One Step at a Time

There can Only be One among Everyone

2009-10-23T20:09:00.004+08:00

People are made beautiful, but there is someone among everyone that one could die for though he sees everyone alike. Yet, though all of them are alike, he knows sure who belongs to him. That makes the difference.

Alike to how the Little Prince’s reserves his rose, "…an ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you-- the rose that belongs to me. But in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses: because it is she that I have watered; because it is she that I have put under the glass globe; because it is she that I have sheltered behind the screen; because it is for her that I have killed the caterpillars (except the two or three that we saved to become butterflies); because it is she that I have listened to, when she grumbled, or boasted, or even sometimes when she said nothing. Because she is my rose…" so I know why I reserve my rose among all others.

It is the time I have wasted for my rose that makes my rose so important. And that I am responsible for whatever I tame. I am responsible for my rose.

Storms of Life

2009-09-27T19:10:00.011+08:00

Among those marks he left deeply were floods all over the land, stranded civilians in different work places and homes, abandoned cars afloat the hi-ways and streets, destroyed infrastructures costing a hundred billions and still counting, and a death toll of at least less than a hundred victims who at the last moments of their lives surely tried to struggle, hold on, and live, but even the desire for life didn’t actually even matter at all in the end. Ondoy was surely a storm not only of this earth, but of life itself.

That time, I felt so helpless, but to plunge in helplessness was never an option. People who mean so much, something, and everything to me were all in Manila and I had no means of knowing how exactly they were and if they shall overcome. I really tried to be strong. I prayed harder than ever since that was the best thing I could do and to be trusting - that all shall be well - was the best I could be. A series of cups of coffee, - one after another kept me in company until I was sure that they were safe before I could go to sleep. That time, I knew what loneliness meant.

I wished I was a superhero so I can fly and have super powers to secure my loved ones in a safer place. But I couldn’t and won’t ever be. Like a dear friend of mine who messaged me, “I wanted to save all of them but I couldn’t even save one,” I also desired this. But then I realized that I have saved one for the longest time – me. That if I save myself then I save all the possibilities that is me, and to lose it is to lose all that I can be. I guess, I, and even those people who may relate to how i feel fear to lose those whom we love, not merely because we will be left alone and won’t be able to receive love we so long for every moment, but maybe really because we will never get to give our love, our service, and our all to them anymore. This is the greatest tragedy that any storm of this land and of this life could ever leave us with; that we will never be able to know how immortally good we are made of and how strong we are capable to share and to give more of ourselves in our lifetime.

The storms of life may shake our ground, but a greater peace still dwells in our heart. Fear no harm for we are ruled by a far greater love.

A Haiku on New Beginnings

2009-08-16T22:36:00.000+08:00

Night is passing by.
When is light coming from where
To clear this darkness?

On the Road Again

2009-08-11T12:16:00.002+08:00

What the heart decides is what really matters… so it decides without counterfeit, without fraud, and without lie. And though honestly uncertain about God’s will, I follow my heart and finds in it what my leaving is all about; that my heart still finds itself lost inside a place unknown to it and yet loved by it, that it still longs for something more, for something else, for someone else that it has always tried to seek for years and yet recently confronted with the truth that what it has persevered seeking is never there and is elsewhere after all.

So I’ll go with my heart so sure, yes without regrets, and also with certainty that it’ll miss what it used to do, how it used to live, and who it used to be. So I’ll go in the middle of the busy year giving an impression that my leaving is untimely, but who knows my heart but God alone, I need not explain further. And though my leaving seems untimely, I find it most fitting and perfectly fine to go ahead after a good discernment in front of life’s junction for years. I am taking a path not quite far different from the usual, though one significant distinction from the usual is that I decide to take a road less traveled.

To my formators, my brothers in the seminary, my family, friends and benefactors. I leave with a grateful heart. May the spark of God found in each and every one of you bring you closer to Him by also finding in one another the spark with which yours will ignite brighter, causing you to discover the fire of His love for you. Thanks much for the support, kindness, and affection.

I move on.

Paalam Tita Cory

2009-08-09T23:52:00.004+08:00

Maraming Salamat po Tita Cory. Gabayan niyo po kami sa aming paglalakbay nang matularan namin ang iyong buhay. Salamat sa handog ng Diyos na ikaw para sa bayan. Mauna na po kayo. Marami pang kailangang ayusin sa lipunan. Ipagdasal niyo po kami diyan kasama ng mahal ninyong si Ninoy. Hindi natatapos ang laban sa inyong pagpanaw. Muli maraming salamat at humimlay kayong payapa kasama ng mga anghel at ng Panginoong Lumikha.

Our Heart’s True Joy

2009-06-30T07:43:00.002+08:00

An inspiring thought from the famous book of Coelho – The Alchemist reads, “Whoever you are, or whatever it is that you do, when you really want something, it's because that desire originated in the soul of the universe. It's your mission on earth. And when you want something, the entire universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”

Isn’t it a marvelous thought knowing that things coincide with one another when we want something? When we know, when everyone knows, that we are fulfilling our heart’s deepest desire. Nothing can stop us to search for our own treasure, not even the most complicated trials or any other excruciating suffering. We endure all these. We endure all of the world’s expectation. We strive to stand on our contradictions knowing that we hold on to the truth in us, and for that we are ready to suffer, to endure, and to bear everything to find our heart. For we know that where our treasure is – our joy, there also rests our heart.

May our hearts rest where true joys are found.

Maybe I Love You Because

2009-06-28T21:10:00.001+08:00

Maybe I love you because of so many reasons. Maybe i love you because of this or because of that; or maybe I love with all other reasons in the world altogether. Instead,

maybe I love you because there is only you that I can love like this and no one else; because there is only you that I want to love like this and no one else; because there is only you that I will ever love like this and no one else.

I remain persevering in love.

What am I that You should Love Me?

2009-06-20T22:05:00.001+08:00

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” - Marianne Williamson

One Who Makes Me the Real Winner

2009-06-18T21:35:00.001+08:00

In the daily manual “The Warrior of the Light” by Paulo Coelho, a line reads: “Victors never make the same mistake twice. That is why the Warrior only risks his heart for something worthwhile.” So let it be that my heart may continue to risk for Someone worthwhile, One who makes me the real winner.

You Know Whose Plans Matter

2009-06-16T21:25:00.001+08:00

A dialogue between a friend priest and his vocation candidate goes like this:

P: Hey I thought you would be in the seminary before I come back from holidays.

C: Father, I have my plans.

P: Hey who cares about your plans? Your plans don’t matter.

C: But then father whose plans matter?

P: Don’t ask me. You know whose plans matter.

I perfectly understand. I know whose plans matter. I can relate. I had my own plans too before. But then everything changed when He – whose plans matter – surprisingly came from nowhere in my heart and all of a sudden twist the story of my life I thought I can run myself.

The dialogue is just striking. I never thought that I would have to go back to this thought of asking, “Whose plans matter?” All I know is that I am just being true. I know I need this.

A Rule of Matter

2009-06-15T09:07:00.001+08:00

Vocation is actually a continual ‘yes’ to God. Saying ‘yes’ the first instance creates a bigger possibility of saying ‘yes’ the second time around. However, likewise is saying ‘no,’ or ‘not yet’. Vocation is such a mystery that one would never know if it’s really his until that time when one is in front of God. And so, I am saying ‘yes’ to an unknown future ahead of me and likewise I say at some point these days my ‘no’, opening the possibility of a new ‘yes’ to an uncertain tomorrow.

How would one’s hand hold another if one’s still holding someone else’s hand? How can one fill a jar that is full? No two matters can occupy the same space all at the same time. One has to let go of the other so one may hold and fill those empty spaces in between those fingers. One has to empty the jar so as to fill it up with everything one can offer.

Hungry with You, Hungry for You

2009-06-14T14:24:00.000+08:00

What love can be greater than to lay one’s life for one’s friend? To give everything? Today is Corpus Christi Sunday. This feast is the celebration of the Body and Blood of Christ continually offered in the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. Just a thought from a good homily I heard this morning. “Di ba kung love mo, pakakainin mo? Di ba kung love mo, bubusugin mo? Kung pwede nga lang, magtake-out ka pa, gagawin mo…” This is how we love. We give. We give the best. And what giving could be better than giving one’s life for the other. Indeed Christ doesn’t only offer us much; he offers us everything by offering himself. In return, I hope our longing and hunger for God is also as much as everything, and translate that longing to fill the same hunger of others as well. And so I ask, what hunger can I fill for others?

I hope I won’t get tired giving and loving anytime soon.

Labimpito

2009-06-01T18:35:00.002+08:00

Hindi kita iniibig na tila isang rosas, o isang ,mamahaling bato
Halintulad sa samyo ng isang bulaklak na kauusbong,
Iniibig kita sing-tiyak ng pag-ibig maging ng mga bagay ng karimlan,
Isang lihim, sa pagitan ng anino at kaluluwa.

Iniibig kita na hindi batid kung paano, o kailan, of buhat saan,
Iniibig kita ng matuwid, nang walang halong kaguluhan o pagmamataas;
Kaya’t iniibig kita batid na ito lamang ang tanging paraan

Iniibig kita gaya ng mundong hindi kailanman bubukad
Ngunit pasan nito sa sarili ang liwanag ng mga tagong bulaklak;
Salamat sa pag-ibig mong tiping halimuyak
Sumikat mula sa lupa, at namuhay sa karimlan ng aking pagkatao

Na tila walang ikaw o ako
Sadyang matalik na ang kamay mo sa aking kaban ay aking kamay
Sadyang matalik na sa iyong paghimlay ay mata ko ang pumipinid.

BEYOND THE SEX SCANDAL ISSUE

2009-06-01T18:20:00.002+08:00

It is vacation when the sex scandal issue popped out. And since then, I guess, it became featured news on all local TV channels every night. It is personally irritating. I couldn’t believe that people are buying that issue. However, days passed and the issue became the talk of the metro, and worst, I believe is that it became a matter of national interest.

It is alarming to know that there is much catastrophe and confusion brought about by the scandal. However, I believe that there is a deeper issue here than just seeing it as a personal conflict between two persons.

First, by the spread of the scandal I see how low people view physical intimacy. It is as if telling people that “sex is cheap,” that we can buy it for a price too like any other stuff in a department store. Instead, we believe as Catholics that sex is sacred. It is sacred because it is bound by a covenant, a covenant of love which we fondly call marriage. Aside from this truth, we come to a point that we believe that everyone has a power to do anything whatever one wants without regard to another person’s feeling. Sex without the firm foundation of love inside marriage is bound to fail. This may serve as a reminder to people, especially women about one’s responsibility to sexual relationship.

Second, the reaction of the public regarding the scandal is over rated. I guess there is a need of change of perspective, or if possible a change of attitude towards sex. Filipinos are generally brought up bearing the thought that sex is bad, or out of this world. However, I believe that the attitude towards sex can be unlearned by reeducating and refreshing one’s self to its purpose and nature.

Third, the issue has become a venue for politics. Election time is just around the corner and these politicians will get as much publicity as possible even if they aren’t sincere just to gain “pogi points” to the public. I still believe that we have hope. In fact we are hope. Thus, everyone, even non-voters should involve themselves to know whom to vote. We are not just voting people here. We are voting our future.

My reflection ends with a realization that the scandal has become a matter of national interest because the issue isn’t just about some persons involved but because we share the same story with them. The sex video scandal is a reality check to all of us of how we look at ourselves and others, either with cheapness or respect. It calls for a change of view and openness to the topic of sex, and that such issue may be a venue for politicking thus reminding us too of our responsibility to ourselves and the nation.

