunay kong nalaman ang kahulugan ng pagpapakasakit at pagmamahal. Maraming nangyari at marami pang mangyayari.

Tapos na ang taong yaon. Salamat sa mga taong nakiramay, nakitawa, nakilakbay at nakidasal sa loob ng isang taon. Sa mga taong di ko malilimutan sa taong ito,

Dayzers: Salamat sa growth experiences na kasama kayo. Ngunit hindi nananatili sa Days ang lahat. Kailangan din nating maghanap ng ibang growth sa ibang bagay na patuloy na hinahangad ng puso natin. Salamat, tinuruan nyo akong tingnan ang Diyos sa mas simple at masmalinaw na paraan sa pamamagitan ng module ng DWTL.

AJ, Luis and Kate: Salamat sa mga simpleng gimmick natin at get together, sa mga kwentuhan at sharings, sa pagtitiwala ng mga bagay-bagay sa akin.

Mikky at Melvin: Salamat sa mga simpleng trip natin. Sa pagpapakatotoo, at pagiging tunay na kaibigan. Ang pagiging simple ang pundasyon ng pagkakaibigang ito. Manatili kayong ganyan.

Jesser, Rupert, Reevan at Mam Eryan: Salamat sa mga pinagsamahan natin sa trabaho. Higit pa dun, tinuruan nyo akong tingnan sa masmalawak na kahulugan ng pagiging isang lider. Tinuran nyo akong mahalin ang mga kabataan sa pamamagitan ng aking tungkulin.

Jay, Imman, Cholo at Jhed: G3, tinuruan nyo akong hindi mag-isa at tingnan ang bagay sa pananaw ng kabataan.

JM: Malayo man, malapit din! Salamat sa pagdamay, pakikinig at paghilom.

Rex at Igy: saLAMAT. Tinuruan nyo akong bumalik sa at mahalin rin ang sarili ko

Kuya Gary: Salamat sa pagiging isang kabarkada, kaibigan, kuya at ama. Tinuruan mo akong tumingin sa mga bagay na di ko pinapansin at marahil ay di gustong makita noon.

Sa Diyos: Salamat sa mga pagsubok, pasakit, tuwa, galak at sa iba’t ibang mga nangyari sa akin na kasama ka. Sa aking kahinaan, tinuruan mo akong manatili, makinig at sumunod sa iyo. Inaasahan ko pa ang mahaba nating paglalakbay na magkasama turuan mo akong magtiwala sa iyo ng walang pagaalinlangan. Salamat.

Gawin nating puno ng mas masasaya at puno ng paglago ang taon ito. Sana nandyan ka parin para sa akin, at ako sa iyo. Sana ay may bahagi ng sarili ko ang naibahagi ko sa iyo ngayong taon. Nawa ay marami pa tayong gawing alaala na magkasama. Samahan mo akong maging panatag sa mga susunod na buwan. Ipagdasal mo ang aking bokasyon. Upang maging karapat dapat ang sarili ko para sa kagustuhan ng Diyos sa buhay ko. Salamat sa iyo na naging bahagi ko.ü

Ode to Goodbye

These angels left me for a while
I hope they would come back for me
I miss their angelic voices
Their smiles filling my heart with joy

Tell me that you're still with me
Ready to catch me when I fall again
Your soft whispers tickles my soul
When things are not in their proper circulation

Hold my hands once again
Fill the empty spaces between them
I want to feel ones again your warm embraces
Wrap me in your wings like you'll never leave me

I pray to God that he may allow us
To see each other even for the last
It's near that I'll come walking tall
A son embracing his fathers call

A Pilgrims Journey

Pilgrim's Theme

Tired of weaving dreams too loose for me to wear
Tired of watching clouds repeat their dance on air
Tired of getting tired of doing what's required
Is life a mere routine in the greater scheme of things

Through with taking roads someone else designed
Through with chasing stars that soon forget to shine
Through with going through one more day - what's new
Does my life still mean a thing in the greater scheme of things

I think I'll follow the voice that calls within
Dance to the silent song it sings
I hope to find my place
So my life can fall in place
I know in time I'll find my place
In the greater scheme of things

Each must go his way, but how can I decide
Which path I should take, who will be my guide
I need some kind of star to lead me somewhere far
To find a higher dream in the greater scheme of things

The road before me bends, I don't know what I'll find
Will I meet a friend or ghosts I left behind
Should I even be surprised that You're with me in disguise
For it's Your hand I have seen in the greater scheme of things


This song reminds me everything about how my vocation all started. It explains myself and how I feel for God. My direction is uncertain, yet God leads me to the path I chose. I have my dreams, I have my goals but they are all empty. It is he who fills me with everything while I am in my journey. To the people whom God has used to be an instrument in helping me and believing in me, thank you. I will be firm with the help of your prayers. To embrace God's call and not to turn away from it.

A Conversation to my Lord

Lord, there are many things that I do not understand about you.
So many questions that need answers.
You told me that you'll answer these things in time... In your time.
Pero nakakapagod din maghintay.

Lord, ang hirap mong sundan.
May mga times na ramdam kong malapit ka sakin at akala ko hindi ka na aalis.
Pero saglit lang akong lumingon at di ko na naman maramdaman ang kamay mo.
Bakit sa pinakamahirap at sa pinakamasakit na paraan ako kailangang sumunod?

Bakit kailangang mangyari ang mga bagay na ito sa akin?
Bakit ako pa? Marami namang iba dyan. Hindi makasalanan na tulad ko.
Maraming beses na kitang binigo, pero naririnig ko parin ang matamis mong tawag.
Bakit sa kabila ng lahat, pinili mong mahalin ako? Isang makasalanan.

When I feel afraid and lonely, I don't want to call on you anymore.
I feel unworthy because I've offended you many times. Yet you know everything.
When I feel down. Hinahanap kita, pero madalas bakit di kita makita?
When I feel tired. I tend to choose the easy instead of the right way.

Bakit mo hinahayaang mangyari ang lahat ng ito sa akin?
Hindi kita maintindihan. Minsan gusto ko nalang sumuko.
Minsan nararamdaman ko nalang na para akong laruan.
Walang buhay. Ikaw lang ang may hawak. Gusto ko rin namang maging tunay.

Sa maraming taon na lumipas, alam mo kung paano at gaano kita minahal.
Pero bakit ngayon ko tinatanong sa sarili ko, Pagmamahal nga ba iyon?
Minsan ayoko nang maniwalang tunay ka. Dahil nasasaktan ako. Andyan ka nga ba?
Lord, please. Kaylangan kita ngayon. Ikaw na makakapuno ng puso ko.