There can Only be One among Everyone

People are made beautiful, but there is someone among everyone that one could die for though he sees everyone alike. Yet, though all of them are alike, he knows sure who belongs to him. That makes the difference.

Alike to how the Little Prince’s reserves his rose, "…an ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you-- the rose that belongs to me. But in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses: because it is she that I have watered; because it is she that I have put under the glass globe; because it is she that I have sheltered behind the screen; because it is for her that I have killed the caterpillars (except the two or three that we saved to become butterflies); because it is she that I have listened to, when she grumbled, or boasted, or even sometimes when she said nothing. Because she is my rose…" so I know why I reserve my rose among all others.

It is the time I have wasted for my rose that makes my rose so important. And that I am responsible for whatever I tame. I am responsible for my rose.

Storms of Life

Among those marks he left deeply were floods all over the land, stranded civilians in different work places and homes, abandoned cars afloat the hi-ways and streets, destroyed infrastructures costing a hundred billions and still counting, and a death toll of at least less than a hundred victims who at the last moments of their lives surely tried to struggle, hold on, and live, but even the desire for life didn’t actually even matter at all in the end. Ondoy was surely a storm not only of this earth, but of life itself.

That time, I felt so helpless, but to plunge in helplessness was never an option. People who mean so much, something, and everything to me were all in Manila and I had no means of knowing how exactly they were and if they shall overcome. I really tried to be strong. I prayed harder than ever since that was the best thing I could do and to be trusting - that all shall be well - was the best I could be. A series of cups of coffee, - one after another kept me in company until I was sure that they were safe before I could go to sleep. That time, I knew what loneliness meant.

I wished I was a superhero so I can fly and have super powers to secure my loved ones in a safer place. But I couldn’t and won’t ever be. Like a dear friend of mine who messaged me, “I wanted to save all of them but I couldn’t even save one,” I also desired this. But then I realized that I have saved one for the longest time – me. That if I save myself then I save all the possibilities that is me, and to lose it is to lose all that I can be. I guess, I, and even those people who may relate to how i feel fear to lose those whom we love, not merely because we will be left alone and won’t be able to receive love we so long for every moment, but maybe really because we will never get to give our love, our service, and our all to them anymore. This is the greatest tragedy that any storm of this land and of this life could ever leave us with; that we will never be able to know how immortally good we are made of and how strong we are capable to share and to give more of ourselves in our lifetime.

The storms of life may shake our ground, but a greater peace still dwells in our heart. Fear no harm for we are ruled by a far greater love.

A Haiku on New Beginnings

Night is passing by.
When is light coming from where
To clear this darkness?

On the Road Again

What the heart decides is what really matters… so it decides without counterfeit, without fraud, and without lie. And though honestly uncertain about God’s will, I follow my heart and finds in it what my leaving is all about; that my heart still finds itself lost inside a place unknown to it and yet loved by it, that it still longs for something more, for something else, for someone else that it has always tried to seek for years and yet recently confronted with the truth that what it has persevered seeking is never there and is elsewhere after all.

So I’ll go with my heart so sure, yes without regrets, and also with certainty that it’ll miss what it used to do, how it used to live, and who it used to be. So I’ll go in the middle of the busy year giving an impression that my leaving is untimely, but who knows my heart but God alone, I need not explain further. And though my leaving seems untimely, I find it most fitting and perfectly fine to go ahead after a good discernment in front of life’s junction for years. I am taking a path not quite far different from the usual, though one significant distinction from the usual is that I decide to take a road less traveled.

To my formators, my brothers in the seminary, my family, friends and benefactors. I leave with a grateful heart. May the spark of God found in each and every one of you bring you closer to Him by also finding in one another the spark with which yours will ignite brighter, causing you to discover the fire of His love for you. Thanks much for the support, kindness, and affection.

I move on.