The Humility of God is the Freedom of Man

2009-03-25T18:20:00.000+08:00

Today is the Feast of the Annunciation. We remember how more than 2000 years ago, God asked favor from man. This happened when Mary was asked by God if she could be the mother of His son, through the power of the Holy Spirit.
Mary was asked. She had a choice. Mary could have said no on that popular situation when everyone knew that she was betrothed to Joseph. Instead, she said that sweet “Yes”. And because of that yes, we are saved.
Many times, we are confronted with situations that needed serious decisions, each decision calls for a series of more decision-making afterwards. God’s humility is the mystery of every vocation. That God, who is all, knows each one of us; the all of who we are, what we can do and what can’t. And yet, whenever he calls, the first thing he does is ask, “Is it alright for you…,” because he respects our freedom though He always gives us options.
It deeply moves me to believe that God’s humility is the freedom of man. That God wants us to be happy in whatever decision we choose, whether we choose to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to whatever invitation he sends.

A Long Blank

2009-03-19T23:01:00.002+08:00

Am having difficulty in writing for the past months. I leave the blog blank for a while.

Janus

2009-01-02T00:46:00.005+08:00

Janus was the god of all beginnings and of passages such as doors, gates and bridges. Janus was often depicted with two faces, one facing backwards and one facing forward. One looking back to the past, and another looking forward to the future. Janus represents every new year. New years which are moments to carry on our life to new beginnings, to new doors, gates, and bridges.

I guess, this is not just an invitation to all of us as new years come, but all the more a challenge. Another year has just ended and another year has just came, but the challenge is clear. Let us not be mediocres, content by just being passive to what has transpired and blind to what the future brings.

Mapagpalang Bagong Taon.

2008-12-24T23:50:00.003+08:00

Biyayaan mo kami ng pagtulad sa iyo,
Nang magningning
Bilang 'yong mga Bituin.

Nakakapangliit isipin na ang Diyos ay ipinanganak sa sabsaban. Malayo sa kung paano ang marami ay makataong isinilang di gaya niya. Ang Diyos, nagpapakababa, nagmamahal, nagpaparaya, nagpakatao, para mapalapit sa tao. Nang dahil sa pagmamahal na hindi kailanman kayang pantayan ng kung sino man, natamo ang kaligtasan. Sana maging tulad tayo ni Hesus, ang tunay na tala na nagbibigay ng liwanag sa buhay, bituing sinusundan upang tungo sa katotohanan.

Sinusundo Kita

2008-11-29T07:46:00.007+08:00

By Imago

Kay tagal kong sinusuyod
ang buong mundo
Para hanapin,
para hanapin ka
Nilibot ang distrito
ng iyong lumbay
Pupulutin, pupulutin ka

Sinusundo kita,
Sinusundo...

Asahan mong mula ngayon
pag-ibig ko’y sayo
Asahan mong mula ngayon
pag-ibig ko’y sayo

Sa akin mo isabit
ang pangarap mo
Di kukulangin
ang ibibigay
Isuko ang kaba
Tuluyan kang bumitaw
Ika’y manalig
Manalig ka..

Handa na sa liwanag mo
Sinuyod ang buong mundo
Maghihintay sayo’ng sundo

Asahan mo...
Asahan mo...

Ang Diyos, hindi pwedeng...
nagtatago lang sa kung saan, walang pakialam... hahanapin ka n'ya;
nakatanaw lang mula sa kawalan... pupuntahan ka n'ya;
nag-aalinlangan pang puntahan ka... lulusong s'ya para pulutin ka;
nasa kung saan lang at inaantay ka... susunduin ka pa n'ya.

Big Time Lover

2008-11-20T08:04:00.001+08:00

“We are one human family, whatever our national, racial, ethnic, economic, and ideological differences. We are our brothers’ and sisters’ keepers, wherever they may be. Loving our neighbor has global dimensions and requires us to eradicate racism and address the extreme poverty and disease plaguing so much of the world. Solidarity also includes the Scriptural call to welcome the stranger among us—including immigrants seeking work, a safe home, education for their children, and a decent life for their families. In light of the Gospel’s invitation to be peacemakers, our commitment to solidarity with our neighbors—at home and abroad—also demands that we promote peace and pursue justice in a world marred by terrible violence and conflict. Decisions on the use of force should be guided by traditional moral criteria and undertaken only as a last resort. As Pope Paul VI taught: “If you want peace, work for justice” (World Day of Peace Message, January 1, 1972).”

Justice is such a “big time” word, but I hope it doesn’t only remain just a “big time” word all because justice is hard to explain, to understand, and to practice. A common definition of justice that I often encounter is that, it is giving someone what is due to him. For me, it is justice that brings about peace for from justice starts healing of any loss.

Peace is also “big time,” perhaps, bigger than whatever could be so big we can imagine. Peace is a big possibility that each one has, and one could only realize his potential of radiating peace when he knows how to love, for love is the foundation of peace. I think that if peace is not about love, peace loses its sense.

Love has become so sensationalized and romanticized that it already loses its meaning. As Catholic Christians, we were thought that genuine love is God, and that any relationship apart from God is not genuine love at all. So many people find it difficult to love today, to love through the perspective of God. A common understanding is that, the love you have for yourself is also the love that you give to your neighbor. However, despite the love I can give, I know that if I use myself as the epitome of that love, it ends up to the fact that it’s limited love, and I can only give as much as I have, then it stops there. So, I believe that genuine love only comes from God. He is the perfect epitome of love. Therefore, we can only give the love we have for ourselves if we acknowledge that it comes from the Father, thus giving out that same love to others. We never produce love; we just make possibilities to dispense it. We have no right nor is in any position to boast that we are such loving persons. Love comes from God alone.

We have nothing to offer our neighbor that doesn’t come from God. I believe, this nothingness makes us loyal people of God. Whatever color, whatever state of life, whatever differences; our dignity is one and the same in the eyes of God. That is love “in spite of,” and God in union with His Church calls us to this – “to love in spite of.”

The Encounter with the Lord

2008-11-06T08:26:00.001+08:00

The encounter with the Lord is always a gift, given to those who have the courage and faith to seek Him.

(This was my last message to the vocation candidates of Canlubang when I facilitated their recollection.)

DINggin

2008-11-05T21:19:00.001+08:00

(Ikinatha para kay Chino Reyes)

Huwag kang magtago sa mga ngiti

Ngiting hindi tanaw sa mata

Mata ma’y napapagod din

Buhay ma’y umawit ng lungkot

Lungkot sa kulimlim ng gabi

Gabi ma’y uumaga din

Sa kung sino ay hindi alam

Alam sana ang dahilan

Dahilan ma’y nagtatago din

Saka na lamang arukin

Arukin ang wala

Wala ma’y magkakaroon din

May panahon ang lahat

Lahat na di iisa

Iisa man ay lahat na din

Falling in Love

2008-11-04T12:24:00.001+08:00

“Not only that I love you, but I am in love with you, and I am calling you, inspite of you.” This was the message that was revealed to me by the Lord during our retreat in Batulao on October 17 to 20. It just came to me, and I believed He was there, with me.

God is a personal God. He is my God. More often than not do I veer away from Him, for I always feel that God is too good to be true for me; a reality far away from what I live in. That retreat, my “Ora Decima”, a moment so near to my Lord, told me a different story about God’s love. His love is far greater than what we can imagine, perhaps a greater logic than excruciating sacrifice and suffering. God’s love is always more than anything else we could perhaps understand. It is more compassionate, more forgiving, more persevering, and He loves us all the more to the point of going so deep in His relationship to us; to the point of falling in love with us. And so join me to offer this prayer wrapped in a song, I Beg to Fall in Love with Thee. Let this be our prayer, our response to the God of love, to the God who falls in love with us.

I beg to fall in love with Thee, my Lord with every breath of life I take. I beg to fall in love with Thee, my Lord, its every beat, I to Thee forsake.

For even if my thoughts fall short of knowing You, and even if my will runs terrified, Your passion thins the darkness of my soul, shed it light, breaths it life, stills the murmur of the night.

I beg to fall in love with Thee, my Lord with every breath of life I take. I beg to fall in love with Thee, my Lord, its every beat, I to Thee forsake.

For even if my heart falls short of loving You, and even if my spirit hides away, Your love for me surpasses all my fears, all I do, all I am, all that I can ever be.

I beg to fall in love with Thee, my Lord with every breath of life I take. I beg to fall in love with Thee, my Lord, its every beat, I to Thee forsake.

I was just reaffirmed that God could still call me and embrace me despite everything that I had done in the past; my infidelity, my despair, my selfishness. I still ask the same questions since I entered the seminary, “God are you really calling me here, to this life?” or at times of despair, “Lord, are you still calling me? There were many answers, all of them centered towards the revelation of His love to me, but this past retreat was quite different from the past love notes we sent for each other. It was a humble God whom I encountered those days. His answer was, “YES. I am calling, you inspite of you.” I wept and recalled the times when I was so broken and was healed by God. There were many instances that God did the patching and stitching of my wounded heart, but still I was skeptic about the call. In the middle of the retreat did I realize that the greatest proof that God really really loves me was when he gave me the gift and the desire to persevere in my vocation. I thought that it was more than enough, and was something that will keep me go through the difficult road ahead of me.

May God bless us more and more.

World Youth Day 2008 in Sydney, Australia

2008-07-29T21:25:00.001+08:00

World Youth Day (WYD) is the largest gathering of young people coming from all over the world to celebrate faith in a more youthful encounter. It is celebrated annually in Rome and goes international every 3 years. For this year, it was held in Sydney, Australia on July 15-20 wherein I was privileged to be part of as pilgrim.

Australia has a 26% rate of baptized Catholics. This number indeed speaks about plurality in a 23 million population with 5.1 million people sharing the same faith and practices. Though a big mass of believers are these Catholics, more people there are more focused to others things rather than Catholicism or other faith at that. Am not quite sure, but maybe this could be one good reason why the Church also decided to celebrate WYD there, to renew the faith of the people through the grace of God and the Spirit.

“You will receive the power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you and you will be my witnesses.” (Acts1:8) This passage occurs after the death and resurrection of Jesus, just before his ascension to the Father. It represents the birth of the Church. This is the central theme WYD08. It says many things about what’s happening today to the society, to the world, to the young. The theme per se invites everyone, starting from young people to be born and reborn again in their Catholic faith, an encouragement that challenges and at the same time empowers us to rebirth our beliefs and aspirations again and again to a God that never stops loving over and over again. It is an invitation to love and to be witness of love that which empowers us and makes us hope, believe, and live our faith centered to Love. This encapsulates the message of WYD08 for me as this entry also brings together all the reflections in my heart for the past three weeks of being there.

Indeed the Pope and WYD is inseparable, and though inseparable WYD doesn’t belong to any pope. WYD belongs to the Church. It belongs to the young. This is what makes the Church young, the young itself. As John Paul II would say it, “The youth is not the future of this world, they are the now.” Young as we are, we hold in our hands the power to create the possibilities that we are. Popes pass just like other leaders do, but for sure there would be more World Youth Days to come after the next which would be in Spain on 2011 because the fact is, WYD is not the Pope’s event but the youth’s.

Reasonable Rigidity in the Seminary

2008-06-17T21:30:00.001+08:00

The rigidity of the seminary rules has become more reasonable nowadays. Reason is an important ingredient in doing things. Though the seminary structure dwells on forming the being, the external reasons for doing things should necessarily be reasonable or else, our doing becomes empty acts of compliance - just compliance.

Rigidity might be something too tough a description of what the rules are, nonetheless rigidity here could be tantamount to Don Bosco’s love for work and temperance. It is a rigidity that fosters self-responsibility, particularly temperance - delaying any form of gratification in even short moments of idleness for there is time for everything.

Wanted: Father, Teacher, Friend, Guide… Provincial Superior

2008-06-17T21:00:00.001+08:00

June 12, 2008. Fr Eligio Cruz, SDB was appointed and accepted as the New Provincial Superior of the Salesian Philippine North Province (FIN).

The province faces a lot of changes at the moment as a major revamp of new obediences has been taking place since the start of the year. As the Society observes the signs of the times while answering to all the needs of the houses, the passion and vision of its members remain consistent with the teachings of our father Don Bosco.

Lately, the Former Provincial of FIN, Fr Andrew Wong, SDB has been appointed as the New Regional Superior of Asia-Australia, and in his absence followed the consultation for the next provincial of FIN. After some days of consultation to the different provincial districts and a month of waiting, the New Provincial rises from his rectorship in Mandaluyong.

Fr Eli, as he is fondly called is a man of big heart – a heart bigger than the world. He was my Rector in Mandaluyong way back my high school years. He has been a father, a teacher, a guide, and most importantly a friend to me.

Born with a golden tongue, he is a popular resource person and a great homilist of the Society. He manipulates media gracefully in his propagation of the equality of men and women, the value of work and prayer, the attainment towards holiness, the Preventive System of St John Bosco, and the teachings of the Catholic Church.

There is a world greater than your own, he would often say. From him I learned the value of generosity, suffering, and self-denial. We were taught to become men of influence; of substance; of character. From the award-winning billboards on the city highways to the smallest tarpaulins in the different corners of the campus, he reminds us the core of our Bosconian identity which explicitly empowers us, Ascende Superius!

Homing to His Grace

2008-06-16T21:35:00.001+08:00

As You gave me the desire to offer this, bestow on me the grace to fulfill it.

God-be-ye

2008-04-11T20:54:00.004+08:00

Goodbyes never meant to hurt but to liberate, so they remain inevitable moments throughout the journey. We've said our so many goodbyes in all criss-crosses of life that have been moments of partings and newness of some things, but have we really learned how to say them the way we wanted to? Have we learned to recognize the embrace of goodbye?
As I face another goodbye, let me embrace its hurts and freedom, its noise and solace, its rage and peace. This is the goodbye I recognize - the embrace of goodbye I knew how.
God-be-ye, God be with you.

Nakita Mo Na Ba?

2008-02-27T21:23:00.002+08:00

Titik: Ron Evangelista
Himig: Aries Arevalo at Ron Evangelista
2008-02-27

Nakita mo na ba ang pagsikat ng araw sa umaga,
Ang liwanag na nagpipinta sa langit?
May mga tanawing kay ganda sa buhay,
Na sa pagmulat lamang nakakamit.

Nakita mo na ba ang pagsayaw ng mga puno,
Ang mga dahong naglalaro sa saliw ng hagin?
May mga tanawing kapayapaan ang tungo,
Na sa pagtingin lamang napapansin.

Koro
Hindi man mumulat at di magmasid dahil sa dilim at kaguluhang naririnig,
Naroon parin ako sa hindi na makita at di na madama.

Nakita mo na ba ang dilim ng kalawakan sa gabi,
Ang mga talang nagniningning sa kadiliman?
May mga tanawing nakakamangha,
Na naaaninaw lamang sa pagtingala.

Tulay
Gayunmang hindi mo makita ang buhay na inialay ko,
Sana’y madama mo na pag-ibig ko’y laging naririto.

Koro
Hindi man mumulat at di magmasid dahil sa dilim at kaguluhang naririnig,
Naroon parin ako sa hindi na makita at di na madama.

Koda
Naroon parin ako sa hindi na makita at di na madama.

Isang handog para sa mga humango sa akin sa pagkabulag at tinuruan akong imulat and aking mga mata sa saya at pighati ng buhay. Gagamitin ang awit na ito sa dulang itatampok sa Semana Santa.

Hiwaga

2008-02-18T21:08:00.003+08:00

Ni: Ma. Assunta Caoile - Cuyegkeng

Ibigin man nating pigilin ang paglubog ng araw,
Ang marahanang pagkain sa pisngi ng buwan,
May mga bagay na di matanto at hindi mapigilan.

Ibigin man nating yakapin ang lawak ng dagat,
At sadyang hulihin ang pagkurap ng tala,
May mga bagay na di mahuli at hindi masansalan.

Ngunit kahit ako’y lumayo, huwag ka sanang malungkot.
Taglay mo parin ang aking pag-ibig sa iyong puso

Ibigin man nating abutin ang dulo ng langit,
At ating habulin ang talim ng kidlat,
May mga bagay na di mahabol, laging

Laging isang hiwaga.

Habang ninanamnam ang bawat titik ng mga taludtod, isang tao lang ang naaalala ko - si Miguel Angelo, isang kaibigan. Para sa kanya sana ito. Sayang, hindi ako ang naunang gumawa ng mga titik nito. Malapit sa puso ko ang awit; malapit sa mga naramdaman ko; malapit sa mga pangarap ko; malapit sa kwento ko. Mahiwaga ang pakikipagkaibigan namin. Hindi ko na matandaan ang kwento. Natunaw na yata sa puso at nanuot sa pagkatao ko ang lahat. Laging isang hiwaga parin kung aking babalikan.

Seek and You Shall Find

2008-02-15T20:52:00.001+08:00

Seek and you shall find. Mt 7:7 The process of seeking for what has been here for so long is something difficult. This may sound skeptical but the search for the call to happiness becomes tiring sometimes. Am at ease for now, and am not satisfied with that. And so, I continue the search.

Fathers Know

2008-02-12T20:46:00.000+08:00

Your Father knows what you need even before you ask Him. (Mt 6:8) I have no biological father anymore. For thirteen years, I’ve endured the emptiness of not having one. I don’t know how fathers do things. I don’t know how fathers think, how they react, feel, and show their affection. I can’t recognize a life with a father anymore, so how could he know what I need.
A friend-seminarian tells me his perspective about how he views fatherhood. Fathers are quiet providers, silent doers, responsible, etc. and most of all the exact opposite of mothers (laughs.) In particular, fathers won’t tell you the reason why they do something; they just do it, while mothers do the explanations and lectures when asked.
I don’t know how to have a father, but I guess my experience having a Father Rector helps me get to know fathers more, and gives me confidence that he knows what's best for me.

For a While

2008-02-12T18:47:00.000+08:00

It's easy to come and go, but it pays to remain.

Four Days Seems Forty

2008-02-10T18:37:00.000+08:00

Four days seems forty. The past days of my stay in Manila were like days of retreat, of silencing my system for a while and listen to the loud silence in the place that saw me grew: my home.
I am sick. I was diagnosed to have Upper Respiratory Bacterial Infection. I don’t know how to translate that in English; though manageable it still doesn’t make my situation comfortable.
Rest is the home-court advantage. There’s no place like home. Nothing beats staying on bed for hours doing nothing but rest.
While at home doing nothing, I thought about home. I missed the house. If only it could tell stories, it would narrate how I grew, it would recount the times I fell and was helped to stand, times that I sinned and was redeemed, it would tell my vocation story.
Conversations interested me once in the four days, one’s about God’s forgiveness. Why would God let people sin in the first place and then forgive them? Why would he not just make the world a better place for everyone? Answers came everywhere. God respects our freewill, a gift that cannot be taken away because God doesn’t retract whatever He creates. He never contradicts his Being. He is Perfection at its perfection.
Just some two days ago, I realized that I have been stuck for a long time to the state of waiting, the most boring part of everything. I wait to see beauty again as I shed myself to the gloomy and sad moment at present. I wait to see hope, the same hope I held on some months ago. I wait for love to cover everything.
I persevere.

Lent Na

2008-02-05T21:20:00.001+08:00

This is the theme of my Lent for 2008.

Gabok sa Noo

2008-02-05T20:37:00.000+08:00

Minsang palaspas,
Ngayo’y gabok.
Tina sa noo,
Kulay budhi mo.
Natutunaw sa lagkit,
Sa bungo at isip.
Luhaang mata.
Sumasabay sa agos,
Patak ay puso na.
Makasalanan.

Desisyon

2008-02-05T18:48:00.000+08:00

Yung magsasaka,
Mga punla’y di man lingunin,
Tuwid parin.

I Beg to Fall In Love With Thee

2008-02-04T21:09:00.000+08:00

I beg to fall in love with thee, my Lord
With every breath of life I take
I beg to fall in love with thee, my Lord
Its every beat, I to thee forsake

For even if my thoughts fall short of knowing you
And even if my will runs terrified
Your passion thins the darkness of my soul
Sheds it light, breathes it life, stills the murmur of the night

For even if my heart falls short of loving you
And even if my spirit hides away
Your love for me surpasses all my fear
All I do, all I am, all that I can ever be

Lord, I want to love you. If only I could then, I surely would. My heart is filled with emptiness right now. I see many things not running smoothly. Where is love in those scenes? Learning to love you is a struggle, and if I need to struggle more than what I feel right now, go keep on coming. I don’t want to miss life altogether all because I’ve not loved you. I beg to love you.

In Your Presence

2008-02-01T22:47:00.001+08:00

Yesterday, Feast of St. John Bosco, I offered my application to the third year aspirantate before everyone in the EPC (Educative Pastoral Community.) "In Your Presence" was the theme of the grand mass, seemed timely since the whole discernment for the application was like a retreat - to feel the burning enthusiasm of the gift of vocation and look back to that gracious moment when it felt like forever.

Also, I asked Don Bosco for a gift on the occasion of his feast day. And I think, he surprised me during the grand mass when I read the theme. "In Your Presence" that seemed like "In Your Gift." I knew it was the gift of encouragement he gave in order that I may persevere towards becoming his Salesian.

God Simply Loves You

2008-02-01T18:52:00.000+08:00

A conversation went like this during the afternoon:

Ron: Pare sa tingin mo, kahit na makasalanan ako, mahal ako ng Diyos?
JM: Oo naman. Mahal ka Nun.
Ron: Ang tao maraming batas, pag nagkasala ka parang wala nang pag-asa, pero andyan mahal parin s'ya ng Diyos. Bakit ganun?
JM: Pare, kung ikaw, yun bang ginawa at minahal mo, sisirain mo?

I didn't reply anymore. I got the simplest reflection regarding God's love. And perhaps, whenever I would see that common message, "God Loves You," I would always be reminded that He love's me cause He made me, that He doesn't contradict Himself letting life that came from Him comes to waste, and so He sustains them; sustains them through Love Himself.

With the Heart of Don Bosco

2008-01-30T22:10:00.000+08:00

The present strenna from the Rector Major of the Society says, "Educate the young with the heart of Don Bosco."
Don Bosco died many years ago, but those people who have witnessed his life and holiness knew how far his love could go.

This image is my proposal to the province. It is meant to be a vocation material, yet as I find the need to look back to how he lived his life, it seems that this is more fitting as an answer to the challenge of his successor. And so as I reflect, I realize that am not just aspiring to be his Salesian, but more so aspiring to be his Follower.
Happy Feast Day.

Unang Hirit sa Umaga

2008-01-29T10:31:00.000+08:00

Gumising kami ng maaga, mga alas quarto y media. Gumising para salubungin ang ‘Unang Hirit,’ yung TV show ng GMA tuwing umaga. Sa kasawiang palad, ‘call-off’ ang pagpunta nila.

Madaming nalungkot. Madaming nanghinayang. Madaming nagalit. Madaming nagngit-ngit. Madaming nanisi. Madaming nagsakripisyo ng maraming bagay. Iba’t-ibang dahilan. Iba’t-ibang paliwanag.

Ako, dahil sa hindi nga sila dumating, nagsimba ako sa umaga. Simbang inilipat na sa gabi dapat. Ngunit dahil nga walang dumating ay ganoon na.

Sa aking pagdadasal, naisip ko ang mga tao sa labas ng simbahan. Hindi ko alam ang nararamdaman nila. Ang alam ko lang madami nang tao. At ako, nagsisimba pa.

Hindi pa natatapos ang simba, napangiti ako habang umaawit. Naisip ko, “Ang Diyos parin pala… ang Unang Hirit ko sa bawat umaga.” Kahit na anong ‘call-off’ pa yan.