Paalam Tita Cory

Maraming Salamat po Tita Cory. Gabayan niyo po kami sa aming paglalakbay nang matularan namin ang iyong buhay. Salamat sa handog ng Diyos na ikaw para sa bayan. Mauna na po kayo. Marami pang kailangang ayusin sa lipunan. Ipagdasal niyo po kami diyan kasama ng mahal ninyong si Ninoy. Hindi natatapos ang laban sa inyong pagpanaw. Muli maraming salamat at humimlay kayong payapa kasama ng mga anghel at ng Panginoong Lumikha.

Our Heart’s True Joy

An inspiring thought from the famous book of Coelho – The Alchemist reads, “Whoever you are, or whatever it is that you do, when you really want something, it's because that desire originated in the soul of the universe. It's your mission on earth. And when you want something, the entire universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”

Isn’t it a marvelous thought knowing that things coincide with one another when we want something? When we know, when everyone knows, that we are fulfilling our heart’s deepest desire. Nothing can stop us to search for our own treasure, not even the most complicated trials or any other excruciating suffering. We endure all these. We endure all of the world’s expectation. We strive to stand on our contradictions knowing that we hold on to the truth in us, and for that we are ready to suffer, to endure, and to bear everything to find our heart. For we know that where our treasure is – our joy, there also rests our heart.

May our hearts rest where true joys are found.

Maybe I Love You Because

Maybe I love you because of so many reasons. Maybe i love you because of this or because of that; or maybe I love with all other reasons in the world altogether. Instead,

maybe I love you because there is only you that I can love like this and no one else; because there is only you that I want to love like this and no one else; because there is only you that I will ever love like this and no one else.

I remain persevering in love.

What am I that You should Love Me?

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” - Marianne Williamson

One Who Makes Me the Real Winner

In the daily manual “The Warrior of the Light” by Paulo Coelho, a line reads: “Victors never make the same mistake twice. That is why the Warrior only risks his heart for something worthwhile.” So let it be that my heart may continue to risk for Someone worthwhile, One who makes me the real winner.

You Know Whose Plans Matter

A dialogue between a friend priest and his vocation candidate goes like this:

P: Hey I thought you would be in the seminary before I come back from holidays.

C: Father, I have my plans.

P: Hey who cares about your plans? Your plans don’t matter.

C: But then father whose plans matter?

P: Don’t ask me. You know whose plans matter.

I perfectly understand. I know whose plans matter. I can relate. I had my own plans too before. But then everything changed when He – whose plans matter – surprisingly came from nowhere in my heart and all of a sudden twist the story of my life I thought I can run myself.

The dialogue is just striking. I never thought that I would have to go back to this thought of asking, “Whose plans matter?” All I know is that I am just being true. I know I need this.

A Rule of Matter

Vocation is actually a continual ‘yes’ to God. Saying ‘yes’ the first instance creates a bigger possibility of saying ‘yes’ the second time around. However, likewise is saying ‘no,’ or ‘not yet’. Vocation is such a mystery that one would never know if it’s really his until that time when one is in front of God. And so, I am saying ‘yes’ to an unknown future ahead of me and likewise I say at some point these days my ‘no’, opening the possibility of a new ‘yes’ to an uncertain tomorrow.

How would one’s hand hold another if one’s still holding someone else’s hand? How can one fill a jar that is full? No two matters can occupy the same space all at the same time. One has to let go of the other so one may hold and fill those empty spaces in between those fingers. One has to empty the jar so as to fill it up with everything one can offer.

Hungry with You, Hungry for You

What love can be greater than to lay one’s life for one’s friend? To give everything? Today is Corpus Christi Sunday. This feast is the celebration of the Body and Blood of Christ continually offered in the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. Just a thought from a good homily I heard this morning. “Di ba kung love mo, pakakainin mo? Di ba kung love mo, bubusugin mo? Kung pwede nga lang, magtake-out ka pa, gagawin mo…” This is how we love. We give. We give the best. And what giving could be better than giving one’s life for the other. Indeed Christ doesn’t only offer us much; he offers us everything by offering himself. In return, I hope our longing and hunger for God is also as much as everything, and translate that longing to fill the same hunger of others as well. And so I ask, what hunger can I fill for others?

I hope I won’t get tired giving and loving anytime soon.