But Still I See You

2008-01-28T20:38:00.000+08:00

It is always a graceful experience to look back to that blessed day when I felt that my ‘Yes’ to God’s call seems forever. Today, we have had our monthly recollection, and as we were asked to home back to those moments when our hearts burned with great passion to a life that awaited us, much tears rolled before my cheeks.Those where excretion of happiness.

Once, I found God. All the while I sought and followed Him. Today, I acknowledge that He has been with me towards Him.

The song Something More speaks about one’s life seeking for something that is already there, something that was seen once, and something with him all the while:

Beyond my eyes can see,
There must be something more
Beneath the surface rush of things
There’s something else in store
Beyond this daily strife, there must be more to life
An underlying rhyme in things
I must have known before

Before the seasons changed,
Before i grew too wise
I watched the passing clouds
In search of meaning in the skies

I read between the lines
But the verses lost their rhymes
And though the truth has long been told,
I’m still waiting for a sign

Where are you, you whom i seek to know?
Are you the one I’m looking for?
Show your face
Why don’t you break your silence now?
Take the stormy seas within me
Name these shadows trapped inside me
Claim this lost and frightened child you see
In me

Beyond my eyes can see,
There must be something more
Beneath the surface rush of things
There’s something else in store
Beyond this daily strife, there must be more to life
An underlying rhyme in things
I must have known before

I bear my private pains
I go the extra mile
Will you be there beyond this road,
To meet me with your smile?
Before my very eyes you’ll shed your last disguise
And then I’ll realize i need nothing more
That the face I’ll recognize

I found You once. I called others to be my company on the journey towards You. I lead them as I see You before my sight. They follow half-heartedly for they didn’t have a first glance of You. In desperation they all fell through, but still I see You.

Do You Know Where Your Heart Is?

2008-01-25T20:37:00.000+08:00

Ritchie Fernanndo was a Filipino Jesuit who served in Cambodia. Ritchie went to Cambodia in May 1995 as part of his Jesuit training. A teenager named Sarom, a soldier at 16, maimed, and was very naughty has become close to his heart. On a day of October 1995, Sarom came to the school for a meeting, suddenly pulled a grenade from his bag and threatened everyone. Richie grabbed him from behind. Sarom pleaded that Richie be out of the site for he wouldn’t want his mentor to die. He dropped the bomb from behind and in a wink of an eye, Richie was dead.

Ritchie wrote a letter to a Jesuit friend some four days before the incident. And he says, "I know where my heart is," he wrote; "It is with Jesus Christ, who gave his all for the poor, the sick, the orphan ...I am confident that God never forgets his people: our disabled brothers and sisters. And I am glad that God has been using me to make sure that our brothers and sisters know this fact. I am convinced that this is my vocation."

Captivated, I saw this poster in a Tanging Yaman shop promoting the Jesuit Vocation with Ritchie as inspiration. I don’t mean to offend anyone regarding how I felt especially my brother seminarian Salesians, but honestly I was struck by such powerful statements, so enthuse that options in my heart were, reopened, reaffirmed, and revived. Am a seminarian Salesian for two years now, I've considered many things regarding my discernment starting when I was a sophomore in high school, and had a long journey before I reached my state now, yet the query is so relative to me at this point of the journey: is this really where my heart is?

Image from: http://www.companysj.com/v154/onefaith.html

Sumakay ka Lang

2008-01-23T21:31:00.000+08:00

Gaya ng isang Dispatcher ng jeep,
Malakas tumawag ang Diyos.
Gagawin ang lahat,
Sumakay ka lang.

On that Tuesday Night

2008-01-15T21:05:00.000+08:00

Tuesday evenings are reserved for Rector’s conferences. A while ago, he talked about the annual renewal of our stay as aspirants in the formation house. While we were used to talk about our application as something that transcends us above others, he recommends that we look at it as a progression, a continual process towards answering our call towards Him.
I hope that as I examine myself for the next days, God may grant me serenity to answer his call with all prudence, humility to accept and learn from the past, and the faith to look forward and continue the journey. Pray for me.

28 Years is not a Joke

2008-01-14T21:05:00.000+08:00

Rev. Drans arrived this morning. He’s gonna stay here in Canlubang for his retreat in preparation to his very soon ordination to the priesthood on February 2 in SJB Parish and we're gonna be his choir. Rev. Bernard ‘Drans’ Nolasco, SDB has inspired me by his good night talk. His homing back in the seminary is a significant choice for him as he remembers the love story that transpired between him and God in this sacred place. Reverend, 28 years of struggle is not a joke. Yours is my salutary respect and prayers. Congratulations.

Image from http://www.sdb.ph

Newest Get-paid-to Click site Starts at $1 Payout

2008-01-14T09:19:00.001+08:00

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Hinahanap parin Kita

2008-01-13T20:42:00.000+08:00

Hinahanap kitang nanghihikayat
Ikaw ngang tumatawag
Hinahanap kitang nang-aakit
Ikaw ngang nananaghoy

Hinahanap kitang nagtawag
Ikaw na ipinaririto ko
Hinahanap kita pag-ibig
Ikaw na hangad ng puso

Hinahanap kita ng buong lakas
Ikaw na tumatawag sa mahina
Hinahanap kita sa luha
Ikaw ngang tanging ligaya

Hinahanap kita sa apoy
Ikaw na langit
Hinahanap kita sa kasalanan
Ikaw na kapatawaran

Hinahap kita sa kanila
Ikaw na akay ako
Hinahap kita sa dilim
Ikaw na tanglaw na pala

Hinahanap kita at dinudungaw
Ikaw na hinihintay
Hinahanap kita sa malayo
Ikaw na yakap na ako

Hinahanap parin kita

Sexuality: A Response to a Call

2008-01-10T18:49:00.000+08:00

Sexuality transcends much than the usual norm of genital matters. It is a relational power that makes us responsible to enter into other persons’ lives and them to ours.

Sexuality is a response to a call that urges to know one’s self fully so that one could also give freely and serene. Sexuality is a response to be conscious. It is a response to a world that does not foresee effects of what could come about by just letting things happen - a skeptic view of reality, while relationships do not "just happen." Sexuality is a responsibility. It is every person’s responsibility. Hone it. Own it.

Per Severe

2008-01-07T10:14:00.000+08:00

Just a thought: skimming through a book to pass the time, there was this weird feeling when I looked and focused to a line that says much about perseverance. I thought about the etymology of perseverance. Perseverance is rooted to the word persevere. I actually don’t know if this idea that I present existed way before I thought about it, but persevere could be divided into two basic words: per and severe. Per could mean through, taken from its Latin origin. Severe is synonymous to having a definite hardness or severity of nature or manner; being stern for that matter. Having thought of this, the word perseverance would surely give a rich and deep meaning to me even at a glance. Persevere means going “through sternness;” through hardships. It's reaching the peak that inspires to go back to the idea of climbing. It's arriving to the destination that gives the sensation to tell the story of the trip. Struggling is being a sure winner.

2008-01-05T00:05:00.000+08:00

I feel betrayed.
I was confused between reality and fantasy.
I am angry.

What else is not Changing?

2008-01-01T11:24:00.000+08:00

Sometime in the past, the year was new. Today, there is a newer year than that. If there is always something new in everything, that even time longs to have its major changes which affect the whole universe, what else is not changing?

Ianus is a two-headed god. One face looks back and the other looks forward. He is god of beginnings and endings. Sad or happy, bitter or sweet, despairing or faithful, all the extremities of passing motions that could be subjected to fate are all seen by his nature. He sees progressions happen. In all that he sees in the past and glimpses in the future, continuity restores the balance in what is seen – he continues to see even if something in the past or future is hurting, painful, and confusing. What else is not changing?

We’ve seen people changed for better and for worse, time felt passing slowly and rapidly, relationships ended and started anew, promises broken and renewed. What else is not changing?

I say it’s God. If change could be created by someone who is not subject to his creation, it should be someone almighty like Him. He is consistent. His love rises before the sun; his mercy endures and guards creation in the dark; he who grants changes restores everything through love – through Himself.

Defy Darkness with Friendship

2007-12-31T22:14:00.000+08:00

Take nothing but pictures,
Leave nothing but footprints,
Kill nothing but time.

This has been a famous quote in mountain-hiking. As for me, as I enjoy Christmas vacation, I had this privilege to escape from the noise of the metropolis to my escapade at Batangas. The stay highlighted a youthful motive: to hike Mt. Maculot – our resident mountain.

Shooting two birds with one stone, the three-day stay started with the event of a friend’s house blessing and then an unplanned/unorganized/unforeseen trek towards the mountain. I thought about hiking early in the morning of the 30th but since there was this unanimous decision while I was snoring on the bed, we hiked late afternoon of the 29th right after the blessing took place.

We knew that leaving late afternoon would mean that we would reach the peak early evening of that same day. We brought extra shirts and consumable supplies that were necessary for the hike. One necessity foreseen was bringing flashlights since we knew that it would be a late-evening hike down the mountain, but we didn’t take it seriously and so we hiked without any. Actually we thought about ‘divine providence.’ Seems foolish since we defied our foresights right? Anyway, we continued the adventure!

Going up was already tiring and exhausting. Halfway towards the peak, the sunset as if told me that no light would be provided for on top – doubling the effort to hike up is necessary – it was already getting dark. A companion, Kuya Gary led the way to the top. He stopped for a while and called me. Responding to him, he instructed me to turn back and try noticing the trail. I was surprised to see nothing but dark silhouettes. I smiled and said, ‘That was nice, you should have said it earlier.’ Then we went on. Upon arriving on top, we rested for a while. We met co-hikers fully equipped with everything for an overnight stay.

An idea came to us about the possibility of staying since we were tired, but it was too cold up there, no one would survive the night without any fitting equipment. We were tired but we knew that we needed to go down and follow the plan for the day – go down without any flashlights. Good enough that we brought our mobile phones with us, the light might not be strong to guide, but it was the only option to survive. Down the mountain we went, the should-have-been thirty-minute hike down became two hours. We crawled like babies, walked like toddlers and despaired like prisoners. We kept the faith by singing all the melodies we could think of though not the world could imagine, all songs that could kill time, all genres that anyone could think of. We made it to the foot exhausted and almost desperate, but we knew that it was a thrilling, exciting, and memorable experience to be banked on our hearts.

At the end of the day, the famous quote was not realized except for the last line.

Take nothing but pictures, [but we’ve no cameras]
Leave nothing but footprints, [but we couldn’t since it was dark]
Kill nothing but time. [yeah! It was a double dead!]

Thank you Alan, Jesser, Kuya Gary, Igy, and Iman for being my companions during this very unique experience. It was my privilege to be with you.

Pag-asang Buhay

2007-12-31T10:49:00.000+08:00

Taon ng pagbabago
Pagbabagong luma
Lumang nais baguhin
Baguhing panibago

Panibagong buhay
Buhay na ako
Akong nagbabago
Nagbabagong hirap

Hirap magbago
Magbagong patuloy
Patuloy na kailanman
Kailanma’y lalakad

Lalakad ang panahon
Panahon na luma’t bago
Bagong nagiging luma
Lumang minsa’y bago

Bago may lumilipas
Lumilipas parang tao
Taong luma’t bago
Bagong ako

Ako na minsang bago
Bagong magiging luma
Luma ma’y pag-asa
Pag-asang buhay

Ang Drama sa Pasko

2007-12-26T23:47:00.000+08:00

Masaya ang unang pasko. Maluwalhati ang unang pasko. Higit sa lahat matensyon ang unang pasko. Si Maria, nang sabihin ng anghel na buntis s’ya hindi dahil sa isang lalaki ngunit gawa ng Espiritu Santo – Ganun? Espiritu Santo? Sinong maniniwala sa’yo? Ang labas kay Maria, disgrasyada. Kay Jose, masakit na tanggapin si Maria sa ganoon kalagayan, ikakasal na sila sa sandaling panahon – mahirap maniwala kay Maria, masakit kausapin si Maria. Magulo ang damdamin ni Jose at Maria sa unang pasko. Hindi man ipinakita sa mga kwento, marahil kung ikaw si Jose, o di kaya naman ay si Maria, anong mararamdaman mo? May ibibigat pa ba kaysa sa naramdaman nila? Ang drama sa unang pasko.

Madaming bagay na mahirap, bagamat tama. Madaming bagay na masakit, bagamat dapat. Madaming bagay na mapait, bagamat mabuti. Ito marahil ang hatid ng pasko. Isang Diyos na pinili ang hirap, sakit, at pait, dahil alam n’yang ang mga ito ang tama, dapat, at mabuti.

Nativity Picture from: http://i115.photobucket.com/albums/n292/blog_files/Nativity/NativityScene.jpg

Thinking about CHRISTmas

2007-12-13T22:46:00.000+08:00

Problema? Madami!

2007-12-12T20:28:00.000+08:00

Sa Caroling Concert sa DBTI Makati nung Lunes, nagbiro ako sa isang pamilyar na pari:

Father, bakit may mga Salesians na sa unang tingin lang, parang walang problema? Ang sarap nilang tingnan. Parang ang gaan sa pakiramdam - parang ikaw!

Problema? Madami! Pero itinatapon kong lahat sa Kanya (sa Diyos.) Pero sabi n’ya, Oy, magkasama tayo dito ah.

Pinipigilang maging seryoso ang usapan, napatahimik ako, lumayong dahan-dahan at di nagpahalatang naantig ang puso; tinamaan ako.

May katotohanang nananatili sa puso ng paring ‘yon. Alam n'yang kasama n’ya ang Diyos. Ibinibigay na n’ya ang lahat araw-araw. Magaling s’ya ngunit hindi mayabang. Sa buhay-pari n'ya, alam n’yang hindi n’ya kayang wala S’ya (ang Diyos), magkasama lagi sa lahat ng problema.

Masmasarap pala ang pakiramdam na alam mong may kasama ka sa daan kaysa sa pagmasdan ang iba na tila walang problema.

Kwarto

2007-12-11T22:41:00.000+08:00

Ng: Sugarfree

Maglilinis ako ng aking kwarto
Na punong-puno ng galit at damit
Mga bagay na hindi ko na kailangan
Nakaraang hindi na pwedeng pagpaliban

Oohh… Oohh…

Mga liham ng nilihim kong pag-ibig
At litrato ng kahapong maligalig
Dahan-dahan kong inipon
Ngunit ngayo’y kailangan nang itapon

Di ko na kayang mabuhay sa kahapon
Kaya mula ngayon, mula ngayon

May jacket mong nabubulok sa sulok
Na inaalikabok na sa lungkot
May panyong ilang ulit nang niluhaan
Isang patak sa bawat beses na tayo’y nasaktan

Mula ngayon

Ala-ala ng lumuluhang kahapon
Dahan-dahan ko na ring kinakahon
Natagpuan ko na ang tunay kong ligaya
Lumabas ako ng kwarto’t naroon siya

Magpapaalam na sa ‘yo ang aking kwarto
Magpapaalam na sa ‘yo
Magpapaalam na sa ‘yo ang aking kwarto

Sa aking pakikinig sa “Kwarto” ng Sugarfree, isa lang ang naiisip ko – Kumpisal. Ako ang kwarto. Sa aking paglabas-pasok ay pinagamasadan pala ng Pag-ibig. Nandyan Siya, naghihintay pa rin.

Love of my L.I.F.E

2007-12-05T07:49:00.000+08:00

For the past week, we’ve been discussing differences in relationships. They could be categorized in four general fields. We call it L.I.F.E: Love, Infatuation, Friendship, and Exploitation.

Let me focus on love. Love is commonly believed as a give-and-take relationship, but actually it’s never like that. It’s unconditionally a give-give-give relationship. “Nemo dat quod non habet.” Nobody gives what one doesn't have.

An example could be like this: I cry because I broke-up with my girlfriend, but to whom am I really weeping for? If those tears are for me because I feel emptiness in me, therefore I have not loved but more of infatuated since am only attracted to her presence. I feel the need of her presence masked by so many other created reasons. Life is not worth living since she left me here all alone. This is never love but infatuation.

Love your neighbor + as you love yourself. The Lord commands that we should love ourselves, with a condition, “as you love yourself.” This is a very particular commandment from God. He could have just commanded to love our neighbor, yet he gives distinction to this.

The love I project to others is the love I have for myself. This is the same quality of love that one could give to the other. And so, love could only be realized if one is overflowing of love for himself. All the rest of love pouring out from him could be given to the other with the assurance from him of being stable and capable to love always.

Christ Revealed in the Disabled

2007-12-04T10:57:00.001+08:00

It was a grace-filled experience to be part of the People with Disability (PWD) Day in Don Bosco Makati last Sunday, Dec. 2, 2007.

I was a volunteer caregiver of three recipients: Kuya Abe and Kuya Ed who were both lame, and Rochelle who has down-syndrome. I was with them the whole day. Honestly, it was really difficult for me to be a caregiver since am not patient; nevertheless we acknowledged the presence of one another. At the end of the day, we have to separate ways, and say our goodbyes. That ends my task for the day.

It was a tiring day. I did my duty, but at the end of everything, am faced with many questions before the Lord. I did my duty but was I able to “be” with them: to touch their lives for a moment, a moment that could be treasured for a lifetime? Was I able to share my life or just my time and my physical presence? I felt that I missed the point of that day since I looked at it as a mere duty. Perhaps, this also gives me the reason why I respect guardians taking care of disabled people.

I am guilty and at the same time grateful. I felt that I wasn’t able to bring Christ to them; otherwise they brought Christ to me. It shakes me to realize these matters. After that Saturday, my affection for the disabled people sinks to the reserved section of my heart. It was my pleasure being with you Kuya Abe, Kuya Ed, and Rochelle, for God is with you. Thank you for the presence. Thank you for bringing God with you.

His Hero's Journey

2007-11-19T22:48:00.000+08:00

The journey of a thousand miles starts with a step, just as the journey of a hero starts with a decision. The first battles of a hero start at home. There he struggles and learns the primal matters for survival. There he feels the loveliest years of life: a hero’s childhood.

From the home, he travels to the meadows, mountains, forests, rivers; searching for his treasure that home once taught him to realize; a hero in the making. There he fights his battles, side-by-side with the Providence through his heart. He is born to battle. He is a hero.

He thinks about many things in the journey: love, women, sex, entertainment, prayer, and survival with all his heroic prudence. He thinks about anything under the great sun.

Once, he thought about happiness, thought about the love he left, women loved, curiosities passed, friends met, prayers doubted and graced, and how he survived for the time that he has been journeying. He asked and even doubted if he has become, and is happy being a hero. He despairs for a moment, and then again thought about his being.

I am a hero, I fight my own battles. I am a hero, winning means struggling. I am a hero, I didn’t choose to be one, but I was made one by Providence. Am I happy? Not quite, but the extremities of both sides of happiness and despair puts me in the middle and learns the virtue in between. I am happy yet loaded with all the problems imaginary and real that the journey offers a hero: am at ease and still searches for my Providence from whom I could ask for my treasure and thank for making me His hero.

He goes home after a long battle and celebrates his struggles. Either win or lose, he homes back and rest for a while. Gains strength and readies himself for another journey.

You are the hero of many people.
You are the hero of yourself.
You are the hero of the Providence.

Be one.

This composition is offered to a discouraged companion very dear to my heart.

Love Fears Nothing

2007-11-07T21:28:00.000+08:00

What is love? If you'd ask John Denver, he would perhaps say that:

Perhaps love is like a resting place, a shelter from the storm
It exists to give you comfort, it is there to keep you warm
And in those times of trouble when you are most alone
The memory of love will bring you home
Perhaps love is like a window, perhaps an open door
It invites you to come closer, it wants to show you more
And even if you lose yourself and don't know what to do
The memory of love will see you through

Love to some is like a cloud, to some as strong as steel
For some a way of living, for some a way to feel
And someone say love is holding on and some say letting go
And some say love is everything, and some say they don't know
Perhaps love is like the ocean, full of conflict, full of pain
Like a fire when it's cold outside, thunder when it rains
If I should live forever, and all my dreams come true
My memories of love will be of you

Love may not be defined completely by this song “Perhaps Love,” nevertheless my own version tells me that there is a higher choice in discovering love. I think that is the choice to decide: love is decision, and fear is always intertwined with it. The challenge would normally go like, how much love did you give? But more so, how much love would you still able to give without the fear? Then faith is realized.

Di Makausad

2007-10-29T10:59:00.000+08:00

Minsan nga’y may himig na narinig.
Himig na tumatawag at nang-aakit.
Sinasambit ay ngalan kong ibig.
Ako nama’y nakinig.

Madilim at kulob.
Malamig din sa loob.
Dinig pati lagaslas ng tubig.
Sinundan parin and tinig.

Tanging dala’y sarili.
Ni anong ilaw ay wala.
Kani-kanina’y lagusay tanaw pa.
Tanaw dati’t ngayo’y hindi na.

Nasaan ako?
Nanlalamig na’t nagugutom.
Kumukulo ang tiyan
Tila mga kawayang naglalagutukan.

Natatakot sa hindi nakikita.
Nabibingi sa katahimikan.
Gaspang lang tanging dama.
Tinig ay nananaghoy pa.

Di na nga makausad.
Nanginginig sa pagnanais humakbang.
Ayoko na!
Ngunit naririnig parin kita.

In My Despair, Will You be There for Me?

2007-10-12T11:28:00.000+08:00

There for Me
By: Sarah Brightman (duet with Josh Groban/ Andreia Bocelli)

RON:
There for me, every time I've been away
Will you be there for me, thinking of me everyday
Are you my destiny, words I never dared to say
Will you be there for me?
Just think of you and me, we could never tow the line
It's such a mystery just to hear you say you're mine
And while you're close to me, so close to me
Just hold me

JC:
When you're feeling cold and all the city streets are grey
Walking all alone and watching how the children play
Voices in the wind and faces from the past go dancing by
They're asking why

RON and JC:
Will you be there for me, everytime I go away
Will you be there for me, thinking of me everyday
Are you my destiny, words I never dared to say
Will you be there for me?

RON:
And while you're close to me, so close to me
Just hold me

JC:
Can you really want me more than for a little while?
What are the stories hiding there behind your smile?
Wishes in a dream and figures in a world that I could share
And everywhere

RON and JC:
Will you be there for me
Will there ever come a day when all the world can see
Things were meant to be that way
Will you be there for me?
Can you hear the people say
That you're just
There for me

JC:
There for me

RON:
There for me

In my despair would you be there for me JC? When you're so close to me, would you just hold me and let me feel you? If my love fades, would you still love me and hold me? Would you despair with me or strengthen me with your warmth? Would you be there for me even if I couldn't give back and be there for you? JC, do we ask the same questions as we grow in love with one another everyday?