Labimpito

Hindi kita iniibig na tila isang rosas, o isang ,mamahaling bato
Halintulad sa samyo ng isang bulaklak na kauusbong,
Iniibig kita sing-tiyak ng pag-ibig maging ng mga bagay ng karimlan,
Isang lihim, sa pagitan ng anino at kaluluwa.

Iniibig kita na hindi batid kung paano, o kailan, of buhat saan,
Iniibig kita ng matuwid, nang walang halong kaguluhan o pagmamataas;
Kaya’t iniibig kita batid na ito lamang ang tanging paraan

Iniibig kita gaya ng mundong hindi kailanman bubukad
Ngunit pasan nito sa sarili ang liwanag ng mga tagong bulaklak;
Salamat sa pag-ibig mong tiping halimuyak
Sumikat mula sa lupa, at namuhay sa karimlan ng aking pagkatao

Na tila walang ikaw o ako
Sadyang matalik na ang kamay mo sa aking kaban ay aking kamay
Sadyang matalik na sa iyong paghimlay ay mata ko ang pumipinid.

BEYOND THE SEX SCANDAL ISSUE

It is vacation when the sex scandal issue popped out. And since then, I guess, it became featured news on all local TV channels every night. It is personally irritating. I couldn’t believe that people are buying that issue. However, days passed and the issue became the talk of the metro, and worst, I believe is that it became a matter of national interest.

It is alarming to know that there is much catastrophe and confusion brought about by the scandal. However, I believe that there is a deeper issue here than just seeing it as a personal conflict between two persons.

First, by the spread of the scandal I see how low people view physical intimacy. It is as if telling people that “sex is cheap,” that we can buy it for a price too like any other stuff in a department store. Instead, we believe as Catholics that sex is sacred. It is sacred because it is bound by a covenant, a covenant of love which we fondly call marriage. Aside from this truth, we come to a point that we believe that everyone has a power to do anything whatever one wants without regard to another person’s feeling. Sex without the firm foundation of love inside marriage is bound to fail. This may serve as a reminder to people, especially women about one’s responsibility to sexual relationship.

Second, the reaction of the public regarding the scandal is over rated. I guess there is a need of change of perspective, or if possible a change of attitude towards sex. Filipinos are generally brought up bearing the thought that sex is bad, or out of this world. However, I believe that the attitude towards sex can be unlearned by reeducating and refreshing one’s self to its purpose and nature.

Third, the issue has become a venue for politics. Election time is just around the corner and these politicians will get as much publicity as possible even if they aren’t sincere just to gain “pogi points” to the public. I still believe that we have hope. In fact we are hope. Thus, everyone, even non-voters should involve themselves to know whom to vote. We are not just voting people here. We are voting our future.

My reflection ends with a realization that the scandal has become a matter of national interest because the issue isn’t just about some persons involved but because we share the same story with them. The sex video scandal is a reality check to all of us of how we look at ourselves and others, either with cheapness or respect. It calls for a change of view and openness to the topic of sex, and that such issue may be a venue for politicking thus reminding us too of our responsibility to ourselves and the nation.

The Humility of God is the Freedom of Man

Today is the Feast of the Annunciation. We remember how more than 2000 years ago, God asked favor from man. This happened when Mary was asked by God if she could be the mother of His son, through the power of the Holy Spirit.
Mary was asked. She had a choice. Mary could have said no on that popular situation when everyone knew that she was betrothed to Joseph. Instead, she said that sweet “Yes”. And because of that yes, we are saved.
Many times, we are confronted with situations that needed serious decisions, each decision calls for a series of more decision-making afterwards. God’s humility is the mystery of every vocation. That God, who is all, knows each one of us; the all of who we are, what we can do and what can’t. And yet, whenever he calls, the first thing he does is ask, “Is it alright for you…,” because he respects our freedom though He always gives us options.
It deeply moves me to believe that God’s humility is the freedom of man. That God wants us to be happy in whatever decision we choose, whether we choose to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to whatever invitation he sends.

A Long Blank

Am having difficulty in writing for the past months. I leave the blog blank for a while.