Kanya-kanyang Buhay-lakbay

2007-09-30T18:14:00.000+08:00

Naglakbay kami nang sabay-sabay
Sabay-sabay na nag-iisa
Nag-iisang magkakasama
Magkakasamang ngayo’y iisa na

Bakit tila iniwan na’ng mundo
Mundong dati’y kami
Kaming ngayo’y ako
Ako na lang

Naisip ko’y baka nga ganito
Ganito ang buhay ng tao
Taong nilalakbay ang buhay
Buhay mag-isa sa karamihan

Bumalik ako sa simula
Simula ng paglalakbay nang magkakasama
Magkakasama’y hindi na
Hindi na natagpo pa

Ang buhay-paglalakbay ay kanya-kanya
Kanya-kanyang buhay-lakbay
Buhay-lakbay na akin at kanya
Kanya na naman

Iisa lang naman ang tungo
Tungong hangganan ng lahat
Lahat na iisa
Iisang katotohanan

Pagal ma'y di hihinto
Di hihinto sa pagtungo
Pagtungo sa hinahanap
Hinahanap na iisa

Sa iisa nga’y magkikita
Magkikita sa tungong lahat at isa
Isa na uugnay muli sa paglalakbay
Paglalakbay ng lahat at isa

I Hunger for You

2007-09-28T21:13:00.002+08:00

What love can be greater than to lay one’s life for one’s friend? Today is Corpus Christi Sunday. This feast is the celebration of the Body and Blood of Christ continually offered in the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. Just a thought from a good homily I heard this morning. “Di ba kung love mo, pakakainin mo? Di ba kung love mo, bubusugin mo? Kung pwede lang, magtake-out ka pa…” This is how we love. We give. We give the best. And what giving could be better than giving one’s life for the other. Indeed Christ doesn’t only offer us much; he offers us everything by offering himself. In return, I hope our longing and hunger for God is also much, is also worth our everything.

I hope I won’t get tired giving and loving anytime soon.

Passing E-Motion

2007-09-26T21:33:00.000+08:00

Relationships exist in venues. We’ve our homes which eventually become the normal and primal venue for every sprouting relationship, there we nurture our ties to our family. The school is the venue for camaraderie, there we experience having friends and factions, there we experience the falling and rising actions of life’s physics. There are those places which are very dear to us, those places which we’ve discovered something in ourselves, that eventually triggered by people we’re with. Then relationship exists.

I wouldn’t be able to go to those places for quite sometime. Here comes the nostalgia. Here comes the longing and yearning for something that was me. Here comes the recollection of those friends and acquaintances which have caressed the child within me way back our moments. Though I haven’t been meeting them in those places anymore, the vivid pictures of our moments are kept still in the memory of my heart. Then we progress.

Get Along with the Beat

2007-09-15T20:47:00.000+08:00

A continual drop of water could smoothen even the sharpest edge of a stone.

God knocks to our hearts, he always does, and the least thing we could do is to give-in to His will. Though more often, we would choose to numb ourselves as not to sense the God knocking within, then we miss the point of being invited to join the beat of every knock. There where it is music for those who notice that there is a beat in every knocking, a consolation in every calling, then we get along with it.

Faith is the medium of every opening to God; a complete bet that could make or break us, and yet we are challenged to gamble everything. Anyway, God’s love still drops continually.

Alfred's Psalm 23

2007-09-11T21:28:00.000+08:00

“If we live life without loving God, we miss life altogether.” – Fr. Alfred Cogliandro, SDB +

Today is the 15th death anniversary of Fr. Alfred. I have glanced at posts of some friends in the congregation and most of their posts today speak about Fr. Cogliandro. I have never met this great salesian, but I encounter him most of the time through the good night talks, those moments of grace where I get to acknowledge his wisdom and holiness. The stories behind the holy life that he has lived and how he prepared towards death are all history, but one thing’s sure, he was most prepared to die; he was ready to meet his Creator.

Let me share in Fr. Cogliandro’s thought regarding his motto. I think none of us does things at the same time yet gives the same focus needed. If I choose to do things with certainty, therefore that choice gives the element of surrender to what I might have done on the other given option, and then we miss the other stuff. Only to find out that we’ve also done the other option in another given time, at another given choosing moment. What I mean is that there are things that need to be accepted first before complaining about them. I remember my first weeks in the seminary, I was grumbling greatly about how they (my co-seminarians) do things and how they give variety of reasons about their way of life. After some time, I’ve learned to get along the adjustment struggle and started to seek the reasons in the way of life I wanted for myself as a seminarian.

Yes, we miss things, but missing life would be a devastating truth for someone. Let’s not miss life; let’s not miss loving God.

Look to Your Heart

2007-08-31T21:33:00.000+08:00

“Ron, don’t look at people, they’re bound to disappoint you.” Thank you for this Donnie. I remember him whenever I feel that the world hates me because of some people whom I have not yet learned to accept. While it’s a fact that differences exist in a community, I think respect for each other should always be above the rest of our individual issues. It might sound dysfunctional not to talk about such things while in the heat of an emotional expression, but I think doing so would be prudent and mature. People are animate being, each has his own purpose. It would be objective to examine the self rather than look outside and see nothing true to what the mind senses.

Panatang Manatili

2007-08-31T08:46:00.000+08:00

Dahil pag-ibig ang alay sa ‘yo, mananatili ako.
H’wag nang naising tayo’y mawalay,
H’wag nang isiping
Magwawakas ang paglalakbay.

This is one of the stanzas of “Pananatili,” my "panatang manatili".

One moral I’ve learned in all my coming and going, to and from the hearts of the people whom I’ve touched and have loved dearly is that, they are some choices that I’ve made; the choice to love them and be part of them.

I believe that the seminary walls are not high barracks which distinct the world of the holy and that of the unworthy, but rather bridges where we meet truth and vessels where God’s grace towards our hearts is realized.

Dahil nga pag-ibig ang alay ko sa’yo, ano pa man, saan man, kailan man, nand’yan lang ako sa puso mo, nananatili. – I can’t explain how love remains even if the corpus is not seen, contact for a long time has gone, and memories have put beneath the reach of mind. You never stop loving someone you’ve loved. Love endures.

H’wag nang naising tayo’y mawalay, h’wag nang isiping magwawakas ang paglalakbay. – For your life and mine is a journey, and if ever catastrophe comes to our way, look inside your heart, there you’ll see that love never tires. Continue the journey.

Measuring God's Grace

2007-08-28T15:01:00.000+08:00

Some months ago, I read a compilation of homilies by some famous Jesuit fathers in the country. One of the authors is a prominent priest of the society. He tells about an incident when he was still a young seminarian who’ll in just a matter of months become a young Jesuit. There was a point when he felt discouraged. He came to his spiritual friend. Upon listening to him for quite sometime, the priest said, “Why don’t you try giving without counting the cost?” This perhaps would be an ideal thing to talk about, but I think many people have come to the realization of this statement so far.

My soul is restless these days while thinking about the priest’s advise. I’ve been preoccupied with much reflection about many things. One thing would be about measuring God’s graciousness. I think God is so good that he’d still forgive and love me even if I continually live sinful everyday, I mean to the extreme point of repenting insincere during the sacrament of confession. Sounds a weird idea right? The possibility of deceiving priests during the sacrament may be realized by some people today, but we don’t fool God when we try to deceive Him, He knows it anyway. Then the next thing to do would be fooling themselves. Being mesmerized by God’s graciousness would be something really good to experience and think about. Though understanding it fully wouldn’t be humane, and making it a basis for justifying our jealousy and pride to God would be insane, man expresses His possessing nature by making himself in the level of anyone; even of his own Creator. In short, man tries to limits God by comparing Him to himself.

In the end, I come to the recurring reminder that surrendering and trusting God’s grace would always be a prudent act when such crisis comes, and the story of the Jesuit father would always remind me that embracing a world greater than your own would remain possible when you don't count the cost.

Si Nanay... Naghihintay

2007-08-15T09:44:00.000+08:00

Doon nga sa bahay
Si nanay naghihintay
Sulo nya’y buhay

Huwag Kang Matakot

2007-07-30T11:36:00.000+08:00

Eraserheads

Huwag kang matakot
'Di mo ba alam nandito lang ako
Sa iyong tabi
'Di kita pababayaan kailan man
At kung ikaw ay mahulog sa bangin
Ay sasaluhin kita

Huwag kang matakot na matulog mag-isa
Kasama mo naman ako
Huwag kang matakot na umibig at lumuha
Kasama mo naman ako
Huwag kang matakot

Huwag kang matakot
Dahil ang buhay mo'y walang katapusan
Makapangyarihan ang pag-ibig
Na hawak mo sa iyong kamay
Ikaw ang Diyos at hari ng iyong mundo
Matakot sila sa 'yo

Huwag kang matakot na matulog mag-isa
Kasama mo naman ako
Huwag kang matakot na umibig at lumuha
Kasama mo naman ako
Huwag kang matakot na magmukhang tanga
Kasama mo naman ako
Huwag kang matakot sa hindi mo pa makita
Kasama mo naman ako
Huwag kang matakot

Huwag kang matakot na matulog mag-isa
Kasama mo naman ako
Huwag kang matakot na umibig at lumuha
Kasama mo naman ako
Huwag kang matakot

Huwag kang matakot
'Di kita pababayaan kailan man

Napakaganda ng pahiwatig ng awit na ito sa aking buhay at bokasyon ngayon. Marahil, ito rin ang nais ipagbigay-alam ng Diyos sa sinumang nagnanais na sumunod sa kanya. "Huwag kang matakot, 'di kita pababayaan, nandito lang ako."

Psalm 84

2007-07-23T21:06:00.000+08:00

How lovely is Your dwelling place
O, Lord, mighty God, Lord of all.

Even the lowly sparrow finds a home for her brood,
and the swallow, a nest for herself
where she may lay her young
in Your altars, my King and my God.

Blessed are they whose dwelling is Your own, Lord of peace.
Blest are they refreshed by springs and by rain
when dryness daunts and scathes.
Behold my Shield, my King and my God.

I would forsake a thousand other days anywhere
if I could spend one day in Your courts,
belong to You alone.
My strength are You alone,
my Glory, my King and my God.

How lovely, Your dwelling place
O, Lord, mighty God, Lord of all.

This was a hit responsorial psalm during my stay in Don Bosco Mandaluyong. Memories of my last years in high school revolved in this song. And perhaps if people would be asked on what song they remember me, this would be it. I have sung this psalm many times during our masses, and every time I would sing it, it is as if it would be the only opportunity to sing it, and so I would sing it with all my being. My friend Igy loved it when I would sing this before, I don't know if he'll still love to hear me sing this after some years that had passed, and actually if I were to choose our friendship song, this would be my pick; the song that witnessed the story of our friendship. Igy, this is for you.

Incidents Not Accidents

2007-07-14T21:18:00.000+08:00

When God creates, His creation is realized by his outpouring love; and we came about because there is a God who has always shared his extra Godly love. Though identified as the highest form of creation, we benefit from the truth that we share His extras brought about by His own being, which makes us truly little less than a god. And I guess, this realization should broaden our perspective on how we are to live the gift of life, that since we are mere extras made into being, we are also to choose to share, love and live life by and through the same love that we’re.

The God You're

2007-07-12T21:27:00.000+08:00

Let me love my God through my heart
The heart that was made before His
His image and likeness eternal

Eternal is his Love
The Love that is, was, and will
Boundless it is, penetrating reality

Reality of my life
The love of God exists
Exists in being

Being is a perfect gift
Gift that is from perfection
Perfection that is God

God You’re

You are My Everything

2007-07-12T20:51:00.000+08:00

“…You hold on to me tight that I may keep the fight
To love you more and all the more each day”

I was really struck by these end lines of “You are My Everything.” It has just been played during our benediction service awhile ago led me to a recurring realization about God’s love for us; that God is with us in our fight against our human inclinations, if only we would hold on and keep the faith, winning would be inevitable.

Towards Perfect Happiness

2007-07-02T20:55:00.000+08:00

Man is on a continual journey towards his daily goal: to be happy. While we think that we experience happiness in our lives, we might have asked this at least once, “Am I happy enough?”

Perfect happiness is a yearning of the heart. Though it’s not a reality of this world, the possibility of happiness being sought and found exists. While the world tells us that every moment of happiness has its price, and had to be bought to acquire the ever-longed experience of happiness, we find ourselves with lots of created needs but never satisfied happiness.

The heart’s longings were made not to frustrate man, but to encourage him to seek greater things which a created matter such as the world cannot offer. As the reality of the world tells us that every created being has a time to expire, we cannot but seek for happiness from something or someone who doesn’t expire: God.

Let us seek the Perfect Happiness with great enthusiasm and hope.

Perfecting Perfection

2007-07-02T09:36:00.000+08:00

God is perfect, and since He's perfect, the reason why he must be doing anything must also be for something perfect: Himself. Otherwise, He contradicts Himself in settling for reasons less than perfection.

We might be often caught unaware of this fact, but the other side of our humanity tells us that since we are made from God’s perfection, there would be no higher purpose for doing but also for perfection who is God.

The great picture shows us that God created everything for the progression of His perfection. His creation adds nothing to Himself. It doesn’t make Him any lesser or any better, for the lone fact that He’s God. Since there is nothing and no one more deserving to accept God’s will than Perfection Himself, God doesn’t create because he is egotistic.

Never Too Good

2007-07-01T13:27:00.000+08:00

Some people have this tendency to be labeled as “too good to be true.” Though it might seem unbecoming to be truly good these days, let us look at the other side of the coin that tells us that the basis of the same statement is rooted in man’s journey towards himself.

How can there be something too good if goodness itself is already perfect? Goodness that comes from Perfection, who is God, cannot but be perfect in its nature.

I just got reminded of this truth. We are good. We’ll always be good. Nothing can put us away from our very nature since everything is from Perfection. Not even the choices we make would separate us from God, but as we realize God’s goodness let us also be reminded that our existence would always be for God’s progressing perfection and glory.

It doesn’t imply that God’s creation was made for His leisure, but the other side of the story tells us that we are in, with, and for his Perfection.

†Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam et Salutatem Animarum

Who Writes?

2007-06-30T21:28:00.000+08:00

At the moment, people (seminarians) here who own blogs have similar entries sharing different viewpoints on the philosophy of writing. It’s a requirement in their subject, and when you see their pieces, all of them bound to answer this question: “why do I write?”

From there, I have also started to justify personal answers to the same question. So, where do you think should I draw them? As I write this article, I am trying to picture a writer when he writes. As a skill, he writes for discovery, comprehension and integration of what the mind knows and what it would want to express. Otherwise, the art of writing gives him a sense of fulfillment and liberty. Most of the time, he writes because he just feels like writing. His writing lives in him and he in his writing.

When I write, the motive of writing mirrors the product of my work, thus I become my own piece.

Soar High Under

2007-06-30T11:14:00.000+08:00

Born for Greater Things! This has been the cry of Don Bosco Canlubang for the past years of its existence while it is still vital challenge to everyone up to the time-being.

But how does someone become great in the eyes of his lauder? Perhaps a good number of people here have their idols or people whom they look up to. It might also be said that they have this binding commonality which moves them to laud and acknowledge the influence of his power. If this factor truly exists then what is it?

I often process the feeling of being envious to people who project themselves to the public as superheroes who feel that they are indispensable in the eyes of the people they meet as they try to save the world while their motives suffer in the unprocessed part of their being. But possibly, this phenomenon was never cited in the viewpoint of a lauder.

I am a lauder myself. I also have idols. I have my definition on how I should deal with them. I am a part of my question. I also have in me that binding force from which we lauders are unconscious. If I may identify my issue, let me say that it is our desire to be like them that makes us a wanderer. Though the existing truth is, we would not just want to be like them, but as we identify, we corrupt and yield ourselves to the same identity thus, we become – them.

Probably, “born for greater things” imply that the moment we were formed in the womb accompanies us in the reality towards our great being. Nevertheless greatness doesn’t stop there. As we progress through the years, it becomes clear to us that there is more in being the great person for it was already a given, and it is from there that our call to higher things comes to realization. We are great in our nature, and it is in that same nature that we would desire to be more. But the call towards surpassing this given nature challenges us not to desire higher but to dig deeper in the discovery of ourselves; self-mastery.

“If it dies, it bears much fruit.” - Jn 12:24 Let me die in my greatness and my desires of reaching the blue sky that my person may long for his deeper reason, and in digging deep I may grow and bear much fruit, better than before.

Buhay-kandila

2007-04-27T18:38:00.000+08:00

Ang mitsa ay ang pagsilang
Pagkamulat sa mundong patunaw
Umaagos ang init at pusok
Sa dulo'y hupang nagbabanta
Sa ilaw ay buhay
Sa simoy ay kamatayan
Sinasaklaw ang pangkalahatan
Nauupos sa pagkadakila
Sa liwanag ay dilim
Taglay ng sindi'y banta
Payak na't di lalaon
Nakadapang tila pasuko
Patunaw at pakalat
Pinapatay ang sarili ng kusa
Masdan ang buhay-kandila
Ikaw

Buksan

2007-04-19T18:26:00.000+08:00

Pinhid ng pintuan, mistulang dingding,
Walang sinuma ang maaring tanggapin.

Anong pumipigil? Anong nagbabawal?
Sa sariling mundo'y ba't di ka lumaya?

Buksan ang 'yong mga mata kahit may luha.
Mamahalin parin kita. Tutulungang Lumaya

Ang basong may tubig lagyan mong muli.
Aapaw dahil wala nang silid.
Ang pusong may galit, di maaring umibig.
Bulag sa wasto, alipin ng isip.

Buksan ang 'yong mga mata kahit may luha.
Mamahalin parin kita. Tutulungang Lumaya.

... siguro kung kaya kong bumalik, pipiliin ko paring pumasok sa seminaryo. Doon kung saan nabuksan ang pintuang mistulang pader sa kapal at bigat. Doon kung saan pinapalaya't hinihiom ang puso. Doon na ang baso ng pag-ibig ay ang puso; bottomless! Siguro nga'y nakapiring ang mga mata ko noon, walang buhay na maaninaw. Ngunit di nangahulugang, di ko kayang piliing nakapiring at pikit-matang itaya ang pangarap at buhay ko sa pagkasalesyanong seminarista. Sinong mag-aalis ng piring? Hindi ko alam. Tanging batid ko'y nakagapos din pala ang aking mga kamay. Nakayapos sa Iyo Panginoon.

Inside the Heart of A True Friend

2007-03-19T11:07:00.001+08:00

*Dedicated to my good friend Mikky Manaligod as he owns his retreat on March 10, 2007. Thanks for being loyal and true.

I do not feel the need to send you this letter,

Yet I write letting the thoughts

And the spirit of those thoughts crawl from my heart

Toward my hands

And type all the words needed to write this letter.

And so I write without any reason at all.

For all those reasons

Are already with you and within you;

Inside the heart of a true friend.

Keep those values that we’ve learned through you.

Keep those memories that we’ve made true.

Keep them where they can only exist;

In the heart of a true friend;

Truth.

The past nor the future does not exist.

Believe me they don’t.

But only does the present.

How do we look back to nothingness

And look forward to a dream?

They only exist in the plane

And so look at your heart.

Your heart where nothingness is defied

And dreams come true.

Exist.

Carry One

2007-01-01T11:09:00.000+08:00

New year never means going back to zero and start again. It means carrying over, carrying on, and being responsible of the past so that you can move on, hopeful for the future.

A blessed year ahead!

Tayo na Pinili Natin

2006-12-31T18:00:00.000+08:00

Pinipili daw ang kaibigan
Kaibigang pagpupunlaan ng tiwala
Tiwalang sasandiganan ng pagkakaibigan
Pagkakaibigang walang hanggan

Nasaan ka na ngayon
Ngayon na hindi kaylanman
Kaylanman magiging kahapon
Kahapong gaya ng bukas

Nagkulang ba tayo
Tayo sa isa’t-isa
Isa’t-isang hindi tayo
Tayong di ikaw ni ako

Batid ng puso ko ang ikaw
Ikaw na di nagkulang
Nagkulang sa paggiging kaibigan
Kaibigang maaasahan

Ngunit bakit ganito
Ganito ang ngayon
Na di na gaya ng dati
Dati maging nang bukas

Walang sagot sa mundo
Mundong mapaglaro’t mapanglito
Mapanglitong manggagaling sa’yo
Sa’yo ang isasagot ng mundo

Kung ang mundo ay walang sagot
Sagot na hanap sa’yo
Sa’yo na tanging totoo
Totoo at ikaw ang aantayin ko

Para sa iyo Totoong Kaibigan

Panibagong Pasko

2006-12-25T17:13:00.000+08:00

Pasko na naman.
Unang pasko ko na seminarista ako.
Bakit tila kakaiba ang pasko?
Baka naninibago lang ako.

Masaya ba o malungkot?
Excited ba o matamlay?
Payapa ba o Magulo?
Baka naninibago lang ako.

Ngunit hindi nga ba?
Hindi nga ba ito ang hatid ng pasko?
Ang paninibago.
Ang pababago sa puso ko.

Panahong bago ang lahat.
Napawi ang bawat kalungkutan pati saya.
Nabura pagkatamlay at pagkabigahani.
Bagong muli ang lahat sa Kanya.

Bagong muli ang lahat.
Nang dahil sa Kanya.
Sa pamamagitan Nya.
Sa pagsilang Nya.

"See I make all things new." These were the words of Jesus as he carries the cross to Calvary. As we celebrate this event of Christ renewing our lives ones again, may we live life looking through the renewed eyes of faith, hope, and love.

Mapagpanibagong Pasko sa ating lahat.

Veritas

2006-09-27T13:59:00.001+08:00

"

Truth is simple.
It's so simple that whenever I would try to justify nor define it, all the more it becomes complicated.

"

O.P.

2006-09-26T11:49:00.001+08:00

Yesterday morning, boys from Don Bosco Mandaluyong came to experience a short vocation orientation before going to Batulao for their retreat. I was asked to give my vocation story, and if possible, make it short (for whenever I would be asked to relay my vocation story, it would take me 30 minutes or so) – I told them to give me just 5 minutes this time (oh diba very short!)
While the program was going, I was thinking about what to share to these people, something short yet something substantial. And I thought of sharing a very own reflection about some lines that struck me sometime during my meditation – I shared only my reflection.

“If you seek life in the land of death you will not find it. Can there be a blessed life where life itself doesn’t exist?” –The Confessions of St. Augustine

These lines speak about being “Out of Place.” And being out of place means being uncomfortable, that would most probably lead us to being miserable. We will always be in a continuous “search and find” state in dealing about our being "In Place," in the right place. It also seemed to be similar to the message of Michael Smith’s composition, “My Place in this World.”

“Looking for a reason
Roaming through the night to find
My place in this world
Not a lot to lean on
I need Your light to help me find
My place in this world”

Where is your place in this world?
Where are you now?
What’s next for you?

I’ve found my place for the moment and yet still searches for it. May you continue to “search and find” yours.

My Hope

2006-08-13T21:50:00.000+08:00

Hopeless, I now feel
Everything seems to be meaningless
I am discouraged

Kneeling, I prayed hard
Looking around everywhere
I am in struggle

Blue and white, natures of hope
It’s then I knew it was you
And I hoped again

Mary assumed into heaven body and soul. Pray for us.

Equilibrium

2006-08-08T14:21:00.000+08:00

People come and go
Today their here
Tomorrow their gone
Most of the time, for a reason we don’t understand

The reasons may be as simple as this
And maybe as big as that
For us, maybe significant
For him, maybe totally not

Nothing is certain
And nothing will be
You might try to build something now
But for how long it’ll last, wait and see

Yet behind these truths
You continue to love
Your past reminds you of your trying
And now you’re trying ones again

Say, there’s no harm in trying
But hurt in trying there’s
It’s just a matter of faith, hope, and love
And how you can ease the hurt for him up above

Never feel empty because of him
You would never know if he also feels empty because of you
Don’t even be tempted to think that you’re the only one hurting
You would never know how hurtful the situations were for him

Offer you hurt and never think that you’re alone
You would never know his intentions and motives
Maybe he’s also hurting for you
You would never know

"Equilibrium" is dedicated to Sem. Chino Reyes.
Thank you for being such an inspiration.

Bukas'Yon

2006-07-22T15:03:00.000+08:00

Dalawang buwan na magmula nung pumasok ako ng seminaryo.
Masaya? boring? Malungkot?
Siguro oo.
Siguro minsan.
Siguro hindi.
Pero ang buhay sa seminaryo ay walang pagkakaiba sa buhay sa labas nito.
Masaya? boring? malungkot?

Hindi ba't ganun nga din ang nangyayari sa labas.
Hindi ibig sabihin na nasa seminaryo ako'y hindi ko na kayang gawin ang nagagawa sa labas nito.
Dito nag-aaral din.
Dito nagtatrabaho din.
Dito naglalaro din.
Dito nagdarasal din.

Ano nga kaya ang mayroon dito na wala sa labas?
Ano nga ba ang mayroon sa labas na wala dito?
Siguro may mall sa labas.
Kami nagshoshopping ng ideas, knowledge, at creativity sa study hall.
Siguro may gimmickan at drinking session sa labas
May shrine naman kami para gummimick at makipagsession din sa Diyos..

Kalayaan?
Hindi nga ba kami malaya sa loob?
Paano nga ba masasabing malaya ka?
Ako, Kami, sa seminaryo, pinili namin maging seminarista dahil doon at sa pagiging ganoon namin nakikita at naisasabuhay ang kalayaan kami kalayaan, sa sarili, sa pakikitungo sa kabataang tulad namin, at malaya sa pakikipag-ugnayan sa Diyos.

Karapatdapat?
Sino nga bang karapatdapat?
Ako? Kami?
Wala sa amin.
Wala sa atin.
Ang bokasyong ito ay hindi patungkol sa atin.
Ngunit tungkol sa Diyos na tumatawag sa atin.
Sa kabila ng natural at likas nating pagkakasala.
Sa kanila ng ating likas na pagiging makasalanan.
Hindi tayo kailanman magiging karapatdapat
Pero kaya nating subakan maging karapatdapat.

Handa?
Sino nga bang handa?
Wala naman amin.
Wala naman sa atin.
Pero ang alam ko lang.
Kaya nating paghandaan ang pagiging handa.

Hindi pa sikat ang araw, kami’y gising na.
Ang iba sa inyo, baka naghihilik pa.
Hinaharap naming ang bawat araw.
Nag-aaral.
Naglalaro.
Nagdarasal.
Mahirap pero masarap.
Boring, nakakamiss, at malungkot minsan.
Pero kung babalikan ko yung araw na sinagot ko ang tawag ng Diyos.
Yung araw na dama ko, nasa tabi ko talaga s’ya at naghihintay lang sa sagot ko.
Siguro wala ng saya na hihigit pa.

Once It's Gone, It's Gone

2006-06-19T10:25:00.000+08:00

It’s my third week in the seminary, enjoying my studies, works and prayers. But actually, I am really disturbed by what is happening to some people that I left in Manila; some people very close to my heart.

Every morning, and I mean every morning, during my morning meditation in our lauds, I never forget to pray for them.

Actually I am just thinking of one very special person right now, and he was even in my dreams during the past nights of my sleep. I regularly pray for him during the past year when we were not seeing each other. He was a very big help in my vocation, because of him, I learned to accept things that are far beyond my control.

Although I never knew the reason why he left, I kept on believing in him, that he left for a better reason; a reason that would benefit both of us. And I think, this is one sweet fruit of his intention; my vocation was confirmed and I finally dared to answer God’s call.

The night before I would enter the seminary, I wanted to talk to him even for the last time. To settle things that had happened before, to close issues that should be closed, and to thank him for many things, for everything, but for some reasons I’m still afraid that he would refuse to talk to me.

It’s been a year since the crisis in my vocation happened yet everything is still fresh to my mind. I think one year is enough to wait for something that I expect to come, but now I feel discouraged that things won’t be happening the way I expect them to be.

Bro. Noel gave us a sermon last night in the study hall about the proper use of time. The time lost cannot be brought back, even if you make up for it; you’re making up for it at the present. “Once it’s lost, it’s lost.”

Maybe it’s enough. One year is one year, and it’s time to move on and leave the past to the past. Now, I’m leaving everything to that special friend. I don’t want to be unfair to the God to whom I chose to serve, to love and to give my whole life. But rest assured that he is always in my prayers.

Sweet Goodbye,

Kuya

saLAMAT

2006-06-03T14:30:00.000+08:00

Sa totoo lang hindi ko alam kung paano ko isasablog ang nararamdaman ko ngayon. Habang inaalala ang lahat ng pinakamasasaya at pinakamalulungkot, ang mga pinaka masasakit at pinakamahihirap na sitwasyong pinagdaanan natin, ang pinakalito at pinakagulong pagpiling hinarap ko, alam ko nandyan ka lang para sa akin, para sa atin.

Kapag daw nasusugatan tayo at naghilom ang sugat, mayroong markang natitira. Isang peklat. Isang natural na palatandaan ng sugat, ng sakit at ng nakaraan. At tandang-tanda natin kung kailan at sa paanong paraan tayo nasaktan at nasugatan. Pero hindi lang daw pala sugat ang nagmamarka. Pati pala ang pagsasama. Kung paano kang naging bahagi ng buhay ng isang tao. Kung paano kayo naging hugutan ng lakas ng loob sa bawat isa. Kung paanong kadamay ka n’ya sa pagkabigo at pagkasawi. Tila nagiiwan ka rin ng isang marka. Nagiiwan ka rin ng isang lamat sa puso nya. Hindi ba’t tandang-tanda mo rin at malinaw sa’yo kung paano s’yang naging bahagi ng buhay mo?

Ganyan daw ang pagpapasalamat. Sa bawat salamat ay may pagbabalik-tanaw. Sa bawat salamat ay may lamat. At alam na alam natin sa kung paano naging bahagi ng buhay natin ang taong yon. Sa bawat pakikipagkilala ay mayroon ding pagpapaalam. At ngayong aalis na ako. Sana alam mo kung gaano ka naging malalim na lamat sa puso ko. Isang lamat sa buhay ko.

Sa mga pinakamalalapit sa puso ko, mga kaibigan na tinuring kong kapatid, ang iba tinuring kong kuya at ate, minsan ang iba para ko pang magulang. Alam mo ba, inspirasyon kita. Sa kung ano ako ngayon ay kasama ka. Sa kung sino ako ngayon ay isa ka sa dahilan. Nagbalik-tanaw ako sa ating nilakbay. Habang tinatanaw ko ito, naisip kong hindi pala ganoon kapatag ang kapatagan, hindi pala ganoon kapayapa ang dagat, may mabatong parte parin pala kahit na ang pinakamalinaw na sapa, at hindi rin pala madaling akyatin ang bundok. Pero ang lahat ng ito nadaanan na natin. Nadaanan nating magkasama. Ikaw at ako. At naisip ko din na hindi pala naging ganoon kahirap, kasakit, kagulo ang lahat. Dahil nariyan ka. Dahil kasama kita.

[Habang yakap ako isa-isa ng mga kaibigan ko nang mga sandaling iyon, pilit kong tinatanong ang sarili ko sa kung paanong paraan nga ba ako naging bahagi ng buhay nila at sila sa buhay ko. Hangad kong ipagdasal n’yo ako at lahat ng seminarista na nawa’y masunod namin ang kagustuhan ng Diyos sa aming kanya kanyang bokasyon.]

Salamat sa lamat.

Kalakbay ng kabataan,

Sem. Ron Abriel A. Evangelista
Salesian Seminarian

Inlab ka ba? Ako OO.

2006-05-31T09:53:00.000+08:00

Kanino?
Sa kanya?
Wow!
Mabuti ka pa.

Holding hands na,
May kiss at hugs pa.
Love mo ba sya?
Yeekee, ang sweet naman.

Ako?
Inlab din ako.
Sana nga lab ko sya.
Kasi s’ya, lab nya ako.

Ang hirap nga lang minsan,
Gusto ko din ng kiss.
Gusto ko din ng hug.
Pero wala akong nakukuha.

Ang hirap n’yang mahalin.
Madaming luha at sakit.
Minsan nga nagdududa na ako
Mahal ko nga ba s’ya?

Minsan gusto ko nang sumuko
Pero kapag nakikita ko sya,
Nakabayubay sa krus,
Walang duda, Inlab parin ako sa kanya.

manSANAs

2006-05-05T09:55:00.000+08:00

Lord, andito yung mga sanas ko. Mga sanas mula sa puso ko. Iniiwan ko sana sya sa'yo. Para pag-alis ko, all these sanas maioffer ko sa'yo.

Sana si Mommy wag malungkot sa pag-alis ko. Para sa'yo naman to dba.
Sana si Kuya Janmapili na yung right work for him. Kung pwede yung gusto nya talga.
Sana si Rina maging masaya pa with her friends at sana maging mas close pa sila.
Sana si Jason wag mapagod sa pagseserve even the smallest way to help. Iguide mo sya.
Sana si Cholo lumaki na. Kasama na rin dun yung holistic growth nya.
Sana si Kuya Gary hindi na masyadong mapressure sa work nya.
Sana si Imman pumayat na. Sana mas maging masayahin pa.
Sana si Jhed cool lang kahit pinapagalitan. Darating din naman yung time nya.
Sana si Igy laging may peace of mind and heart. Nandyan ka lang naman para sa kanya.
Sana si Kiel in-love muna sa studies bago main-love sa mga girls nya.
Sana si JM maging matatag pa sa mga hamon ng life. Malaki ang inaasahan ko sa kanya.
Sana si Mikky okay ang maging takbo ng studies at love-life. Alagaan mo po sya.
Sana si Luis magenjoy sa career na pinili nya at matupad ang mga dreams pa nya.
Sana si AJ hindi na malito sa bokasyon nya, at sana pumayat na rin sya.
Sana si Jerome mag grow pa at mas maging clear sa kanya ang vocation nya.
Sana si Jesser maipagpatuloy ang pagiging servant-leader sa USTE at san man magpunta.
Sana si Martin manatiling ”iba-sa-iba”. Sana nga maging sila na ni Chesca.
Sana si Kate maabot ang marami pa nyang pangarap para sa pamilya at sarili nya.
Sana si Rex sobrang laging okay. Marami akong utang at ipinagpapasalamat sa kanya.
Sana si Leo manatiling nakakapit sa principles nya at di maguluhan sa pulitika.
Sana si Dave maging inspirayon sa mga peers nya. Lalo na kapag naglead na sya.

Narito ang mga sanas ko sa mga taong pinakamalapit sa puso ko, Sana lang. Sana nga. Paano ko man sabihin, gaano ko man hangarin. Ikaw parin Lord ang pupuno sa kakulangan ng mga sanas na yan. Sana sa pagiging wala ko sa piling nila, mas maramdaman ka'ng working sa buhay nila.

Isn't Parent's Day Yet

2006-04-25T08:43:00.000+08:00

I was with Kate last night chatting over a Banana frapp. We haven't seen each other for quite a long time since 2005 when we were still giving retreats in Quezon City. So many stories and sharings, then one moment I was struck on what she said, "A good priest is produced through good parents." Then she left and went to the ladies room.

Thinking about it for a while, I remembered Mommy. I imagined her and how hard it is for her to race a family without Daddy on her side since he passed away 12 years ago. Where does she get her strenght all this time? If it's from us her children particularly me, I wouldn't be worthy of being one.

My mom is my Superwoman! What I am now is because of this Superwoman. And Kate was right, I owe everything to mom. Thanks Mom, Thanks Dad. I love You.